looks back down to where his hand is moving tenderly across my knees. “Do you not have any feelings for me?” He asks in an excruciating tone. It’s heartbreaking to hear and it makes me want to lie to fix this immediately. Tell him anything to get that look off his face and that devastating tone out of his voice.
I know that I do feel for Riley , but not in the manner that he would have it. We never said it to anyone not even to each other, but we have always been friends in our own way. My only friend outside of my brother. Looking back on my life he has always been there for me and acknowledging that now has me breathless. “Say something,” he pleads in that same tone, but his eyes are on me now. I don’t know I’m crying until his fingers come up and gently wipe them off my cheek before they have a chance to fall.
“I do have feelings for you ,” I admit.
The anguish in his face loosens making it easier for me to breathe. “Then I can work with that ,” he says placing his forehead onto my hands. “Thank you,” he says like he hasn’t been able to breathe and I just gave it to him. It’s too much for me at this moment. To have someone place all their happiness onto you is unhealthy for both.
“But he was right that I can’t give you what you want or need,” I add and I feel his hands tighten slightly.
“I don’t care what he says Gemma, only what you feel or say is what matters to me. If you need more time it’s yours, whatever you want you can have. I just need you, please don’t leave me, not now.” He pleads and I don’t have to heart to say no nor do I want to sign his death warrant.
“I’m not going anywhere ,” I say holding him too me. With him pressed this close to me I can feel his heart beat so hard against me. Taking a deep breath I know I have just dug a deeper hole for myself.
Chapter 15
I end up spending the rest of the night with Riley. After I held him to me for longer then I imagined, he lifted me up laying me on top of his bed. Every time I tried to move he would hold me just that much closer to him making it so that now it has become physically uncomfortable. We haven’t spoken since and he has made no moves on me except just holding me to him with my back to his chest. Whenever it seems that he is finally asleep I try to wiggle out of his grasp just to have him wake every time. I can feel every breath he takes in and out as the warmth of it hits my neck. His arms are wrapped fully around me while one his legs drapes over mine. Exhaustion from the day hits me hard and I have to fight with my own eyes as I let go.
~*~
The most annoying alarm clock ever screeches filling me with panic making me toss the sweaty arm off me. “Shit Gemma.” Riley voice rasps as he rolls over onto his back slapping his alarm clock in the movement. I know that at this moment my eyes must be huge and my face is drained of all color. I’m in Riley’s room, in his bed, with both is chest and arms on me. Without thinking I pat myself down for my clothes and relief floods me. I know I was desperate last night and I can feel that part of that has still lingered on to this morning.
Riley rolls back onto his side and lets his hot arm wrap back around my waist. “You can stay here if you want, you have the day off .” He says starting to rub circles into my hip bone then adding gentle pressure.
“You trust me not to go through your stuff?” I say laughing a little.
“I trust you more then you know and with the thing I value most.”
“And what is the thing you value most and you better not say-”
He cuts me off taking my hand and placing it over his heart that beats gently under my palm. “My heart, I trust it with no other,” he says kissing my cheek then rolling out of the bed.
Crap! I feel for him. It’s not like how I feel for Beau , but I feel for him. Maybe that isn’t such a bad thing. I could never truly be with Beau without hurting
I know that I do feel for Riley , but not in the manner that he would have it. We never said it to anyone not even to each other, but we have always been friends in our own way. My only friend outside of my brother. Looking back on my life he has always been there for me and acknowledging that now has me breathless. “Say something,” he pleads in that same tone, but his eyes are on me now. I don’t know I’m crying until his fingers come up and gently wipe them off my cheek before they have a chance to fall.
“I do have feelings for you ,” I admit.
The anguish in his face loosens making it easier for me to breathe. “Then I can work with that ,” he says placing his forehead onto my hands. “Thank you,” he says like he hasn’t been able to breathe and I just gave it to him. It’s too much for me at this moment. To have someone place all their happiness onto you is unhealthy for both.
“But he was right that I can’t give you what you want or need,” I add and I feel his hands tighten slightly.
“I don’t care what he says Gemma, only what you feel or say is what matters to me. If you need more time it’s yours, whatever you want you can have. I just need you, please don’t leave me, not now.” He pleads and I don’t have to heart to say no nor do I want to sign his death warrant.
“I’m not going anywhere ,” I say holding him too me. With him pressed this close to me I can feel his heart beat so hard against me. Taking a deep breath I know I have just dug a deeper hole for myself.
Chapter 15
I end up spending the rest of the night with Riley. After I held him to me for longer then I imagined, he lifted me up laying me on top of his bed. Every time I tried to move he would hold me just that much closer to him making it so that now it has become physically uncomfortable. We haven’t spoken since and he has made no moves on me except just holding me to him with my back to his chest. Whenever it seems that he is finally asleep I try to wiggle out of his grasp just to have him wake every time. I can feel every breath he takes in and out as the warmth of it hits my neck. His arms are wrapped fully around me while one his legs drapes over mine. Exhaustion from the day hits me hard and I have to fight with my own eyes as I let go.
~*~
The most annoying alarm clock ever screeches filling me with panic making me toss the sweaty arm off me. “Shit Gemma.” Riley voice rasps as he rolls over onto his back slapping his alarm clock in the movement. I know that at this moment my eyes must be huge and my face is drained of all color. I’m in Riley’s room, in his bed, with both is chest and arms on me. Without thinking I pat myself down for my clothes and relief floods me. I know I was desperate last night and I can feel that part of that has still lingered on to this morning.
Riley rolls back onto his side and lets his hot arm wrap back around my waist. “You can stay here if you want, you have the day off .” He says starting to rub circles into my hip bone then adding gentle pressure.
“You trust me not to go through your stuff?” I say laughing a little.
“I trust you more then you know and with the thing I value most.”
“And what is the thing you value most and you better not say-”
He cuts me off taking my hand and placing it over his heart that beats gently under my palm. “My heart, I trust it with no other,” he says kissing my cheek then rolling out of the bed.
Crap! I feel for him. It’s not like how I feel for Beau , but I feel for him. Maybe that isn’t such a bad thing. I could never truly be with Beau without hurting
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