attention.
‘I was mugged.’
‘Shit, man. Where?’
‘Harrow Road.’
I should get it printed on a card or T-shirt really.
‘No way, man.’
‘Is he in there? The pharmacist?’
‘He’s with someone, innit.’ She leans towards me and makes her eyes slitty. ‘What did theys look like?’
That’s an original question. I’ll give her that.
‘I don’t really know. Young probably, because they were running fast. Two blokes, not that tall. Only saw them from behind. They both had their hoods up.’
‘What they take?’
‘Oh, just my bag. A big purple bag from Primark. Do you know how long he’ll be?’
‘Nah. Shit innit.’
‘Yep. Yep, it is.’
‘Wheres on the Harrow Road?’
‘Up by the late-night pharmacy.’
She gasps. ‘Were youse getting the morning-after pill and theys take your bag?’
‘Yep.’
‘That is so shit.’
‘Yep.’
‘Shit. I’m not supposed to but—’
She pulls a bag of pick-and-mix out from under the desk and offers it to me. I accept, reach in and pull out a wiggly worm. Result.
‘Thanks.’ I smile.
‘I hope it wasn’t my brother,’ she says, and she’s serious.
I don’t have a brother, let alone one who might be a mugger, so I don’t really know what to say. I make an eek face and hope it will do.
‘Your boyfriend’s lush, innit,’ she says.
‘I love wiggly worms,’ I say, then I chomp off his head. The worm’s obviously, not Danny’s.
The chemist walks out of his Tardis with a middle-aged woman. They both spot me and the lady walks to the counter as I make my way towards the chemist.
‘We’ve met recently,’ he says, as though trying to place me, and leads me into the Tablet Tardis.
‘Yes, I came in on Saturday to get the morning-after pill, but I didn’t have any money, and then my boyfriend came in later but you wouldn’t give it to him.’
‘But you’ve had an accident since then.’
‘Yes, I was mugged.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘It’s OK.’
‘So when did you have unprotected sex?’
‘Saturday morning.’
‘Have you had sex since then?’
‘He’d be so lucky.’
‘And your last period?’
‘Two weeks ago.’
‘Oh, that’s right.’ Now he pulls an eek face. They really are very handy. ‘You’re in a fertile time of the month and it’s been more than two days since the incident occurred. Emergency contraceptive isn’t a hundred per cent effective anyway, so I must warn you … there is a small chance that, even if you take this, there could still be a pregnancy.’
‘Yes. Thank you.’
‘We have pregnancy tests here if you’re very late or if you feel … in anyway different or at all pregnant. OK, here’s the pill. Just pay Tara outside. Do you have money today?’ I’m learning that people are very nice to you when you have a scabby face.
‘Yes,’ I nod, feeling the thirty quid that Wendy lent me in my pocket.
I walk slower than usual towards Tara. For some reason I feel worried that another freak incident will happen to stop me buying the pill, but I manage to pay her and leave Sainsbury’s without either dropping the packet down a hole, a bird swooping down and flying off with it, being mown down by a shopping trolley or hit by a meteor.
‘Thank God for that,’ I mutter as I settle safely inside mycar and lock the doors. I open the packet and knock the pill back with some water from a bottle under the seat.
‘Please, Dad, God, Allah, Buddha and the tooth fairy, I am most definitely not ready to have a baby yet. Please don’t let me be pregnant,’ I say aloud, and it may sound odd, but I feel quite confident that they heard me.
After two weeks of constantly checking whether I felt ‘in any way different or at all pregnant’, I am absolutely thrilled to say that, apart from the scab on my face, the posh bloke ruining my life, my broke mother and my father’s grave possibly being dug up and tarmacked over, I feel perfectly normal. Oh, except that Danny is being very weird
‘I was mugged.’
‘Shit, man. Where?’
‘Harrow Road.’
I should get it printed on a card or T-shirt really.
‘No way, man.’
‘Is he in there? The pharmacist?’
‘He’s with someone, innit.’ She leans towards me and makes her eyes slitty. ‘What did theys look like?’
That’s an original question. I’ll give her that.
‘I don’t really know. Young probably, because they were running fast. Two blokes, not that tall. Only saw them from behind. They both had their hoods up.’
‘What they take?’
‘Oh, just my bag. A big purple bag from Primark. Do you know how long he’ll be?’
‘Nah. Shit innit.’
‘Yep. Yep, it is.’
‘Wheres on the Harrow Road?’
‘Up by the late-night pharmacy.’
She gasps. ‘Were youse getting the morning-after pill and theys take your bag?’
‘Yep.’
‘That is so shit.’
‘Yep.’
‘Shit. I’m not supposed to but—’
She pulls a bag of pick-and-mix out from under the desk and offers it to me. I accept, reach in and pull out a wiggly worm. Result.
‘Thanks.’ I smile.
‘I hope it wasn’t my brother,’ she says, and she’s serious.
I don’t have a brother, let alone one who might be a mugger, so I don’t really know what to say. I make an eek face and hope it will do.
‘Your boyfriend’s lush, innit,’ she says.
‘I love wiggly worms,’ I say, then I chomp off his head. The worm’s obviously, not Danny’s.
The chemist walks out of his Tardis with a middle-aged woman. They both spot me and the lady walks to the counter as I make my way towards the chemist.
‘We’ve met recently,’ he says, as though trying to place me, and leads me into the Tablet Tardis.
‘Yes, I came in on Saturday to get the morning-after pill, but I didn’t have any money, and then my boyfriend came in later but you wouldn’t give it to him.’
‘But you’ve had an accident since then.’
‘Yes, I was mugged.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘It’s OK.’
‘So when did you have unprotected sex?’
‘Saturday morning.’
‘Have you had sex since then?’
‘He’d be so lucky.’
‘And your last period?’
‘Two weeks ago.’
‘Oh, that’s right.’ Now he pulls an eek face. They really are very handy. ‘You’re in a fertile time of the month and it’s been more than two days since the incident occurred. Emergency contraceptive isn’t a hundred per cent effective anyway, so I must warn you … there is a small chance that, even if you take this, there could still be a pregnancy.’
‘Yes. Thank you.’
‘We have pregnancy tests here if you’re very late or if you feel … in anyway different or at all pregnant. OK, here’s the pill. Just pay Tara outside. Do you have money today?’ I’m learning that people are very nice to you when you have a scabby face.
‘Yes,’ I nod, feeling the thirty quid that Wendy lent me in my pocket.
I walk slower than usual towards Tara. For some reason I feel worried that another freak incident will happen to stop me buying the pill, but I manage to pay her and leave Sainsbury’s without either dropping the packet down a hole, a bird swooping down and flying off with it, being mown down by a shopping trolley or hit by a meteor.
‘Thank God for that,’ I mutter as I settle safely inside mycar and lock the doors. I open the packet and knock the pill back with some water from a bottle under the seat.
‘Please, Dad, God, Allah, Buddha and the tooth fairy, I am most definitely not ready to have a baby yet. Please don’t let me be pregnant,’ I say aloud, and it may sound odd, but I feel quite confident that they heard me.
After two weeks of constantly checking whether I felt ‘in any way different or at all pregnant’, I am absolutely thrilled to say that, apart from the scab on my face, the posh bloke ruining my life, my broke mother and my father’s grave possibly being dug up and tarmacked over, I feel perfectly normal. Oh, except that Danny is being very weird
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