Two To The Fifth by Piers Anthony

luck. I know exactly what I'm showing. If I wanted to show panties, I'd do this.” She pulled aside a portion of her gown.
    Cyrus freaked out. When he recovered, he was riding the donkey farther along the trail.
    “I warned you about annoying women,” Melete reminded him.
    “But Don did it!”
    “She knew that. So maybe she was just trying to impress you.”
    “She succeeded. I think.”
    They continued along the trail. The sky darkened. “It looks like rain,” Don remarked.
    “We can handle it,” Cyrus said. “But can she?”
    For a woman was approaching them. She was brownish in color, and had an interesting walk.
    “She's not the one.” Melete said.
    “It may rain,” Cyrus said to the woman as they met. “You should get under cover.”
    “No need. I am Umber Ella, I never get wet in a rainstorm,” She walked on by.
    Don groaned without other comment.
    “We are meeting women, but not the one I'm looking for,” Cyrus said.
    “Keep looking,” Melete said, “I am sensing her nearby.”
    The rain held off. They encountered another girl. She was painting red and white stripes on bushes, making them look like candy.
    They paused to introduce themselves. “What are you doing?” Don asked.
    “I am Candy Striper. I paint the bushes so that they become candies that heal people. It is my little way of making Xanth a nicer place.”
    She was right, but she was not the actress he needed.
    Now they encountered a man. He turned out to be Weslee Weredragon, who could breathe any type of dragon breath: fire, smoke, or steam. That wasn't the actress either.
    But Cyrus inquired anyway, explaining what he was looking for.
    Weslee nodded. “It happens I know a girl who fits your description. She does not have the face of a frog, but she's just as bad.”
    “In what way?”
    “Her arms terminate in giant crab pincers. No one wants to embrace her. That's too bad, because she really is a sweet person, and very nice looking apart from that one problem.”
    “She could be the one,” Melete said.
    “Can you lead me to her?” Cyrus asked, interested.
    “Yes.” The man paused. “Would you by chance have any likely role for a man with dragon breath?”
    “Find me my ideal lead actress, and I'll write a bit part for you.”
    “Done.” Weslee set off, and they followed.
    “What's her name?” Don asked.
    “They call her Crabapple. She pretends to like it.”
    “So as not to hurt their feelings?” Cyrus asked.
    “Yes. As I said, she's a nice person. If only—” He shrugged.
    “But can she act?” Don asked.
    “I don't know. I see her only when she needs her weeds burned back.”
    “Do her pincers work?”
    “Oh, yes. That's how she earns her keep: cutting vines into short length for ready storage. That's why the villagers treat her with respect. But there's not a man among them who would ever marry her. All she wants is to find true love and settle down to raise a family, but it will never happen.”
    “Notoriety can work wonders in such respects,” Melete said. “Make her famous, and she'll find a man.”
    They reached Crabapple's house. Weslee knocked, then announced himself before the door opened. “Crabapple! It's Weslee Weredragon. I brought you visitors from elsewhere.”
    “Please take them away,” a voice replied. “You know I don't like to be an exhibit.”
    “This is different. It's a Playwright. He wants to cast you in a play.”
    “As a monster? No!”
    “Talk to her.” Melete said.
    “Crabapple!” Cyrus called. “I am Cyrus Cyborg. I am writing a play with a mon—a woman like you, I need her for a role.”
    “Don't tease me! It's not nice.”
    “Please! Let me in. Talk to me. I think you're the one. But it will help if you can act.”
    The door opened. There stood an elegant young woman in a voluminous cloak.
    “Well, now,” Melete said. “But is she just a pretty face?”
    “You're beautiful,” he said honestly. “May I see your body?” That didn't sound quite right, but