was worth more to him as a centerfold model than a porn star. But it didn't matter. My time had run out.
Needing the cash, I agreed. North told me it was a soft-core porn film for cable. I was hired to walk around looking pretty, and was asked to bring several bikinis and a selection of high heels. Stopping by the liquor store on the way there, I stashed a couple cans of premixed vodka and orange juice in my backpack for courage.
The movie was being filmed in a mansion deep in the San Fernando Valley. When I arrived on the set early, I couldn't find anyone who knew where I was supposed to go. I was told I
should look for Richard, the director, who would tell me what to do. Continuing my search up the stairs, I crossed paths with several half-naked girls with very large breasts. They were laughing and seemed to be having a good time. I thought this was a good sign and continued along the hallway feeling more at ease.
I'd sat in traffic for almost two hours and I had to pee like a racehorse. Pleased to find a bathroom in the direction of the noise I was following, I walked in and was greeted with what looked like the hygiene aisle at the drugstore. There were condoms, jellies, foam, and douches of every flavor on the counter. An empty beer bottle sat in the sink and from the smell in there, someone had been smoking pot.
I relaxed even more. These people were just having a good time, partying and hanging out. As for all the products, I guessed someone had serious hygiene issues. I was a bit creeped out by that, but I put it out of my mind and laughed at my lack of experience with such things. A guttural moaning coming from somewhere down the hall startled me.
Again following the noise, I found my director behind a camera watching a woman having sex with two guys. Blushing, I gawked at them. I had never seen anyone have sex before, and it was so aggressive, so primal the way this woman moaned that it scared the crap out of me.
Oh my God, is that what they expect me to do!?
I turned and ran down the hall to the front door. I knew exactly what kind of movie this was now—and I wasn't having it.
I tore out of the parking lot and was gone before anyone knew I'd arrived. I called North from a pay phone a few blocks away screaming at him for lying to me. He told me to "grow up," pissed that I had left and saying I'd make him look bad. If I wanted to ever work again I'd better get my butt back there and apologize for being late. I hung up on him and sat in my car downing vodka and of at eight-something in the morning. I knew I had to go back.
Where else would I go? What else could I do?
I tried to imagine what having sex on-camera would be like, but I couldn't even fathom it. I decided I'd just go back, at least apologize for quitting, and hope that North would still keep me on as a model.
By the time I arrived back at the house, I had a good buzz on and was feeling braver. This time everyone was waiting for me. I was rushed off to makeup where the director greeted me. I started to ask questions, but he interrupted me, telling me not to worry. All I had to do was walk around the pool in my bikini during the party scene. I searched his face to see if he was tricking me, but he seemed serious.
I felt better instantly. I'd gotten worked up over nothing and damn near ruined everything!
Sitting quietly having my face painted, I was glad I'd come back. Several women and a few men were wandering around, and every once in a while someone would pop in and say hello to me. When it came time for my scene I did just what Richard had said. I strutted around the pool in my tiny bikini as the scene was filmed from a bunch of different angles.
The next day during the final take of the party scene, all the people around the pool spent the afternoon having sex. As the orgy started I was told I was finished for the day and could go home. Collecting my things, I made a pit stop at the kitchen to get a drink.
The image of all those breasts and
Needing the cash, I agreed. North told me it was a soft-core porn film for cable. I was hired to walk around looking pretty, and was asked to bring several bikinis and a selection of high heels. Stopping by the liquor store on the way there, I stashed a couple cans of premixed vodka and orange juice in my backpack for courage.
The movie was being filmed in a mansion deep in the San Fernando Valley. When I arrived on the set early, I couldn't find anyone who knew where I was supposed to go. I was told I
should look for Richard, the director, who would tell me what to do. Continuing my search up the stairs, I crossed paths with several half-naked girls with very large breasts. They were laughing and seemed to be having a good time. I thought this was a good sign and continued along the hallway feeling more at ease.
I'd sat in traffic for almost two hours and I had to pee like a racehorse. Pleased to find a bathroom in the direction of the noise I was following, I walked in and was greeted with what looked like the hygiene aisle at the drugstore. There were condoms, jellies, foam, and douches of every flavor on the counter. An empty beer bottle sat in the sink and from the smell in there, someone had been smoking pot.
I relaxed even more. These people were just having a good time, partying and hanging out. As for all the products, I guessed someone had serious hygiene issues. I was a bit creeped out by that, but I put it out of my mind and laughed at my lack of experience with such things. A guttural moaning coming from somewhere down the hall startled me.
Again following the noise, I found my director behind a camera watching a woman having sex with two guys. Blushing, I gawked at them. I had never seen anyone have sex before, and it was so aggressive, so primal the way this woman moaned that it scared the crap out of me.
Oh my God, is that what they expect me to do!?
I turned and ran down the hall to the front door. I knew exactly what kind of movie this was now—and I wasn't having it.
I tore out of the parking lot and was gone before anyone knew I'd arrived. I called North from a pay phone a few blocks away screaming at him for lying to me. He told me to "grow up," pissed that I had left and saying I'd make him look bad. If I wanted to ever work again I'd better get my butt back there and apologize for being late. I hung up on him and sat in my car downing vodka and of at eight-something in the morning. I knew I had to go back.
Where else would I go? What else could I do?
I tried to imagine what having sex on-camera would be like, but I couldn't even fathom it. I decided I'd just go back, at least apologize for quitting, and hope that North would still keep me on as a model.
By the time I arrived back at the house, I had a good buzz on and was feeling braver. This time everyone was waiting for me. I was rushed off to makeup where the director greeted me. I started to ask questions, but he interrupted me, telling me not to worry. All I had to do was walk around the pool in my bikini during the party scene. I searched his face to see if he was tricking me, but he seemed serious.
I felt better instantly. I'd gotten worked up over nothing and damn near ruined everything!
Sitting quietly having my face painted, I was glad I'd come back. Several women and a few men were wandering around, and every once in a while someone would pop in and say hello to me. When it came time for my scene I did just what Richard had said. I strutted around the pool in my tiny bikini as the scene was filmed from a bunch of different angles.
The next day during the final take of the party scene, all the people around the pool spent the afternoon having sex. As the orgy started I was told I was finished for the day and could go home. Collecting my things, I made a pit stop at the kitchen to get a drink.
The image of all those breasts and
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