but it was his son who was in his heart at that moment. There was nothing quite like the love of a child, or the empty ache when his arms no longer went around your neck in eager confirmation of the most spontaneous, uncalculating love of all. If he could have told her his thoughts, they might have drawn close on common ground, but as always, at such moments his tongue seemed to be chained.
Suddenly she smiled at him, and there was a confidence and contentment in that smile that filled him with dread. To fail her now would be the most terrible thing in the world. “Don’t build your hopes up,” he said. “There are still a lot of hard things ahead of you, and you’re going to need all your courage.”
“But it can be done, can’t it?” she asked eagerly. “I can get Tommy back, can’t I?”
He had no idea, but he wasn’t strong enough to destroy the fragile hope that was keeping her going. “We can do it,” he said at last. “Somehow...we’re going to do it.” He brushed the hair away from her forehead and took her face between his hands. Now, he knew, was the moment to tell her the worst. The words struggled on the edge of his tongue, until at last... “We’ll find a way,” he said gently. “Trust me.”
He despised himself as a coward, but he couldn’t help it.
* * *
They found the school the next morning and waited in Daniel’s car, their eyes on the entrance, but it was soon obvious that this would be useless. All they could see was a set of wrought-iron gates through which cars swept every few minutes. There was no hope of recognizing Tommy. Megan stayed calm but her face was dreadfully pale. “Wait here,” Daniel told her.
He was gone half an hour, and when he came back, he said, “I’ve been looking at the playing fields right around the back. There’s a wire fence where we can get a good view.”
They took up position outside the fence and waited for three hours. During all that time Megan scarcely moved. Her hands rested on the wire, and every time a class appeared for games, they clenched slightly, then relaxed when there was no sign of Tommy. “Perhaps it wasn’t such a good idea, after all,” Daniel said. “He may not have a games period today. Let’s go.”
“You go,” she said, not taking her eyes from the field. “I’ll stay awhile.”
“Well, perhaps I’ll stay awhile, too,” he said casually.
She didn’t hear him. Her hands tightened on the wire and he heard her inhale her breath sharply. A crowd of little boys had appeared on the far side of the playing fields, and Megan’s eyes were fixed on one of them. “That’s him,” she whispered. “That’s Tommy.”
Frowning, Daniel tried to get a better view. At first glance the distance made all the boys look alike. Then he realized that Megan’s instinct hadn’t erred. After three years, during which Tommy’s appearance must have changed, her mother’s heart had chosen him at once.
“Surely they’ll come a little closer,” he murmured, trying to make it happen by sheer force of will. It seemed monstrously cruel that she should have kept so patient and heartbreaking a vigil and have it rewarded in this meager fashion. But soon he realized that the class had settled at the far end of the field, and wouldn’t be coming any nearer. Megan didn’t speak. Her eyes were fixed on Tommy with a look more piteous than tears, and she never moved them for the next half hour.
And then it was time for the children to go. They began to leave the field, laughing and fooling with each other, eager to get back to a shower and a change of clothes.
All except one.
A little boy had paused, staring down the field at the wire fence. He was totally still, as still as the woman who looked back at him, and their eyes met over the long distance. For a moment it seemed as if he would run toward her, but then the teacher noticed him lagging behind and called him. The next moment he was gone with the rest.
Still Megan didn’t
Suddenly she smiled at him, and there was a confidence and contentment in that smile that filled him with dread. To fail her now would be the most terrible thing in the world. “Don’t build your hopes up,” he said. “There are still a lot of hard things ahead of you, and you’re going to need all your courage.”
“But it can be done, can’t it?” she asked eagerly. “I can get Tommy back, can’t I?”
He had no idea, but he wasn’t strong enough to destroy the fragile hope that was keeping her going. “We can do it,” he said at last. “Somehow...we’re going to do it.” He brushed the hair away from her forehead and took her face between his hands. Now, he knew, was the moment to tell her the worst. The words struggled on the edge of his tongue, until at last... “We’ll find a way,” he said gently. “Trust me.”
He despised himself as a coward, but he couldn’t help it.
* * *
They found the school the next morning and waited in Daniel’s car, their eyes on the entrance, but it was soon obvious that this would be useless. All they could see was a set of wrought-iron gates through which cars swept every few minutes. There was no hope of recognizing Tommy. Megan stayed calm but her face was dreadfully pale. “Wait here,” Daniel told her.
He was gone half an hour, and when he came back, he said, “I’ve been looking at the playing fields right around the back. There’s a wire fence where we can get a good view.”
They took up position outside the fence and waited for three hours. During all that time Megan scarcely moved. Her hands rested on the wire, and every time a class appeared for games, they clenched slightly, then relaxed when there was no sign of Tommy. “Perhaps it wasn’t such a good idea, after all,” Daniel said. “He may not have a games period today. Let’s go.”
“You go,” she said, not taking her eyes from the field. “I’ll stay awhile.”
“Well, perhaps I’ll stay awhile, too,” he said casually.
She didn’t hear him. Her hands tightened on the wire and he heard her inhale her breath sharply. A crowd of little boys had appeared on the far side of the playing fields, and Megan’s eyes were fixed on one of them. “That’s him,” she whispered. “That’s Tommy.”
Frowning, Daniel tried to get a better view. At first glance the distance made all the boys look alike. Then he realized that Megan’s instinct hadn’t erred. After three years, during which Tommy’s appearance must have changed, her mother’s heart had chosen him at once.
“Surely they’ll come a little closer,” he murmured, trying to make it happen by sheer force of will. It seemed monstrously cruel that she should have kept so patient and heartbreaking a vigil and have it rewarded in this meager fashion. But soon he realized that the class had settled at the far end of the field, and wouldn’t be coming any nearer. Megan didn’t speak. Her eyes were fixed on Tommy with a look more piteous than tears, and she never moved them for the next half hour.
And then it was time for the children to go. They began to leave the field, laughing and fooling with each other, eager to get back to a shower and a change of clothes.
All except one.
A little boy had paused, staring down the field at the wire fence. He was totally still, as still as the woman who looked back at him, and their eyes met over the long distance. For a moment it seemed as if he would run toward her, but then the teacher noticed him lagging behind and called him. The next moment he was gone with the rest.
Still Megan didn’t
Similar Books
