can’t.”
He reached across the table and took her hand in his, rubbing his thumb across the back of her knuckles. “Why?”
“Because I liked you before we—” She looked around. “Before we slept together. But if I…if I start liking you more now, how do I know it’s not just because I’m having your baby, which is scary, and it’s easier to let you take care of me?”
Rather than open his mouth and say something stupid, Kevin kept it zipped while he tried to come up with the right thing. Thankfully the waitress bought him an extra few minutes by delivering their plates and promising to come right back with the coffee pot.
When she was gone, he talked while they fixed their coffees. “So you’re afraid you’re more attracted to having somebody to lean on than the person who’s willing to be leaned on?”
“I guess you could put it that way. I’m just afraid if I get too used to leaning on you and you decide to walk away, I’ll…fall over, I guess. And that scares me because the one thing I’ve never needed is somebody to depend on.
“And I’m afraid I’ll hurt you, too. My parents…they’re great, but they stifled me. So I move around and, when I reach the point in relationships people start keeping tabs on me and making decisions for me, I get on a bus to someplace new. But I can’t do that this time.”
The key to getting through this conversation, he figured, was making sure he kept food in his mouth so the chewing could keep buying him time to think. He’d had sticky making up and/or breaking up conversations with women before, but this was a first for him. This was the first relationship he’d ever had he couldn’t make a clean break from and that made it sticky. No matter how badly they hurt each other or pissed each other off, they’d never be able to make a clean break. The baby bound them together forever and that put a shitload of pressure on the conversation at hand.
“Tell me you won’t just disappear,” he finally said. “If you decide to take off, at least call me first. I don’t want to wake up some day to find you gone.”
“I wouldn’t do that to you, Kevin.” Tears made her eyes sparkle for a moment, but she blinked them back. “Just staying here is a big adjustment for me, and being pregnant. I think a serious relationship might be too much on top of it and I’m afraid, if we hook up and it goes wrong, it’ll be ugly and that’s not what I want for our child.”
“When it comes to the baby, I won’t ever walk away. Even if things go south between us, you will never have to worry about feeding that baby or buying it medicine or clothes or anything else it needs. I can promise you that.”
He watched her chest rise and fall as she took a deep breath. “I believe that.”
“As for us…I don’t know, Beth. I can’t promise I’m your Mr. Right. I like you and I’d definitely been thinking about a second date. I guess you probably weren’t, since you snuck out in the middle of the night, but—”
“I liked you, too. And it was morning, not the middle of the night. But I got the impression you were done with me, so—”
“I explained that to you. I was half-asleep. Hell, more than half. I’d planned to take you out for breakfast and everything. But I’ve already told you that and apologized for it.”
“I wasn’t trying to accuse you again. Just explaining why I didn’t think we were heading for a second date.”
“Okay. But anyway, I wasn’t trying to trample your personal boundaries by buying you a cellphone. I was just trying to make your life a little easier and buy myself some peace of mind. I swear, it wasn’t some nefarious plot to become the evil overlord of your life.”
She blushed, nibbling on a slice of toast in a way that made him think she was also using the food as delay tactic. “I overreacted to the cellphone. Badly. I panicked, hearing you say family plan because we’re not. A family, I mean. We’re neighbors
He reached across the table and took her hand in his, rubbing his thumb across the back of her knuckles. “Why?”
“Because I liked you before we—” She looked around. “Before we slept together. But if I…if I start liking you more now, how do I know it’s not just because I’m having your baby, which is scary, and it’s easier to let you take care of me?”
Rather than open his mouth and say something stupid, Kevin kept it zipped while he tried to come up with the right thing. Thankfully the waitress bought him an extra few minutes by delivering their plates and promising to come right back with the coffee pot.
When she was gone, he talked while they fixed their coffees. “So you’re afraid you’re more attracted to having somebody to lean on than the person who’s willing to be leaned on?”
“I guess you could put it that way. I’m just afraid if I get too used to leaning on you and you decide to walk away, I’ll…fall over, I guess. And that scares me because the one thing I’ve never needed is somebody to depend on.
“And I’m afraid I’ll hurt you, too. My parents…they’re great, but they stifled me. So I move around and, when I reach the point in relationships people start keeping tabs on me and making decisions for me, I get on a bus to someplace new. But I can’t do that this time.”
The key to getting through this conversation, he figured, was making sure he kept food in his mouth so the chewing could keep buying him time to think. He’d had sticky making up and/or breaking up conversations with women before, but this was a first for him. This was the first relationship he’d ever had he couldn’t make a clean break from and that made it sticky. No matter how badly they hurt each other or pissed each other off, they’d never be able to make a clean break. The baby bound them together forever and that put a shitload of pressure on the conversation at hand.
“Tell me you won’t just disappear,” he finally said. “If you decide to take off, at least call me first. I don’t want to wake up some day to find you gone.”
“I wouldn’t do that to you, Kevin.” Tears made her eyes sparkle for a moment, but she blinked them back. “Just staying here is a big adjustment for me, and being pregnant. I think a serious relationship might be too much on top of it and I’m afraid, if we hook up and it goes wrong, it’ll be ugly and that’s not what I want for our child.”
“When it comes to the baby, I won’t ever walk away. Even if things go south between us, you will never have to worry about feeding that baby or buying it medicine or clothes or anything else it needs. I can promise you that.”
He watched her chest rise and fall as she took a deep breath. “I believe that.”
“As for us…I don’t know, Beth. I can’t promise I’m your Mr. Right. I like you and I’d definitely been thinking about a second date. I guess you probably weren’t, since you snuck out in the middle of the night, but—”
“I liked you, too. And it was morning, not the middle of the night. But I got the impression you were done with me, so—”
“I explained that to you. I was half-asleep. Hell, more than half. I’d planned to take you out for breakfast and everything. But I’ve already told you that and apologized for it.”
“I wasn’t trying to accuse you again. Just explaining why I didn’t think we were heading for a second date.”
“Okay. But anyway, I wasn’t trying to trample your personal boundaries by buying you a cellphone. I was just trying to make your life a little easier and buy myself some peace of mind. I swear, it wasn’t some nefarious plot to become the evil overlord of your life.”
She blushed, nibbling on a slice of toast in a way that made him think she was also using the food as delay tactic. “I overreacted to the cellphone. Badly. I panicked, hearing you say family plan because we’re not. A family, I mean. We’re neighbors
Similar Books
