water a long time without getting cold
Leesie327 says:
That’s so not going to help. You’ll look…
liv2div says:
like a string bean…wetsuits make everyone look goofy
Leesie327 says:
Don’t lie to me. I’ve seen you in a wetsuit.
liv2div says:
listen…no one has curves wearing a three mil, okay? now, a dive skin…!
Leesie327 says:
Be nice.
liv2div says:
scuba is not about how you look… scuba is pot-bellied guys struggling in and out of wetsuits on a pitching boat
Leesie327 says:
I read somewhere it’s the sexiest sport on earth. I can’t be like that.
liv2div says:
the only thing sexy about scuba are the ads in Skin Diver Magazine…after a dive, guys stand around peeing off the back
Leesie327 says:
Why do I want to do this?
liv2div says:
you’ll see
Leesie327 says:
If you pee in the pool, I’m out of there.
LEESIE’S MOST PRIVATE CHAPBOOK
POEM #59, MICHAEL’S HEAVEN
Gear plasters every inch
of this closet-sized Utopia.
Dive shop—Salt Lake style.
He didn’t like the ones in Provo.
Michael grins at the wall of wetsuits
packed tight. His gait shifts
as he wanders around stacks of masks in clear
plastic boxes, snorkels hanging upside down,
fins along the back wall, two circular
racks of BCs. His stands straighter as he examines
the regs, knives, and round gadgets
that look like watches on steroids
lurking behind the glass counter.
The chubby guy with a red
and white diver down flag
etched on his T-shirt is his best friend in
five minutes—fixes us up with their training
pool and gear for four whole hours—super cheap
because, “Oh my heck, we’re all divers, right?”
The strong scent of neoprene
embedded in the air blots out
my existence.
Is there room for me in
Michael’s
heaven?
Chapter 17
POOL SESSION
MICHAEL’S DIVE LOG—VOLUME #10
D IVE B UDDY : Leesie the Mermaid to be
D ATE : 11/05
D IVE #: Leesie’s 1st
L OCATION : Salt Lake City
D IVE S ITE : Blue Divers training pool
W EATHER C ONDITION : sunny
W ATER C ONDITION : flat
D EPTH : 10’
V ISIBILITY : 10’
W ATER T EMP .: 78F
B OTTOM T IME : 2 hours, 25 minutes
C OMMENTS :
At the pool, I change quickly and go for the water. Leesie takes forever in the locker room. We’ve got the place mostly to ourselves. Awesome. There’s just somebody in the front office.
We spent the entire afternoon in her apartment working through the stuff on the PADI CD. She got through all the quizzes no problem. It’s all basic stuff. Easy physics for her. Common sense. I’ll give her the exam tomorrow. She’ll ace it.
I swim over to the deep end and lie on the water, face down. Shoot where’s my snorkel? I swim underwater to get it and my mask. Leesie comes out of the chick’s change room with a wretched frown on her face. She stands at the edge of the pool and looks down at the faded wetsuit I rented for her. Once upon a time, it was blue and neon yellow. The yellow is faded to mustard and the blue is washed a dull gray. The baggy bust line bugs her the worst. The rest of her form silhouetted in form-fitting neoprene calls me like those sirens on the rocks in all that myth stuff. I roll over, dive, swim along the bottom and surface near where she stands.
“This suit stinks like moldy chlorine.”
“You look so hot.”
A smile fights the frown for mastery of her face. She sticks out her tongue, dives in, and swims with long freestyle strokes across the pool. Nice form for a girl who says she doesn’t swim.
I follow underwater, surface next to her. “Maybe scuba is sexy.”
She rounds on me and pushes my head under with both hands. I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her down. We surface, a tangle of arms and legs.
“Breathe.” She gulps air as I pull her under again, try to kiss her, but she pops up. “What do you think so far?” I ask, my lips wet on her cheek.
“I like it.” She gets ready to dunk me again. “A lot.”
Terry Pratchett
Stan Hayes
Charlotte Stein
Dan Verner
Chad Evercroft
Mickey Huff
Jeannette Winters
Will Self
Kennedy Chase
Ana Vela