her.
‘Julia, you look done in.’ Nadine tilts her head and pulls a sympathetic face. She’s right. On the floor, Alex tentatively offers some Lego to Flora. He doesn’t want to give it up but knows he has to.
‘With what happened to your student and Mary being ill,’ Nadine continues, ‘you need a break. And looking after two teenage tearaways is hardly what the doctor ordered, either.’
‘It’s not that easy, is it? Nadine, you know if you want to talk about the test results, I’m a good listener.’
‘Don’t change the subject,’ she chides.
‘ Me change the subject?’ I stay calm. ‘You’re the one—’
‘How’s my big bro?’ Even though she says it with a grin forming, I know her question digs deep. I am giving up on her brother – probably going to have to fight him in court over the kids, the house, money – and Nadine wants answers. We love each other as much as any two friends could. We have known each other for ever, but she can’t help feeling the loss.
‘Did I tell you about David?’ Instantly I regret mentioning him. But she’s my friend. She knows I’ve been through so much with Murray – she sees people like him every day, with addictions making up the bulk of her work – so surely she understands a little of what I’ve been through? I look at the kids again. Beacons of light. They keep me strong.
‘David,’ she ponders. ‘I don’t think so.’
I have mentioned his name in passing twice already. I know she is humouring me even though her tone is weary. She curls her socked feet on to the pale sofa and, after only a moment’s thought, plucks a chocolate from a box sitting on the table beside her. She hands the box to me and I take a strawberry cream. ‘He’s a doctor and we’ve been out for dinner. I’m going over to his house on Thursday. He’s going to cook.’ I am talking with my mouth full, trying not to make any of it sound too serious. I couldn’t stand it if Nadine and I fell out over this.
‘Have you slept with him?’ Nadine sucks her chocolate slowly, eyeing me through fronds of loose hair. Whatever I say will get straight back to Murray.
‘Nadine!’ I feign shock and get a flash of pain as the pink strawberry filling settles on a tooth. ‘He’s very nice,’ I say. ‘But no, we haven’t slept together. I think one pub dinner is a little premature to be suggesting such things. He’s Mum’s GP, actually.’
‘Ah.’ Nadine curls her head in an arc of understanding. I don’t know if this revelation makes things better or worse.
‘He’s older than me.’ I want her to know that I’ve thought about this.
‘How much older?’
‘A little bit, but he looks good for it.’
‘ Julia ,’ she warns.
I’ve said enough. I know Nadine will tell Murray everything when he finds out I’ve been visiting.
‘Look, we just really hit it off.’ I trust Nadine to drip-feed what she sees fit. ‘I called the out-of-hours surgery number on Christmas Day when I found Mum poorly. David was there nearly every day afterwards checking up on her over the holiday period. It grew from there. He’s been good to me, Nadine. A really decent person.’ I wish I’d not said that. It implies that Murray never was.
‘That’s the medical profession for you,’ she jokes rather too sourly. ‘We’re all such darn fine folk.’ She stretches, and her pale arms poke from her baggy sweater. It’s her day off and she looks like she needs it.
I can’t leave allowing her to think this is a fad, that I’m fickle and have intentionally broken her brother’s heart.
‘Do you think it’s possible to feel such a deep emotional connection with someone that you wonder if you’ve known them all your life?’
‘Bloody hell, Jules. Talk about rebound.’ Nadine takes another chocolate. ‘Christ, he’s that amazing and you haven’t slept with him?’ She’s smiling now but not without a glint of loyalty. What can I expect? They are brother and sister.
There
‘Julia, you look done in.’ Nadine tilts her head and pulls a sympathetic face. She’s right. On the floor, Alex tentatively offers some Lego to Flora. He doesn’t want to give it up but knows he has to.
‘With what happened to your student and Mary being ill,’ Nadine continues, ‘you need a break. And looking after two teenage tearaways is hardly what the doctor ordered, either.’
‘It’s not that easy, is it? Nadine, you know if you want to talk about the test results, I’m a good listener.’
‘Don’t change the subject,’ she chides.
‘ Me change the subject?’ I stay calm. ‘You’re the one—’
‘How’s my big bro?’ Even though she says it with a grin forming, I know her question digs deep. I am giving up on her brother – probably going to have to fight him in court over the kids, the house, money – and Nadine wants answers. We love each other as much as any two friends could. We have known each other for ever, but she can’t help feeling the loss.
‘Did I tell you about David?’ Instantly I regret mentioning him. But she’s my friend. She knows I’ve been through so much with Murray – she sees people like him every day, with addictions making up the bulk of her work – so surely she understands a little of what I’ve been through? I look at the kids again. Beacons of light. They keep me strong.
‘David,’ she ponders. ‘I don’t think so.’
I have mentioned his name in passing twice already. I know she is humouring me even though her tone is weary. She curls her socked feet on to the pale sofa and, after only a moment’s thought, plucks a chocolate from a box sitting on the table beside her. She hands the box to me and I take a strawberry cream. ‘He’s a doctor and we’ve been out for dinner. I’m going over to his house on Thursday. He’s going to cook.’ I am talking with my mouth full, trying not to make any of it sound too serious. I couldn’t stand it if Nadine and I fell out over this.
‘Have you slept with him?’ Nadine sucks her chocolate slowly, eyeing me through fronds of loose hair. Whatever I say will get straight back to Murray.
‘Nadine!’ I feign shock and get a flash of pain as the pink strawberry filling settles on a tooth. ‘He’s very nice,’ I say. ‘But no, we haven’t slept together. I think one pub dinner is a little premature to be suggesting such things. He’s Mum’s GP, actually.’
‘Ah.’ Nadine curls her head in an arc of understanding. I don’t know if this revelation makes things better or worse.
‘He’s older than me.’ I want her to know that I’ve thought about this.
‘How much older?’
‘A little bit, but he looks good for it.’
‘ Julia ,’ she warns.
I’ve said enough. I know Nadine will tell Murray everything when he finds out I’ve been visiting.
‘Look, we just really hit it off.’ I trust Nadine to drip-feed what she sees fit. ‘I called the out-of-hours surgery number on Christmas Day when I found Mum poorly. David was there nearly every day afterwards checking up on her over the holiday period. It grew from there. He’s been good to me, Nadine. A really decent person.’ I wish I’d not said that. It implies that Murray never was.
‘That’s the medical profession for you,’ she jokes rather too sourly. ‘We’re all such darn fine folk.’ She stretches, and her pale arms poke from her baggy sweater. It’s her day off and she looks like she needs it.
I can’t leave allowing her to think this is a fad, that I’m fickle and have intentionally broken her brother’s heart.
‘Do you think it’s possible to feel such a deep emotional connection with someone that you wonder if you’ve known them all your life?’
‘Bloody hell, Jules. Talk about rebound.’ Nadine takes another chocolate. ‘Christ, he’s that amazing and you haven’t slept with him?’ She’s smiling now but not without a glint of loyalty. What can I expect? They are brother and sister.
There
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