Up Your Score by Larry Berger & Michael Colton, Michael Colton, Manek Mistry, Paul Rossi, Workman Publishing Page A
Authors: Larry Berger & Michael Colton, Michael Colton, Manek Mistry, Paul Rossi, Workman Publishing
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was your day?”
“Peachy,” I said.
At that he bellowed cholerically , “You callous piece of carrion ! Can’t you see I’ve been shot? Did you think this hole in my gut was a congenital condition? Get me to a hospital with celerity !”
“You don’t have to be so captious , cantankerous , and churlish . Let me cogitate !”
“If I don’t have this wound cauterized , I’ll be a cadaver .”
At that moment a comely lady walked into the office. She comported herself calmly. She was voluptuous and yet seemed chaste . I was overcome with thoughts that should be censored . She pointed at the wounded man and said, “We were in my apartment; he got up to answer the door, and suddenly I heard a cacophonous sound and a cataclysmic vibration that must have reverberated in your capacious office.”
Just then my assistant, Watt, entered. He said, handing me the phone, “My kid wants to know what sort of tree he should plant in our garden. What do you think, Sure-Lock?”
“A lemon tree, my dear Watt’s son,” I said.
Then Watt became cognizant of the situation. He cowered and said, “What is that?”
“It’s a plant with little yellow fruit and . . .”
He interrupted me, “No, that body on the floor.”
“Oh golly, I forgot. We should get him to a hospital. But wait!” I countermanded , “I need to stop for comestibles on the way!”
We all lifted the body concurrently and put it in my car.
When we arrived at the hospital, the doctor informed us that the corpulent man was dead.
“Golly, that’s too bad,” I said with contrition .
Well, it was time for me to get to the bottom of this heinous crime. Convoking the small crowd, I asked the dame, “Who was that man?”
“My husband,” she replied, crestfallen .
“Were your conjugal relations good?”
“Well, no, in fact we had been celibate for a long time.”
“Why?”
“Speaking with candor , I chose to be chaste .”
“Is it crass to ask why you chose to be chaste ?”
“Because it starts with the letter C.”
“Aha! Well, let’s get to the crux of this situation. Did you kill your husband?”
“How dare you censure me like that. What a calumnious conjecture !”
I repeated, “Did you kill him?”
With chagrin , she capitulated . “Well, only a little, but Watt will corroborate that. He cajoled me into it.”
“Watt! What brought you to it? Cupidity ? All the time I thought you were on the side of the law and you were really covertly planning this crime. My credulity ! You charlatan ! I will bring you both to justice without clemency , and I’m sure you will be castigated with a prison sentence and corporal punishment commensurate with the seriousness of the crime.”
D
dais
----
raised platform
The nervous speaker whispered, “ Da is no way I am going up on the dais !”
daunt
----
to intimidate; frighten
dauntless
----
bold, unable to be daunted
The dauntless mouse daunted the lion with his .357 Magnum.
dearth
----
This word has nothing to do with the word death. It means scarcity (see PAUCITY ).
When there is nothing but d’earth there is a dearth .
Because of Darth Vader, there was a dearth of laughter on the
Death Star
.
debase
----
to lower in quality or value; adulterate (note the similarity to ABASE )
The birds at de base of the statue debased it with excrement.
decoy
----
a lure or bait
The coy duck disguised himself as a wooden decoy , but the hunters shot at him anyway.
defenestration
----
the act of throwing something out the window
Note:
It’s highly unlikely that this word will be on the SAT, but it’s the kind of word everyone should know anyway. You could use it if you ever witness the defenestration of a proctor.
delude
----
to deceive
De lewd dude deluded himself into thinking he was attractive.
demur
----
to object mildly
demure
----
reserved; modest
The demure poodle demurred at the Saint Bernard’s drooling in public.
deplete
----
to lessen the supply or content of
She
“Peachy,” I said.
At that he bellowed cholerically , “You callous piece of carrion ! Can’t you see I’ve been shot? Did you think this hole in my gut was a congenital condition? Get me to a hospital with celerity !”
“You don’t have to be so captious , cantankerous , and churlish . Let me cogitate !”
“If I don’t have this wound cauterized , I’ll be a cadaver .”
At that moment a comely lady walked into the office. She comported herself calmly. She was voluptuous and yet seemed chaste . I was overcome with thoughts that should be censored . She pointed at the wounded man and said, “We were in my apartment; he got up to answer the door, and suddenly I heard a cacophonous sound and a cataclysmic vibration that must have reverberated in your capacious office.”
Just then my assistant, Watt, entered. He said, handing me the phone, “My kid wants to know what sort of tree he should plant in our garden. What do you think, Sure-Lock?”
“A lemon tree, my dear Watt’s son,” I said.
Then Watt became cognizant of the situation. He cowered and said, “What is that?”
“It’s a plant with little yellow fruit and . . .”
He interrupted me, “No, that body on the floor.”
“Oh golly, I forgot. We should get him to a hospital. But wait!” I countermanded , “I need to stop for comestibles on the way!”
We all lifted the body concurrently and put it in my car.
When we arrived at the hospital, the doctor informed us that the corpulent man was dead.
“Golly, that’s too bad,” I said with contrition .
Well, it was time for me to get to the bottom of this heinous crime. Convoking the small crowd, I asked the dame, “Who was that man?”
“My husband,” she replied, crestfallen .
“Were your conjugal relations good?”
“Well, no, in fact we had been celibate for a long time.”
“Why?”
“Speaking with candor , I chose to be chaste .”
“Is it crass to ask why you chose to be chaste ?”
“Because it starts with the letter C.”
“Aha! Well, let’s get to the crux of this situation. Did you kill your husband?”
“How dare you censure me like that. What a calumnious conjecture !”
I repeated, “Did you kill him?”
With chagrin , she capitulated . “Well, only a little, but Watt will corroborate that. He cajoled me into it.”
“Watt! What brought you to it? Cupidity ? All the time I thought you were on the side of the law and you were really covertly planning this crime. My credulity ! You charlatan ! I will bring you both to justice without clemency , and I’m sure you will be castigated with a prison sentence and corporal punishment commensurate with the seriousness of the crime.”
D
dais
----
raised platform
The nervous speaker whispered, “ Da is no way I am going up on the dais !”
daunt
----
to intimidate; frighten
dauntless
----
bold, unable to be daunted
The dauntless mouse daunted the lion with his .357 Magnum.
dearth
----
This word has nothing to do with the word death. It means scarcity (see PAUCITY ).
When there is nothing but d’earth there is a dearth .
Because of Darth Vader, there was a dearth of laughter on the
Death Star
.
debase
----
to lower in quality or value; adulterate (note the similarity to ABASE )
The birds at de base of the statue debased it with excrement.
decoy
----
a lure or bait
The coy duck disguised himself as a wooden decoy , but the hunters shot at him anyway.
defenestration
----
the act of throwing something out the window
Note:
It’s highly unlikely that this word will be on the SAT, but it’s the kind of word everyone should know anyway. You could use it if you ever witness the defenestration of a proctor.
delude
----
to deceive
De lewd dude deluded himself into thinking he was attractive.
demur
----
to object mildly
demure
----
reserved; modest
The demure poodle demurred at the Saint Bernard’s drooling in public.
deplete
----
to lessen the supply or content of
She
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