Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh Page A

other. Still, the incident had provided Begbie Wi the spurious moral ammunition he needed tae justify one ay his periodic drink and angst fuelled wars against the local populace. He'd git his one day. Nothing wis surer. Ah jist didnae want tae be aroond whin he did. Hazel and ah fell behind Franco n June. Haze wanted tae go.

    – Thirs something wrong wi him. Did ye see that guy's heid? Let's git ootay here.

    Ah found masel lyin tae her, tae justify Begbie's behaviour. Fuckin horrible. Ah jist couldnae handle her outrage, n the hassle thit went Wi it. It wis easy tae lie, as we all did Wi Begbie in our circle. A whole Begbie mythology hud been created by oor lies tae each other n oorsels. Like us, Begbie believed that bullshit. We played a big part in making him what he was.

    Myth: Begbie has a great sense ay humour.
    Reality: Begbie's sense ay humour is solely activated at the misfortunes, setbacks and weaknesses ay others, usually his friends.

    Myth: Begbie is a 'hard man'.
    Reality: Ah would not personally rate begbie that highly in a square–go, withoot his assortment ay stanley knives, baseebaw bats, knuckledusters, beer glesses, sharpened knitting needles, etc. Masel n maist cunts are too shite–scared tae test this theory, but the impression remains. Tommy once exposed some weaknesses in Begbie, in a square–go. Gave um a good run for his money, did Tam. Mind you, Tommy's a tidy cunt, n Begbie, it has tae be said, came oat the better ay the two.

    Myth: Begbie's mates like him.

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    Reality: They fear him.

    Myth: Begbie would never waste any ay his mates.
    Reality: His mates are generally toa cagey tae test oat this proposition. and oan the odd occasion they huv done so, huv succeeded in disproving It.

    Myth: Begbie backs up his mates.
    Reality: Begbie smashes fuck oot ay innocent wee daft cunts whae accidently spill your pint or bump in tae ye. Psychopaths who terrorise Begbie's mates usually dae so wi impunity. as they tend tae be closer mates ay Begbie's than the punters he hings abaot wi. He kens thum aw through approved schoal, prison n the casuals' networks, the freemasonaries that bams share.

    Anywey, these myths gie us the basis tae rescue the night.

    – Look Hazel, ah ken Franco's uptight. It's jist thit they guys pit his brar Joe oan a life–support machine. Thir a close faimlay. Begbie is like junk, a habit. Ma first day at primary school, the teacher sais tae us: – You will sit beside Francis Begbie. It wis the same story at secondary. Ah only did well at school tae git intae an O Level class tae git away fae Begbie. Whin Begbie wis expelled n sent tae another school en route tae Polmont, ma performance declined, and ah wis pit back intae the non–certificate stream. Still, nae mair Begbie.
    Then, when ah wis apprenticed as a chippy Wi a Gorgie builder, ah goes along tae Telford College tae dae ma national certificate modules in joinery. Ah sat doon tae ma chips in the cafeteria, whin whae comes along but that cunt Begbie, Wi a couple ay other psychos. They wir oan this specialist course in metalwork fir problem teenagers. The course seemed tae teach them tae manufacture thir ain sharp metal weapons ay destruction rather than have tae buy them fae the Army n Navy stores.
    Whin ah left ma trade n went tae college fir A Levels, then oantae Aberdeen University, ah half expected tae see Beggars at the freshers ball, beating tae a pulp some four–eyed, middle–class wanker he imagined wis starin at um.
    He really is a cunt ay the first order. Nae doubt about that. The big problem is, he's a mate n aw. Whit kin ye dae?
    We quicken our step and follay them doon the road; a quartet of fucked–up people thegither.

    A DISAPPOINTMENT

    Ah minded ay the cunt. Fuckin sure n ah did. Ah used tae think he wis a fuckin hard cunt, back it Craigie, ken? He fuckin hung aroond Wi Kev Stronach and that crowd. Fuckin bams. Dinnae git us wrong like; ah thoat the cunt wis fuckin sound. But ah mind, thir wis one