like a question.
“I mean, are you asking me or don’t you know what you are to her. You only pose in pictures while having dinner with her every time you go to Texas and post them on Facebook.” I snort.
“Court, stop. Ash is Stiller’s sister. It’s not like that with us.” Us. So there’s an us. An Alex and Ashley us.
“Oh, great. Thanks. That all makes perfect sense.” I shrug, feigning indifference though it was obvious his answer didn’t help one bit especially the part where he shortened her name to just “Ash.” Bitch.
I wait a few more moments to see if he would continue to elaborate, but he only stares back at me with pressed lips, as if he expects me to say something more. Fuck it.
“You know what. It doesn’t even matter anymore.” I get up from the couch and try to walk past him, but he grabs my arm firmly, not enough to hurt, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to continue walking. So I stopped and glared at him. The brown eyes I used to spend so much time dreamily gazing into were now staring at me with anger and uncertainty.
“What doesn’t matter anymore?” He chokes out. His voice is so full of hurt that I could have burst into tears right now at the way things were playing out between us. I knew my words had hurt him, but he was hurting me too. So I steel my emotions enough to reply.
“All of it.” I answer with more confidence than I felt and yank my arm from his grasp. I kept my eyes averted the whole time, not wanting to look at his face to see what effect my words had on him. Would I see hurt or relief?
By the time I made it up the stairs, I was sure I would pass out from lack of oxygen. I refused to release any of the sobs I was holding in my chest until I closed the door to my bedroom and then the one in the bathroom followed by the running water of the shower. Only then did I let go. Loudly and with abandon.
I promised myself that night that if Alex came upstairs to bed, I wouldn’t go through with my plan with Justin. Then the next morning I promised myself if he tried to talk to me, I wouldn’t do it. Then if he at least kissed me goodbye like he normally did before he drove to the airport, this could all be saved. I wanted so desperately for him to show me any sign that he wanted there to still be an us. An Alex and Courtney. Hell, I would have even taken a glance in my direction with anything other than indifference.
I got none of those things. He didn’t come to bed. He didn’t try to talk to me. He didn’t look at me. He only kissed the girls goodbye and left without so much as a "fuck you" in my direction. That was it. It was done.
I picked up my phone.
“Macy, are you busy tomorrow? I have something I need to go out of town for and was hoping you could do me a huge favor by watching the girls and maybe keep them overnight?”
Decision made.
Chapter Thirteen
Present .
I’m sitting in my car, drumming my fingers on the steering wheel and staring at the words “Reserve Now” on the tiny screen in front of me. I sent Justin a text this morning after I dropped off the girls at my sister’s, letting him know that I still planned to drive up. He replied immediately giving me the address of his construction site asking me to meet him there. I came home to change and grab an overnight bag and then quickly Googled hotels in Talbot Beach on my phone. My search returned with “The Bella Vista.” It looked like a lovely place, so I decided to book a room and not think any further about whether I would actually use it. Now I’m staring at the last steps of the booking stage with my finger hovering over the words that could change everything. What would Justin say if he knew I booked a room? Would he assume we would use it. Do I want to use it with him? What if we do? Something to the left catches my eye, and it takes my brain a moment to comprehend what I’m seeing.
A fucking For Sale sign. Is he serious?
Was I just going to come home one day to find
“I mean, are you asking me or don’t you know what you are to her. You only pose in pictures while having dinner with her every time you go to Texas and post them on Facebook.” I snort.
“Court, stop. Ash is Stiller’s sister. It’s not like that with us.” Us. So there’s an us. An Alex and Ashley us.
“Oh, great. Thanks. That all makes perfect sense.” I shrug, feigning indifference though it was obvious his answer didn’t help one bit especially the part where he shortened her name to just “Ash.” Bitch.
I wait a few more moments to see if he would continue to elaborate, but he only stares back at me with pressed lips, as if he expects me to say something more. Fuck it.
“You know what. It doesn’t even matter anymore.” I get up from the couch and try to walk past him, but he grabs my arm firmly, not enough to hurt, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to continue walking. So I stopped and glared at him. The brown eyes I used to spend so much time dreamily gazing into were now staring at me with anger and uncertainty.
“What doesn’t matter anymore?” He chokes out. His voice is so full of hurt that I could have burst into tears right now at the way things were playing out between us. I knew my words had hurt him, but he was hurting me too. So I steel my emotions enough to reply.
“All of it.” I answer with more confidence than I felt and yank my arm from his grasp. I kept my eyes averted the whole time, not wanting to look at his face to see what effect my words had on him. Would I see hurt or relief?
By the time I made it up the stairs, I was sure I would pass out from lack of oxygen. I refused to release any of the sobs I was holding in my chest until I closed the door to my bedroom and then the one in the bathroom followed by the running water of the shower. Only then did I let go. Loudly and with abandon.
I promised myself that night that if Alex came upstairs to bed, I wouldn’t go through with my plan with Justin. Then the next morning I promised myself if he tried to talk to me, I wouldn’t do it. Then if he at least kissed me goodbye like he normally did before he drove to the airport, this could all be saved. I wanted so desperately for him to show me any sign that he wanted there to still be an us. An Alex and Courtney. Hell, I would have even taken a glance in my direction with anything other than indifference.
I got none of those things. He didn’t come to bed. He didn’t try to talk to me. He didn’t look at me. He only kissed the girls goodbye and left without so much as a "fuck you" in my direction. That was it. It was done.
I picked up my phone.
“Macy, are you busy tomorrow? I have something I need to go out of town for and was hoping you could do me a huge favor by watching the girls and maybe keep them overnight?”
Decision made.
Chapter Thirteen
Present .
I’m sitting in my car, drumming my fingers on the steering wheel and staring at the words “Reserve Now” on the tiny screen in front of me. I sent Justin a text this morning after I dropped off the girls at my sister’s, letting him know that I still planned to drive up. He replied immediately giving me the address of his construction site asking me to meet him there. I came home to change and grab an overnight bag and then quickly Googled hotels in Talbot Beach on my phone. My search returned with “The Bella Vista.” It looked like a lovely place, so I decided to book a room and not think any further about whether I would actually use it. Now I’m staring at the last steps of the booking stage with my finger hovering over the words that could change everything. What would Justin say if he knew I booked a room? Would he assume we would use it. Do I want to use it with him? What if we do? Something to the left catches my eye, and it takes my brain a moment to comprehend what I’m seeing.
A fucking For Sale sign. Is he serious?
Was I just going to come home one day to find
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