She couldnât be. Surely?
Nat watched a procession of emotions march across her friendâs face. âAre you sure? I thought you and Valentino might be gettingââ
âQuite sure,â Paige interrupted, her heart booming like church bells in her chest.
Nat didnât think Paige looked overly convinced. She reached into her handbag. âI just happen to have an extra one of these.â She placed a packaged pregnancy test on the desk and pushed it towards Paige.
Paige looked at it like it was a venomous snake. She could not be pregnant. Could not. An image rose unbidden in her mind. Daisyâs tiny white coffin covered in pale pink roses.
Even now it had the power to paralyse her.
âYou know itâs the first thing the GPâs going to do anyway,â Nat murmured. âMight as well save her the effort.â
Paige nodded, knowing Nat was right. She looked at the test again, a sudden thought occurring to her. âJust happen to have this huh?â
Nat shrugged. âI bought one of those two-in-onesâ¦in case.â
Paige could tell from her friendâs face that sheâd already used the first one and was trying really hard to be sensitive to Paigeâs situation in the face of her own good news. âDoes this mean congratulations are in order?â
Nat nodded and then grinned. âYouâre the first one to know.â
Paige grinned back, even though inside she felt bleaker than a Bronte moor. âThatâs fabulous, Nat.â She leaned forward and gave her friend a big hug. âAlessandro and Juliano will be over the moon.â
âTheyâll be ecstatic,â Nat agreed. âIâve been trying to get hold of Alessandro for the last two hours but heâs not answering. I just had to tell someone.â
Paige smiled. âI feel honoured.â
They chatted for the next few minutes about due dates and morning sickness until Natâs phone beeped with a message from Alessandro. âHeâs at home.â
âWell, what are you waiting for? Off you go,â Paige teased. When Nat hesitated she said, âI mean it, go. Iâll be fine.â
Nat stood. âYou will do the test, wonât you?â
Paige eyeballed it, remembering the last time sheâd done a pregnancy test. The joy. The hope. She looked away. âYes.â
âIâm going to ring in the morning and check on you.â
Paige rolled her eyes. âYes, maâam.â
Nat leaned down and gave her friend a quick squeeze. âIâll see you tomorrow.â
The room seemed preternaturally quiet after Nat left. There was just Paige and the test and her heart beat ticking loudly in the silence like the doomsday clock.
Her fingers trembled as she picked it up and turned it over and over. She couldnât do pregnant again. After Daisy had died sheâd vowed to never make herself vulnerable like that again. She couldnât stand nine months of living on the edge, being paranoid about things going wrong, demanding scans every week, thinking the worst should there be no foetal movements for a minute, an hour, a day.
Giving birth in a haze of anxiety, constantly testing the babyâs hearing, driving herself insane at the slightest sniffle.
Oh, God. What if it was twins again?
And what about McKenzie? Her child, the one she already had, needed her. There was no time for another. Certainly not for two. There was no spare time to give at all.
She just couldnât do it again.
âAre you going to take that or just stare at it?â
Paige didnât have to look up to know Valentino was standing there. He sounded annoyed.
He could get in line.
âI have a UTI,â she said, raising her face defiantly.
Even glowering at her from the doorway he looked magnificent and her breath caught in her throat. His hair was all messy from the cap and his top two buttons were undone. In another time and place, having his baby
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