saying you’ll have to say my name on the other side of the bed to make sure I have what I want?”
“Something like that.”
“Then I suggest we go below now. I thought I had that checked off my ‘to do’ list and I don’t like having to uncheck things.” He drew his leg up from around her and stood, motioning for her to follow him.
“Marius, wait. There’s something I want to say to you.”
“Later,
mi amor.
I don’t think there’s anything that needs to be said right now other than let’s go back to bed.”
“No, it’s important.” Her expression must have looked as resolute as she felt because he sat down next to her and took her hand.
“All right. I’m listening.”
She couldn’t bear the intense look in those bottomless coffee-colored eyes so, instead of looking at his face, she stared at their hands and played with their interlaced fingers as she spoke. “I just want you to know that I don’t expect … don’t have any expectations about … you know … about this.”
“About what, Cynthia?” The tone of his voice had changed from warm teasing to guardedness.
“About this … you and me. I won’t make any demands, won’t try to entangle you or trap you. I get it.”
“I’m glad you get it, but I don’t.” He tipped up her face and forced her to look at him. “What is it about being together that makes you … ?”
“It’s not about being together here, Marius. Being together on the boat is wonderful. It’s about later … about when this is over.” She shook off his hand. “I’m trying to say it’s okay that it’ll be different when we get back to Seattle.”
“Over? Different? What will be different when what is over?” The tone of his voice was getting uncomfortably chilly.
“I know that when we get back to Seattle, we go back to our own worlds and we don’t have a lot in common. I don’t expect that you’ll, you know, have a lot of time to spend with me, doing the things I do. And it’s okay.”
He’d been staring at her while she talked, the look on his face now set into a hard, impassive expression. “So, you’re saying, what, that you think I won’t want to see you when we get back to Seattle? That I pick up women, drag them out to sea, fuck them, then dump them when I’m finished having fun? Is that who you think I am?”
She’d never heard that tone in his voice before. “I didn’t mean anything like that. I just wanted you to know that I understand … ”
“You understand nothing about me if you believe I’d do something like that.” He dropped her hand and rose, his back to her. “I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve your contempt but if that’s what you think about me … ”
“Contempt? No, Marius, wait. I must be saying this all wrong if you think that’s what I mean. I’m trying to say … ”
He turned at the top of the steps. “What exactly are you trying to say? Spit it out. Because what I hear is you think I’ve gotten what I want from you and will drop you as soon as we get home.”
“What I mean is, out here, we have our own world. It’s like you said, we’re together, just the two of us. It’s the most wonderful world I’ve ever been in. If I could, I’d stay here forever.” She sniffed back the tears that were beginning to form, knowing she didn’t have long before they’d fall. Before that happened, she had to make him understand.
Wiping the back of her hands across her eyes, she continued. “Back in Seattle, it’s not like that. We have such different lives. Live in such different worlds, I mean. I just want you to know I understand that. I understand it won’t be the same … can’t be the same.”
“Is this that bullshit you talked about in the bar about being in different leagues? Is that what this is about? I don’t know who put that crap in your head but whoever it was really did a number on you. Who was it — your mother? Some man?” She must have reacted to his comment because his
“Something like that.”
“Then I suggest we go below now. I thought I had that checked off my ‘to do’ list and I don’t like having to uncheck things.” He drew his leg up from around her and stood, motioning for her to follow him.
“Marius, wait. There’s something I want to say to you.”
“Later,
mi amor.
I don’t think there’s anything that needs to be said right now other than let’s go back to bed.”
“No, it’s important.” Her expression must have looked as resolute as she felt because he sat down next to her and took her hand.
“All right. I’m listening.”
She couldn’t bear the intense look in those bottomless coffee-colored eyes so, instead of looking at his face, she stared at their hands and played with their interlaced fingers as she spoke. “I just want you to know that I don’t expect … don’t have any expectations about … you know … about this.”
“About what, Cynthia?” The tone of his voice had changed from warm teasing to guardedness.
“About this … you and me. I won’t make any demands, won’t try to entangle you or trap you. I get it.”
“I’m glad you get it, but I don’t.” He tipped up her face and forced her to look at him. “What is it about being together that makes you … ?”
“It’s not about being together here, Marius. Being together on the boat is wonderful. It’s about later … about when this is over.” She shook off his hand. “I’m trying to say it’s okay that it’ll be different when we get back to Seattle.”
“Over? Different? What will be different when what is over?” The tone of his voice was getting uncomfortably chilly.
“I know that when we get back to Seattle, we go back to our own worlds and we don’t have a lot in common. I don’t expect that you’ll, you know, have a lot of time to spend with me, doing the things I do. And it’s okay.”
He’d been staring at her while she talked, the look on his face now set into a hard, impassive expression. “So, you’re saying, what, that you think I won’t want to see you when we get back to Seattle? That I pick up women, drag them out to sea, fuck them, then dump them when I’m finished having fun? Is that who you think I am?”
She’d never heard that tone in his voice before. “I didn’t mean anything like that. I just wanted you to know that I understand … ”
“You understand nothing about me if you believe I’d do something like that.” He dropped her hand and rose, his back to her. “I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve your contempt but if that’s what you think about me … ”
“Contempt? No, Marius, wait. I must be saying this all wrong if you think that’s what I mean. I’m trying to say … ”
He turned at the top of the steps. “What exactly are you trying to say? Spit it out. Because what I hear is you think I’ve gotten what I want from you and will drop you as soon as we get home.”
“What I mean is, out here, we have our own world. It’s like you said, we’re together, just the two of us. It’s the most wonderful world I’ve ever been in. If I could, I’d stay here forever.” She sniffed back the tears that were beginning to form, knowing she didn’t have long before they’d fall. Before that happened, she had to make him understand.
Wiping the back of her hands across her eyes, she continued. “Back in Seattle, it’s not like that. We have such different lives. Live in such different worlds, I mean. I just want you to know I understand that. I understand it won’t be the same … can’t be the same.”
“Is this that bullshit you talked about in the bar about being in different leagues? Is that what this is about? I don’t know who put that crap in your head but whoever it was really did a number on you. Who was it — your mother? Some man?” She must have reacted to his comment because his
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