way home from a professional fight.” My brain spun. For all I knew I was spinning, too. I wished like hell that there was something nearby to hold onto. I would have used the doctor, but I didn’t think his frail body could support me. “What kind of animal was it?”
“I actually have no idea. Like I said the bites were deep and definite. The medical examiner will look into it, along with the police.”
“He’s really gone?”
“Yes, I’m sorry.”
“Just like that? One minute he’s full of life kicking ass in the ring, and twelve hours later he’s dead?” I wasn’t making sense, and I knew it. Who could make sense at a time like this?
“If you need grief counseling, we can provide you with that—”
“I don’t need grief counseling.”
I turned around and stumbled toward the door. What the hell is going on? I pushed my way outside and looked up into the morning sun. I dropped to my knees. My heart felt like it was going to rip from my chest. I needed to get out of here. I went to my truck. But I didn’t trust myself to drive, not right now. So I started running. I ran past cars in the driveway and people walking to their cars. I got to the sidewalk and started sprinting down the street, heading the opposite direction of traffic. The sidewalk soon ended and I was now in the street, running in the direction of approaching cars. I didn’t care. Let them hit me. I didn’t care. Fuck them. Fuck everything.
I kept running as fast as I could. Cars swerved around into the next lane. Horns honked everywhere. Tires screeched. And still I ran. Now a car was coming directly for me. I refused to move over. It screeched to a stop, smoke billowing up around its tires. But I didn’t slow or swerve. Instead, I ran up onto its hood and ignored the shocked expression of the middle-aged driver. I ran over the roof and down the trunk, leaving massive footprints in the sheet metal. I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything.
Eventually I turned a corner and found myself in a dirt parking lot. Some cars followed me in. I dropped to my knees, sucking air, trying to breathe, trying to die. Whatever came first, I didn’t care.
A guy in a big, black Ford truck got out of his vehicle and began yelling at me. “What the hell were you doing you stupid asshole!”
I ignored him, barely saw him. He was just background noise.
Another guy jumped out of a white Mazda. An overweight Asian dude. “You stupid piece of shit...what the hell were you trying to do?”
God, I was in so much pain. I didn’t care if these two guys wanted to kick my ass or not. I was going to let them do it if they wanted to. I dropped my chin against my chest. My heart was racing so fast. Finally, I just let out a long, bellowing wail.
One of the guys asked me if I needed help, but I didn’t respond. Eventually, they both got in their vehicles and drove off. From above, I heard the beat of Daphne’s wings and an occasional squawk. I don’t know what it was about that bird, but she was attached to me. The morning sun beat down on my neck. Its heat comforted me.
Eventually, I made it back to my truck and drove home. I opened the door and went straight into Tommy’s room. He kept his room meticulous, just as he did everything else in his life. He still had pictures of himself and my sister on his dresser, even though she had been dead for three years. Pictures of them at Disneyland and at her senior prom.
On top of the dresser was a picture of Tommy and me with our arms around each other after my first MMA fight. I had knocked the guy out in one minute, so Tommy and I were sporting the number one sign. We looked so happy. This picture was about a year old, which would have been two years after my family’s accident. Tommy and I knew without ever talking about it that we were bonded for life. Now...he was gone. He had gone to heaven. Now I have my pops, mom, sis, and Tommy all looking after me.
I sat on his bed and lay back on his pillow
“I actually have no idea. Like I said the bites were deep and definite. The medical examiner will look into it, along with the police.”
“He’s really gone?”
“Yes, I’m sorry.”
“Just like that? One minute he’s full of life kicking ass in the ring, and twelve hours later he’s dead?” I wasn’t making sense, and I knew it. Who could make sense at a time like this?
“If you need grief counseling, we can provide you with that—”
“I don’t need grief counseling.”
I turned around and stumbled toward the door. What the hell is going on? I pushed my way outside and looked up into the morning sun. I dropped to my knees. My heart felt like it was going to rip from my chest. I needed to get out of here. I went to my truck. But I didn’t trust myself to drive, not right now. So I started running. I ran past cars in the driveway and people walking to their cars. I got to the sidewalk and started sprinting down the street, heading the opposite direction of traffic. The sidewalk soon ended and I was now in the street, running in the direction of approaching cars. I didn’t care. Let them hit me. I didn’t care. Fuck them. Fuck everything.
I kept running as fast as I could. Cars swerved around into the next lane. Horns honked everywhere. Tires screeched. And still I ran. Now a car was coming directly for me. I refused to move over. It screeched to a stop, smoke billowing up around its tires. But I didn’t slow or swerve. Instead, I ran up onto its hood and ignored the shocked expression of the middle-aged driver. I ran over the roof and down the trunk, leaving massive footprints in the sheet metal. I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything.
Eventually I turned a corner and found myself in a dirt parking lot. Some cars followed me in. I dropped to my knees, sucking air, trying to breathe, trying to die. Whatever came first, I didn’t care.
A guy in a big, black Ford truck got out of his vehicle and began yelling at me. “What the hell were you doing you stupid asshole!”
I ignored him, barely saw him. He was just background noise.
Another guy jumped out of a white Mazda. An overweight Asian dude. “You stupid piece of shit...what the hell were you trying to do?”
God, I was in so much pain. I didn’t care if these two guys wanted to kick my ass or not. I was going to let them do it if they wanted to. I dropped my chin against my chest. My heart was racing so fast. Finally, I just let out a long, bellowing wail.
One of the guys asked me if I needed help, but I didn’t respond. Eventually, they both got in their vehicles and drove off. From above, I heard the beat of Daphne’s wings and an occasional squawk. I don’t know what it was about that bird, but she was attached to me. The morning sun beat down on my neck. Its heat comforted me.
Eventually, I made it back to my truck and drove home. I opened the door and went straight into Tommy’s room. He kept his room meticulous, just as he did everything else in his life. He still had pictures of himself and my sister on his dresser, even though she had been dead for three years. Pictures of them at Disneyland and at her senior prom.
On top of the dresser was a picture of Tommy and me with our arms around each other after my first MMA fight. I had knocked the guy out in one minute, so Tommy and I were sporting the number one sign. We looked so happy. This picture was about a year old, which would have been two years after my family’s accident. Tommy and I knew without ever talking about it that we were bonded for life. Now...he was gone. He had gone to heaven. Now I have my pops, mom, sis, and Tommy all looking after me.
I sat on his bed and lay back on his pillow
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