un-awkward.
“I would not eat them here or there. I would
not eat them anywhere.”
“Okay, Mr. McCormick. Pretty damn
impressive.”
A waiter pops by our table, fresh-faced and
smiling, with a face so smooth he looks he hasn’t even started
shaving yet. “And what can I get you fine folks today?” he asks,
rather jollily.
“I’m gonna go a little wild and order some
French fries,” I begin.
“Yeah, go nuts!” the waiter replies
cheerily. “What kind of sauce would you like with that?”
“I’ll tell you what. Why don’t you surprise
me? Just pick your three best, any three, and bring them back to
me.”
The waiter’s eyes light up. He’s thrilled to
have been entrusted with such an important task. “It will be my
pleasure.”
“And I’ll have the Mediterranean salad with
that,” I add.
“And for you?” The chipper boy asks my lunch
companion. Chris orders a chicken sandwich, French fries, and extra
ketchup. The waiter returns to the kitchen. I launch right back
into conversation.
“So now I feel I must regain some street
cred in your eyes, so I’ll tell you that the last time I watched
her kid, I read her the lyrics to one of my favorite songs to teach
her new words.”
“And what would those be?”
“Well, now she knows all
about an airline ticket to romantic places and a tinkling piano in
the next apartment since I read the lyrics to These Foolish Things to her,” I say,
then I want to clamp my hand on my mouth. Why don’t I just tell him
to whisk me away and bury me in kisses that make me forget where am
I as the world disappears and time slows to one delicious moment
with him? Because I don’t think I gained any points by serving up
that romantic mushfest to him.
“You should know that, one,
you didn’t lost any street cred by reciting Green Eggs and Ham , two, you
definitely gained even more coolness for sharing one of my top five
favorite songs of all time, a song I would only ever admit I liked
to a girl,” he says, and I hide a grin because I didn’t just mess
up. “And three, I know the words to Green
Eggs and Ham because it was my little
sister Jill’s favorite book, and I taught her to read way back
when.”
“What a good older brother.”
“Thank you. I’m one of two brothers.
Youngest boy, and Jill’s the only girl.”
“And is Jill out here in the Bay Area?”
He smiles and shakes his
head. “Nope. She’s in New York. Actress. She landed a part in this
new Broadway musical called Crash the
Moon . It opens soon and I’m going to go see
her. I’m really proud of her.”
“I’ve heard about that musical. It sounds
amazing.”
“Yeah, she’s pretty stoked about it. We text
and email a lot, and she’s been telling me about it. But I think
the director is also making her kind of crazy.”
“I have to imagine directors of musicals
probably have a way of doing that.”
He smiles back and this time I notice his
teeth. They are nice, straight and white.
“So I wanted to thank you again for
mentioning my show on your show. That’s what this crazy video world
is built on, right? Cross promotion.”
“Speaking of, that’s something I wanted to
talk to you about,” Chris says.
My heart sinks. I had thought this was a
date. But it turns out he may have a business agenda. Then I tell
myself it’s better this way. I wouldn’t know how to date someone
like him for real.
The waiter appears with our salads,
sandwiches, fries and sauces. He deposits the plates on the table,
hurries off, then returns with water. He clasps his hands together,
almost like he’s praying. “Now, can I get you anything else?
Anything else at all?”
I shake my head and Chris says no. The
waiter leaves.
“Is he like the happiest person you have
ever met?” Chris asks.
“Yeah, I’ll have what he’s having.”
“So, I have to tell you. I looked you up
after I gave you back your camera,” Chris says, and I find myself
hopeful again because he looked me up. He dips a
“I would not eat them here or there. I would
not eat them anywhere.”
“Okay, Mr. McCormick. Pretty damn
impressive.”
A waiter pops by our table, fresh-faced and
smiling, with a face so smooth he looks he hasn’t even started
shaving yet. “And what can I get you fine folks today?” he asks,
rather jollily.
“I’m gonna go a little wild and order some
French fries,” I begin.
“Yeah, go nuts!” the waiter replies
cheerily. “What kind of sauce would you like with that?”
“I’ll tell you what. Why don’t you surprise
me? Just pick your three best, any three, and bring them back to
me.”
The waiter’s eyes light up. He’s thrilled to
have been entrusted with such an important task. “It will be my
pleasure.”
“And I’ll have the Mediterranean salad with
that,” I add.
“And for you?” The chipper boy asks my lunch
companion. Chris orders a chicken sandwich, French fries, and extra
ketchup. The waiter returns to the kitchen. I launch right back
into conversation.
“So now I feel I must regain some street
cred in your eyes, so I’ll tell you that the last time I watched
her kid, I read her the lyrics to one of my favorite songs to teach
her new words.”
“And what would those be?”
“Well, now she knows all
about an airline ticket to romantic places and a tinkling piano in
the next apartment since I read the lyrics to These Foolish Things to her,” I say,
then I want to clamp my hand on my mouth. Why don’t I just tell him
to whisk me away and bury me in kisses that make me forget where am
I as the world disappears and time slows to one delicious moment
with him? Because I don’t think I gained any points by serving up
that romantic mushfest to him.
“You should know that, one,
you didn’t lost any street cred by reciting Green Eggs and Ham , two, you
definitely gained even more coolness for sharing one of my top five
favorite songs of all time, a song I would only ever admit I liked
to a girl,” he says, and I hide a grin because I didn’t just mess
up. “And three, I know the words to Green
Eggs and Ham because it was my little
sister Jill’s favorite book, and I taught her to read way back
when.”
“What a good older brother.”
“Thank you. I’m one of two brothers.
Youngest boy, and Jill’s the only girl.”
“And is Jill out here in the Bay Area?”
He smiles and shakes his
head. “Nope. She’s in New York. Actress. She landed a part in this
new Broadway musical called Crash the
Moon . It opens soon and I’m going to go see
her. I’m really proud of her.”
“I’ve heard about that musical. It sounds
amazing.”
“Yeah, she’s pretty stoked about it. We text
and email a lot, and she’s been telling me about it. But I think
the director is also making her kind of crazy.”
“I have to imagine directors of musicals
probably have a way of doing that.”
He smiles back and this time I notice his
teeth. They are nice, straight and white.
“So I wanted to thank you again for
mentioning my show on your show. That’s what this crazy video world
is built on, right? Cross promotion.”
“Speaking of, that’s something I wanted to
talk to you about,” Chris says.
My heart sinks. I had thought this was a
date. But it turns out he may have a business agenda. Then I tell
myself it’s better this way. I wouldn’t know how to date someone
like him for real.
The waiter appears with our salads,
sandwiches, fries and sauces. He deposits the plates on the table,
hurries off, then returns with water. He clasps his hands together,
almost like he’s praying. “Now, can I get you anything else?
Anything else at all?”
I shake my head and Chris says no. The
waiter leaves.
“Is he like the happiest person you have
ever met?” Chris asks.
“Yeah, I’ll have what he’s having.”
“So, I have to tell you. I looked you up
after I gave you back your camera,” Chris says, and I find myself
hopeful again because he looked me up. He dips a
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