done without penetration. That wouldn’t matter to Brianna, though. She and I had never ventured into my playroom. For all I knew, just the sight of the equipment would send her into one of her panic attacks. Add to that her reaction to the simple scene we’d watch Logan and Lily perform . . . it wasn’t something I would ever chance again.
That was if I ever got the chance to do anything with Brianna in the future. I was still worried about this deal she’d agreed to with Ross, but there wasn’t much I could do about it. The letter I’d sent was risky enough. Contact was supposed to be off-limits for the time being. If I wrote something that could be taken out of context and Ross decided his hatred of me was more important, I could easily find myself dealing with a whole new set of problems. If I thought the media was bad now, they would be ten times worse given access to private communication like that. I was only hoping that Ross’s loyalty to Brianna overrode everything else.
Movement on my right drew my attention back to my friends. Daren was leading Gina to the far side of the room where the small play area was set up. It wasn’t anything fancy—a Saint Andrew’s cross hung against the wall, and there was a spanking bench off to the side. I also took note of a short table with various impact toys: several floggers, canes, and paddles. It was a tiny sampling, all things considered.
“Hey.” Sarah sat on the edge of her seat, frowning at me. “You’re not enjoying yourself at all, are you?”
I smiled at her, even though I knew it was weak. “It’s not your fault.”
Sarah reached for my hand and squeezed. “Is there anything we can do?” She paused. “I’ll even let you spank me if you want.”
If she’d not winked at me, I might have reacted differently, but her teasing made me chuckle. The sound was enough to garner the attention of Logan and Lily who were sitting on her other side.
“Thanks, but I think I’ll pass.”
“What did we miss?” Lily asked.
I shook my head, but Sarah felt the need to fill her in. “I offered to let him spank me.”
“Oh. And?” The expression on Lily’s face was far too eager in my opinion.
Sarah released an exaggerated sigh. “He turned me down.”
“Too bad. I would have let you spank Lily, too, if you wanted. It is your birthday after all.”
Although Logan and Lily were monogamous, I knew Logan’s offer was sincere. I was his best friend, and Lily and I had a history. Plus, they all seemed to be grasping at straws to try and turn my mood around. Unfortunately, there was only one person who could make what I was feeling disappear, and she wasn’t here. I would have given anything to spend the evening with Brianna—just the two of us. Knowing my one birthday wish would never be granted, and not wanting to ruin my friends’ evening, I made an effort to at least play the part they needed me to play. I could do that for one night.
Chapter 10
Brianna
I didn’t want to go in there.
The last two days were awful. After my “episode” in Dr. Perkins office on Friday, she’d given me a sedative and sent me home with Cal and Jade to “rest.” They’d both hovered over me like mother hens, trying to get me to take another dose of the sedative anytime they thought I was getting worked up about something. Taking it once had been enough, though. I didn’t like the way it made me feel—as if I weren’t connected to my body. It reminded me too much of how I’d been when I first came to live with Stephan. I didn’t want that again.
Because our session had been cut short on Friday, Dr. Perkins had insisted I come see her on Monday. That was how I found myself standing outside her office with what felt like a swarm of bees buzzing around in my stomach.
“It’ll be okay, Anna. I promise.”
Jade’s reassurance did little to help the chaos in my stomach. If anything, it made it worse.
Before Jade could attempt any more encouragement, Dr.
That was if I ever got the chance to do anything with Brianna in the future. I was still worried about this deal she’d agreed to with Ross, but there wasn’t much I could do about it. The letter I’d sent was risky enough. Contact was supposed to be off-limits for the time being. If I wrote something that could be taken out of context and Ross decided his hatred of me was more important, I could easily find myself dealing with a whole new set of problems. If I thought the media was bad now, they would be ten times worse given access to private communication like that. I was only hoping that Ross’s loyalty to Brianna overrode everything else.
Movement on my right drew my attention back to my friends. Daren was leading Gina to the far side of the room where the small play area was set up. It wasn’t anything fancy—a Saint Andrew’s cross hung against the wall, and there was a spanking bench off to the side. I also took note of a short table with various impact toys: several floggers, canes, and paddles. It was a tiny sampling, all things considered.
“Hey.” Sarah sat on the edge of her seat, frowning at me. “You’re not enjoying yourself at all, are you?”
I smiled at her, even though I knew it was weak. “It’s not your fault.”
Sarah reached for my hand and squeezed. “Is there anything we can do?” She paused. “I’ll even let you spank me if you want.”
If she’d not winked at me, I might have reacted differently, but her teasing made me chuckle. The sound was enough to garner the attention of Logan and Lily who were sitting on her other side.
“Thanks, but I think I’ll pass.”
“What did we miss?” Lily asked.
I shook my head, but Sarah felt the need to fill her in. “I offered to let him spank me.”
“Oh. And?” The expression on Lily’s face was far too eager in my opinion.
Sarah released an exaggerated sigh. “He turned me down.”
“Too bad. I would have let you spank Lily, too, if you wanted. It is your birthday after all.”
Although Logan and Lily were monogamous, I knew Logan’s offer was sincere. I was his best friend, and Lily and I had a history. Plus, they all seemed to be grasping at straws to try and turn my mood around. Unfortunately, there was only one person who could make what I was feeling disappear, and she wasn’t here. I would have given anything to spend the evening with Brianna—just the two of us. Knowing my one birthday wish would never be granted, and not wanting to ruin my friends’ evening, I made an effort to at least play the part they needed me to play. I could do that for one night.
Chapter 10
Brianna
I didn’t want to go in there.
The last two days were awful. After my “episode” in Dr. Perkins office on Friday, she’d given me a sedative and sent me home with Cal and Jade to “rest.” They’d both hovered over me like mother hens, trying to get me to take another dose of the sedative anytime they thought I was getting worked up about something. Taking it once had been enough, though. I didn’t like the way it made me feel—as if I weren’t connected to my body. It reminded me too much of how I’d been when I first came to live with Stephan. I didn’t want that again.
Because our session had been cut short on Friday, Dr. Perkins had insisted I come see her on Monday. That was how I found myself standing outside her office with what felt like a swarm of bees buzzing around in my stomach.
“It’ll be okay, Anna. I promise.”
Jade’s reassurance did little to help the chaos in my stomach. If anything, it made it worse.
Before Jade could attempt any more encouragement, Dr.
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