Twenty-Eight and a Half Wishes
funny.
    “No, no, no.” I wondered why it sounded like my words were slurred. “I might forget.”
    “Okay, pay me twenty dollars and you can cook me dinner sometime to make up the difference.”
    I dug through my cash, carefully picking through the bills. I found a twenty, taking great care as I pulled it out. The Wal-Mart receipt fell out onto my lap. I reached over to hand Joe the money. He took it from me, his fingers brushing mine. I felt a strange tingling in my gut.
    “Oh…,” I said, my eyes opening wide in surprise. I turned to Joe in fascination.
    He looked confused at my reaction.
    I thought about touching him again, but decided to take another drink of my beer instead.
    “How long have you been out here?” he asked.
    “I dunno…,” my voice trailed off. “Hmm….” I tried to think.
    “When did you start drinkin’?”
    “I dunno, not that long ago.” I finished off my bottle and reached down for another.
    Joe grabbed my hand in his, stopping me while I lifted it out of the box. “Hold on there, Party Girl. When was the last time you ate somethin’?”
    Our heads were bent close together, both of us reaching down. I turned slightly to look at him. “I dunno…,”
    His face was inches from mine, his eyes full of mischief, but they quickly clouded over and turned dark and serious. He sat up, looking stiff and uncomfortable. “I’m gonna go get us somethin’ to eat. You wait here and don’t drink anything else .”
    “But there’s another beer in there!” I protested in earnest.
    He grabbed the bottle and stood up.
    “That’s mine! Give that back!”
    “I will, after you eat something. Since you’re new to drinkin’ I'll teach you all about it.”
    That got my attention. “You will?”
    “Yeah, when I get back. Just wait right there.”
    I watched my last bottle of beer leave with him. My hands settled in my lap and the receipt poked my palm. I unfolded the strip, smoothing it out. How long ago had I written my list? It felt like a lifetime.
    I started reading, surprised at the number of items I could already mark off. I’d been more wicked than I thought. I’d completed three of them: numbers one, ten and eighteen— get a cell phone, drink a beer and wear high heels . Three items of twenty eight. I still had a ways to go, but those were three things I’d never done in twenty-four years. I’d made pretty good progress.
    “What are you lookin’ at?”
    My head jerked up at the sound of Joe’s voice. “Huh?”
    “What’s that?”
    I loved beer. Normally, I would have been shy and hid my list, but beer gave me confidence I'd never had before. “It’s my Wish List.”
    Joe handed me a bottle of water and a paper plate with a sandwich and some chips. He sat down with his own plate and water.
    “Where’s my beer?” I asked, panicked that he might have lost it.
    He laughed. “Don’t worry, I put it in your fridge. Rule number one of drinkin’: Beer is better cold.”
    I picked up the sandwich and took a bite. “Oh…”
    Joe leaned over toward me. “That one is very important.”
    I nodded, seeing the seriousness of it. “What else?”
    “Beer before liquor, you’ll never be sicker.”
    I scrunched my nose. “What does that mean?”
    “It means don't drink beer and move onto harder stuff; you’ll get a pretty nasty hangover.”
    “Okay.” I took another bite of my turkey sandwich. “Why did you bring me a sandwich? Why’re you being so nice to me?”
    He shrugged and grinned. “You gave me a beer, I repaid you with a sandwich. Good trade. Besides, that brings me to the next rule: don't drink on an empty stomach. Bad idea.”
    “Wow, I had no idea drinkin’ had so many rules.”
    “You have no idea. Next rule: drink plenty of water so you don’t get dehydrated.”
    “Really?”
    “Yeah, take another drink. It will keep you from gettin’ a headache tomorrow.”
    “I’m gonna get a headache?”
    “If you drink too much and don’t eat or drink water.

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