themselves. Whaddaya think we could be doing wrong?”
“I dunno,” said the other. “Maybe we're not throwing the dogs high enough.”
*
What do you call a pretty girl in Poland?
A tourist.
*
Two Polish guys went away on their annual hunting expedition, and by accident one was shot by the other. His worried companion got him out of the deep woods, into the car, and off to the nearest hospital.
“Well, Doc,” he inquired anxiously, “is he going to make it?”
“It's tough,” said the doctor. “He'd have a better chance if you hadn't gutted him first.”
*
A realtor is showing a new property to an affluent young couple, who are somewhat bewildered by his behavior. On every landing, the realtor stops to open the window and shout, “Green side up!” Finally, they ask why.
“I’ve got a Pole laying the sod,” he explains, “and I’ve got to make sure he does it right.”
*
Did you hear about the guy who made a million dollars in Poland with Cheerios?
He sold them as doughnut seeds.
*
Did you hear about the Polish car pool?
They all meet at work.
*
How come Poles don't go elephant hunting?
They get too tired carrying the decoys.
*
How come Poles don't become pharmacists?
They can't fit the little bottles in the typewriter.
*
How do you know when your house has been burgled by a Pole?
The garbage's been eaten and the dog is pregnant.
*
Did you hear about the Polish bank?
You bring in a toaster and they give you ten thousand dollars.
*
A young Polish girl was hitchhiking along the Interstate, and a big semi pulled over to pick her up. The driver was a serious CB addict, and the dashboard boasted an enormous CB radio.
That's the best radio ever made,” he explained to the bug-eyed girl. “You can talk to people anywhere in the world with it.”
“No kidding,” she gasped. “Boy, I would really love to talk to my mother in Poland.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“I would give anything to talk to my mother in Poland.”
“ Anything ?” he asked.
“Anything,'' she assured him.
“Well, maybe we can work something out,” he leered, pulling his cock, by this time erect, out of his pants.
So the girl leaned over, bent down, and said loudly, “HELLO, MOM?”
*
What are the three most difficult years for a Pole?
Second grade.
*
Did you hear about the Pole who had a penis transplant?
His hand rejected it.
*
Two Poles are out fishing for the day, and they have a hell of a time: fish grabbing the hooks as fast as they can get them into the water. Finally, with the boat as full of fish as possible, they decide it's time to head for shore.
“But listen,'' says Stan, “why don't we mark the spot?”
“No problem,” says Jerzy, who dives in and paints a big black X on the bottom of the boat.
Stan beams with pleasure, and they're almost back to the dock when his face wrinkles in consternation. “Oh, no!” he cries to Jerzy, “what if we don't get the same boat?”
*
What's this?
A Polish coke spoon.
*
What does a Polish girl do after she sucks cock?
Spits out the feathers.
*
What do Poles wear to weddings?
Formal bowling shirts.
*
Did you hear about the Pole who locked his family in the car?
He had to get a coathanger to get them out.
*
A Pole walks into his local bar and goes straight up to the bartender, who turns away in disgust at the handful of horseshit the Pole is holding.
“Hey, Harry,” says the Pole, “look what I almost stepped in.”
*
A young Polish guy wanted more than anything to become a cop, and went through the rigorous entrance exam, the last question of which was “Who killed Christ?” The would-be rookie went home excitedly and said to his wife, “Honey, I think they're putting me on a murder case!”
Jewish
What's the Jewish version of foreplay?
Half an hour of begging.
*
Do you know how to keep Jews out of the country club?
Let one in, and hell keep the rest out.
*
This black guy was walking down the street, kicking rubbish
“I dunno,” said the other. “Maybe we're not throwing the dogs high enough.”
*
What do you call a pretty girl in Poland?
A tourist.
*
Two Polish guys went away on their annual hunting expedition, and by accident one was shot by the other. His worried companion got him out of the deep woods, into the car, and off to the nearest hospital.
“Well, Doc,” he inquired anxiously, “is he going to make it?”
“It's tough,” said the doctor. “He'd have a better chance if you hadn't gutted him first.”
*
A realtor is showing a new property to an affluent young couple, who are somewhat bewildered by his behavior. On every landing, the realtor stops to open the window and shout, “Green side up!” Finally, they ask why.
“I’ve got a Pole laying the sod,” he explains, “and I’ve got to make sure he does it right.”
*
Did you hear about the guy who made a million dollars in Poland with Cheerios?
He sold them as doughnut seeds.
*
Did you hear about the Polish car pool?
They all meet at work.
*
How come Poles don't go elephant hunting?
They get too tired carrying the decoys.
*
How come Poles don't become pharmacists?
They can't fit the little bottles in the typewriter.
*
How do you know when your house has been burgled by a Pole?
The garbage's been eaten and the dog is pregnant.
*
Did you hear about the Polish bank?
You bring in a toaster and they give you ten thousand dollars.
*
A young Polish girl was hitchhiking along the Interstate, and a big semi pulled over to pick her up. The driver was a serious CB addict, and the dashboard boasted an enormous CB radio.
That's the best radio ever made,” he explained to the bug-eyed girl. “You can talk to people anywhere in the world with it.”
“No kidding,” she gasped. “Boy, I would really love to talk to my mother in Poland.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“I would give anything to talk to my mother in Poland.”
“ Anything ?” he asked.
“Anything,'' she assured him.
“Well, maybe we can work something out,” he leered, pulling his cock, by this time erect, out of his pants.
So the girl leaned over, bent down, and said loudly, “HELLO, MOM?”
*
What are the three most difficult years for a Pole?
Second grade.
*
Did you hear about the Pole who had a penis transplant?
His hand rejected it.
*
Two Poles are out fishing for the day, and they have a hell of a time: fish grabbing the hooks as fast as they can get them into the water. Finally, with the boat as full of fish as possible, they decide it's time to head for shore.
“But listen,'' says Stan, “why don't we mark the spot?”
“No problem,” says Jerzy, who dives in and paints a big black X on the bottom of the boat.
Stan beams with pleasure, and they're almost back to the dock when his face wrinkles in consternation. “Oh, no!” he cries to Jerzy, “what if we don't get the same boat?”
*
What's this?
A Polish coke spoon.
*
What does a Polish girl do after she sucks cock?
Spits out the feathers.
*
What do Poles wear to weddings?
Formal bowling shirts.
*
Did you hear about the Pole who locked his family in the car?
He had to get a coathanger to get them out.
*
A Pole walks into his local bar and goes straight up to the bartender, who turns away in disgust at the handful of horseshit the Pole is holding.
“Hey, Harry,” says the Pole, “look what I almost stepped in.”
*
A young Polish guy wanted more than anything to become a cop, and went through the rigorous entrance exam, the last question of which was “Who killed Christ?” The would-be rookie went home excitedly and said to his wife, “Honey, I think they're putting me on a murder case!”
Jewish
What's the Jewish version of foreplay?
Half an hour of begging.
*
Do you know how to keep Jews out of the country club?
Let one in, and hell keep the rest out.
*
This black guy was walking down the street, kicking rubbish
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