Truly Tasteless Jokes Two

Truly Tasteless Jokes Two by Blanche Knott Page B

Book: Truly Tasteless Jokes Two by Blanche Knott Read Free Book Online
Authors: Blanche Knott
Tags: Humor
what time it is?”
    *
    Why don’t Puerto Ricans like blow jobs?
They’re afraid they’ll interfere with their unemployment benefits.
    *
    What’s the difference between an Italian mother and a Jewish mother?
The Italian mother says, “If you don’t eat all the food on this plate, I’ll kill you.”
 
The Jewish mother says, “If you don’t eat all the food on this plate, I’ll kill myself.”
    *
    What’s brown and has holes in it?
Swiss shit.
    *
    What do they use in a Mexican baptism?
Bean dip.
    *
    Why do Mexicans eat refried beans?
Ever seen a Mexican that didn’t fuck things up the first time around?
    *
    Why is Italy shaped like a boot?
Because they couldn’t fit all that shit into a sneaker.
    *
    How does God make Puerto Ricans?
By sandblasting blacks.
    *
    Did you hear about the Italian who picked his nose apart to see what made it run?
    *
    What’s Jewish foreplay?
A trip to the jewelry store followed by a half hour of begging.
 
    Puerto Rican foreplay?
“Is your husband back from work yet, Carmen?”
 
    Black foreplay?
“Don’t scream or I’ll kill you.”
    *
    Did you hear about the Greek boy who left home because he didn’t like the way he was being reared?
He came back because he couldn’t leave his brothers behind.
    *
    Why do Mexican women wear long skirts?
To hide the no-pest strips.
    *
    Why do Italians bury their dead with their asses sticking up out of the ground?
So they’ll have somewhere to park their bicycles.
    *
    Know what Greek lipstick is?
Preparation H.
    *
    What’s the definition of a cad?
An Italian who doesn’t tell his wife he’s sterile until she’s pregnant.
    *
    How come the Mexican Army only used 600 soldiers at the Alamo?
They only had two cars.
    *
    How do you kill an Italian?
Smash the toilet seat down on his head while he’s getting a drink.
    *
    Why do Mexicans’ cars have such small steering wheels?
So they can drive with handcuffs on.
    *
    What’s the definition of a maniac?
An Italian in a whorehouse with a credit card.
    *
    How do you get two Mexicans off your roof?
Jerk one off and the other’ll come too.
    *
    Who won the race down the tunnel—the black or the Pole?
The Pole, because the black had to stop and write “motherfucker” on the wall.
    *
    How many people from New Jersey does it take to change a light bulb?
Three: one to do it, one to watch, and the third to shoot the witness.
    *
    What do you call a Vietnamese family with one dog?
Vegetarians.
    *
    What do you call a Vietnamese family with two dogs?
Ranchers.
    *
    How many Mexicans does it take to grease a car?
One, if you hit him right.

Black
     
     
    Remember how to keep little black kids from jumping up and down on the bed? (Put Velcro on the ceiling.)
    How do you get ‘em down?
Invite some Mexican kids over and tell them it’s a pinata party.
    *
    What’s the definition of worthless?
A seven-foot-two-inch black with a small cock who can’t play basketball.
    *
    Did you hear the Harlem High school cheer?
Barbecue, watermelon,
Cadillac car;
We’re not as dumb
As you think we is!
    *
    There was this football coach who wasn’t too pleased with the way his team was performing; their record was 0—6 and it was already half way through the season. He didn’t know quite what to do about it, though, since he couldn’t figure out whether the play book was too complicated or whether the players were simply unable to play any better. Finally he decided that the best solution was to simplify the play book, reducing the number of plays to something even the most thick-headed guy on the team could understand.
    So after a particularly depressing defeat, he called his muddy and battered team together and explained that from now on they would only have to master four plays, and that he had simplified the calls as follows: NRR, NRL, SPDN, and WBK.
    “What’s dat again, coach?” asked the quarterback, scratching his head.
    “NRR,” explained the coach, “stands for Nigger Run Right.”
    “NRL,” he went on,

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