Undead to the World by DD Barant Page A

point. It’s a little undefined for my tastes, but I’m getting the feeling
     that’s how magic works—it’s always a little fuzzy around the edges. “So as long as
     the Gallowsman hangs around—sorry—the cult does a happy dance and never rolls snake
     eyes. Not great for anyone hunting them, right? And speaking of which, what does any of this have to do with me ?”
    I didn’t really intend to raise my voice like that, but I’m a little surprised at
     Cassiar’s reaction. He looks … sad.
    “Summoning an otherworldly entity always requires a sacrifice, but in the case of
     the Gallowsman, it’s a little different. He’s drawn to pain—emotional torment. From
     what I’ve been able to find out, you’re supposed to be the source of that torment.”
    Well, that would explain the pictures. “So they’re planning on using me as bait? Torture
     me and wait for the Gallowsman to show up?”
    “I believe so, yes.”
    “Well then, I guess you don’t have all the answers after all, Mr. Cassiar. Because
     unless our local pastor managed to hang himself from the eaves of a three-story building
     without a window or a ladder, the Gallowsman is already here. You were right about one thing, though—he didn’t come alone. You want to meet a genuine,
     unalive vampire? Keep your eyes out for our local greengrocer, Jimmy Zhang—he’s suddenly
     developed a real sweet tooth. If, you know, by sweet you mean blood and by tooth you
     mean teeth. And while none have actually shown up yet, I have it on good authority
     that the lupine contingent are going to be putting in an appearance, too.”
    I’m a little out of breath by the end, but once I started I couldn’t stop. It was
     like I had this bizarre need to prove myself to him, as if we were comparing schizophrenic
     stories and mine just had to be crazier.
    He regards me calmly. He looks more thoughtful than worried. “I see,” he says at last.
     “It seems I’ve miscalculated the timing. Things are further along than I thought.”
    “You think?”
    “Jace,” Charlie says. “Calm down. What we’ve got to do is figure out how to handle
     this.”
    “Handle? Handle? We’ve got a demon with a rope fetish, a murderous cult, and half
     the cast of a horror movie, all inside the city limits of a town you can walk across
     in twenty minutes! And that’s if you stop and talk to all the people you know along the way, only you won’t because
     they might eat you! ”
    “Your friend Charlie is right, Jace. We need to find a way to quietly contain the
     situation—”
    “Quiet? No, no, no. Quiet time is over . Now is wide-awake, the house is on fire and we need to do something time.”
    Charlie gives Cassiar a glance he thinks I don’t notice. I do, but I don’t bother
     responding. “You know what this is? This is that moment in the movie or book or comic
     where the good guys screw everything up. This is where they decide to take on the
     monster all by themselves. Well, sorry, but no goddamn way. We call in the authorities.
     We get lots of people with lots of equipment—giant crucifixes, automatic weapons loaded
     with silver bullets, all the garlic they can carry—and we blitz the whole town. Spotlights,
     teams of at least six, and nobody ever, ever, ever goes off on their own—”
    “Jace,” Charlie says gently. “This is a small town in the middle of nowhere. We’ve
     got a sheriff and one part-time deputy. We might be able to rustle up some guns, but
     we don’t have any silver bullets or the know-how to make them.”
    “We’ll ask the Internet! It knows everything !”
    Charlie sighs. “Okay, sure. But how long is that going to take? Where are we going
     to get the equipment we’ll need? You have a metal foundry in your basement you’re
     not telling me about?”
    I’m starting to run out of steam. “No. But—”
    “The only people that are going to believe you are the ones who already know the truth.
     And they’ll be the first