suffered enough and I have a life now. I am stronger. I am a better person because of what happened.”
“No, Lizzie. You aren’t over it. You won’t even talk to me about it. Dammit, I had to go into town just to find out something about you that you should have told me,” he said.
“Is that why you go to Conner’s shows and don’t tell me about it?” I asked. “Why do you go behind my back or for that matter, why search for things about me I don’t necessarily want you to know?”
He stood silent for a moment and looked down at the floor.
“I have feelings, Lizzie,” he said. “I can’t stop these feelings I have for you. I want to know you. I ask your brother because he loves you so much. But I need to… I just want to know if you might feel the same way about…me.”
I shook my head.
“Nick,” I whispered. “I have feelings for you. I like you and I love being with you. God, I don’t let any man come near my son.” I pointed towards Niall’s room and my hand fell to my side. “If you knew how fucking broken I am, you would never ever want feelings for me. You need to understand. I have nothing to give any man other than friendship because I cannot have my heart broken ever again. It tore me apart and I am finally piecing everything back together and if you… if you hurt me.” I shook my head and sighed. “I don’t want to lose you as a friend but I can’t go there with you because I could be…in…in...I just can’t go there again,” I said, my eyes watering up.
Before I could say another word, Nick was on me. His mouth covered mine and he moaned as he took my lips into his mouth. It was gentle and passionate. I opened my mouth with a whimper and he slipped his tongue to touch mine. I melted. His mouth was attentive and soft. It was a lovely and generous kiss and I wanted more. I was surrounded by his gorgeous smell, his hard body, and his security. We wrapped our arms around each other and he pushed me up against the kitchen counter. I felt his hands come up to the bottom of my neck and his thumb moved up and down, like a gentle caress. It was beautiful. I felt beautiful. We kissed for five seconds, five hours or five days. Time didn’t exist. Nick and I were kissing like we knew each other’s mouths, our lips, our bodies. His hands started up my shirt and I felt warm under his touch. It was gentle and soft. We felt so right.
Niall let out a small cry from his crib and the moment froze. We both froze. I pulled back and looked into his eyes. I stood shocked, unable to move away from Nick, unable to move towards Niall. I just told Nick I could or I do have feelings. I told him that I couldn’t get involved. I told him I would never get hurt again.
“Lizzie that was by far the best first kiss I have ever had. I need you, sweetheart. I want you so badly, sometimes it hurts to just be around you,” he whispered. A steely resolve came over me and I felt the ice crawl back up into my heart. Nick would not hurt me as long as I kept him at a distance.
“You should go get ready for your date with Anna,” I said flatly. Nick gaped at me as I pulled away from his embrace. I saw his fists clench at his side as his lips transformed into a tight line. I walked into Niall’s room and pulled my baby boy up into my arms. I felt Nick zeroing his gaze into my back behind me in the doorway. Niall smiled up to Nick and I was crushed.
“Lizzie,” he whispered. I could hear the heartbreak in his whisper. I shook my head and wiped the tears falling down my face. I couldn’t look at him. I didn’t want him to see my tears. As I started to change Niall, I felt the moment Nick left the doorway. All the air left the room and I was alone. Minutes later, I heard the front door latch snap closed. I pursed my lips and shook my head. That was the biggest cluster fuck and it changed everything. If only I could rewind time back twenty-four hours.
THIRTEEN
By Monday morning, I hadn’t heard
“No, Lizzie. You aren’t over it. You won’t even talk to me about it. Dammit, I had to go into town just to find out something about you that you should have told me,” he said.
“Is that why you go to Conner’s shows and don’t tell me about it?” I asked. “Why do you go behind my back or for that matter, why search for things about me I don’t necessarily want you to know?”
He stood silent for a moment and looked down at the floor.
“I have feelings, Lizzie,” he said. “I can’t stop these feelings I have for you. I want to know you. I ask your brother because he loves you so much. But I need to… I just want to know if you might feel the same way about…me.”
I shook my head.
“Nick,” I whispered. “I have feelings for you. I like you and I love being with you. God, I don’t let any man come near my son.” I pointed towards Niall’s room and my hand fell to my side. “If you knew how fucking broken I am, you would never ever want feelings for me. You need to understand. I have nothing to give any man other than friendship because I cannot have my heart broken ever again. It tore me apart and I am finally piecing everything back together and if you… if you hurt me.” I shook my head and sighed. “I don’t want to lose you as a friend but I can’t go there with you because I could be…in…in...I just can’t go there again,” I said, my eyes watering up.
Before I could say another word, Nick was on me. His mouth covered mine and he moaned as he took my lips into his mouth. It was gentle and passionate. I opened my mouth with a whimper and he slipped his tongue to touch mine. I melted. His mouth was attentive and soft. It was a lovely and generous kiss and I wanted more. I was surrounded by his gorgeous smell, his hard body, and his security. We wrapped our arms around each other and he pushed me up against the kitchen counter. I felt his hands come up to the bottom of my neck and his thumb moved up and down, like a gentle caress. It was beautiful. I felt beautiful. We kissed for five seconds, five hours or five days. Time didn’t exist. Nick and I were kissing like we knew each other’s mouths, our lips, our bodies. His hands started up my shirt and I felt warm under his touch. It was gentle and soft. We felt so right.
Niall let out a small cry from his crib and the moment froze. We both froze. I pulled back and looked into his eyes. I stood shocked, unable to move away from Nick, unable to move towards Niall. I just told Nick I could or I do have feelings. I told him that I couldn’t get involved. I told him I would never get hurt again.
“Lizzie that was by far the best first kiss I have ever had. I need you, sweetheart. I want you so badly, sometimes it hurts to just be around you,” he whispered. A steely resolve came over me and I felt the ice crawl back up into my heart. Nick would not hurt me as long as I kept him at a distance.
“You should go get ready for your date with Anna,” I said flatly. Nick gaped at me as I pulled away from his embrace. I saw his fists clench at his side as his lips transformed into a tight line. I walked into Niall’s room and pulled my baby boy up into my arms. I felt Nick zeroing his gaze into my back behind me in the doorway. Niall smiled up to Nick and I was crushed.
“Lizzie,” he whispered. I could hear the heartbreak in his whisper. I shook my head and wiped the tears falling down my face. I couldn’t look at him. I didn’t want him to see my tears. As I started to change Niall, I felt the moment Nick left the doorway. All the air left the room and I was alone. Minutes later, I heard the front door latch snap closed. I pursed my lips and shook my head. That was the biggest cluster fuck and it changed everything. If only I could rewind time back twenty-four hours.
THIRTEEN
By Monday morning, I hadn’t heard
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