pale cheek.
“An astronaut,” he said, after thinking for a while.
Lisa wrote this down in her notebook. “I’ll be an astronaut too. We’ll make, like, a ton of money.” She took Joshua’s notebook and wrote
We are both astronauts!
“We could get on the same flights together or whatever,” she said. “We’ll be like this total
couple in space
.” She put her fluffy pen down and took a cherry Ricola from her purse and sucked on it while still holding it in her fingers. Together they glanced around the room. Joshua knew he’d gotten lucky. At least they were at the same level, socially. Not extremely popular, but not unpopular either. Many of the couples had not been so fortunate. People in drama and band and Knowledge Bowl had been paired up with heavyweights like Jordan Parker or Jessica Miller, who sat looking mortified. And Tom Halverson and Jason Kooda had had to agree to be married to each other, thanks to a shortage of girls.
“How many kids should we have?”
“Six.”
“No,” said Lisa, bobbing in her chair. “Like ten.” And then she wrote
ten
and underlined it twice.
He smiled at her. She was basically a cool, sweet, hot girl. Not perfect, but hot. Her body was one long noodle, tall and thin and flat, and all the clothes she wore accentuated that. It was not so unlikely that she was his wife. In seventh grade she’d been his girlfriend for two weeks, his longest relationship until he went out with Tammy Horner for six months last year. He and Lisa broke up because she thought they were getting too serious too fast during their afterschool, before track practice make-out sessions in the back of the dark band room where everyone went to make out, where Tammy Horner and Brian Hill had allegedly
gone all the way
a few months ago. Brian Hill was a pussy as far as Joshua was concerned, and nothing made him happier than the fact that Brian had been the biggest victim of “Life and Love and Work,” having been forced to draw a straw along with Tom Halverson and Jason Kooda and not only be married to someone who was not a girl, but in fact to someone who was Mr. Bradley.
“Okay, so seriously, we have to kick ass on this, Josh. I totally have to get an A.” Lisa opened the classified section of the
Star-Tribune
that they’d been given. They had to find a place to live that was financiallyfeasible in relation to their professions and number of children. Then they’d cut the ad out and paste it to a page and write all about why they chose that house and where it was located—they could say it was anywhere they wanted—and how much they paid in rent or mortgage and what percentage of their income that was, and how it met the needs of their family.
“I think we have to live in Florida, don’t we?” Lisa asked. “That’s where they take off.”
“Take off?”
“The astronauts—you know—the launching pad for the rockets is there.”
Joshua began to draw a spider with his pen onto his arm, onto the web. Without looking up he said, “We could live in Port St. Joe.”
“Where’s that?” asked Lisa, carefully ripping a jagged square out of the newspaper.
“Florida. I went on vacation there one time.”
Port St. Joe
, he wrote in his notebook and then took hers and wrote
Mr. and Mrs. Wood live happily ever after in Port St. Joe
.
“Hey, who said I was going to change my name?” Lisa asked, punching him in the arm. He grabbed her scrawny wrist and held on to it just hard enough that she couldn’t pull away. “Mr. Bradley! My husband’s abusing me,” she yelled. Her wrist was so soft, almost unreal. “
Mr. Bradley!
” she shrieked again, though he ignored her, engrossed in a conversation with Brian Hill. “I want a divorce,” she said, hitting Joshua with her free hand until he let her go.
Tammy Horner turned and rested her eyes on them for a moment and then turned away. Joshua’s heart lurched and then slowed and he cackled loud enough so she could hear, knowing that
“An astronaut,” he said, after thinking for a while.
Lisa wrote this down in her notebook. “I’ll be an astronaut too. We’ll make, like, a ton of money.” She took Joshua’s notebook and wrote
We are both astronauts!
“We could get on the same flights together or whatever,” she said. “We’ll be like this total
couple in space
.” She put her fluffy pen down and took a cherry Ricola from her purse and sucked on it while still holding it in her fingers. Together they glanced around the room. Joshua knew he’d gotten lucky. At least they were at the same level, socially. Not extremely popular, but not unpopular either. Many of the couples had not been so fortunate. People in drama and band and Knowledge Bowl had been paired up with heavyweights like Jordan Parker or Jessica Miller, who sat looking mortified. And Tom Halverson and Jason Kooda had had to agree to be married to each other, thanks to a shortage of girls.
“How many kids should we have?”
“Six.”
“No,” said Lisa, bobbing in her chair. “Like ten.” And then she wrote
ten
and underlined it twice.
He smiled at her. She was basically a cool, sweet, hot girl. Not perfect, but hot. Her body was one long noodle, tall and thin and flat, and all the clothes she wore accentuated that. It was not so unlikely that she was his wife. In seventh grade she’d been his girlfriend for two weeks, his longest relationship until he went out with Tammy Horner for six months last year. He and Lisa broke up because she thought they were getting too serious too fast during their afterschool, before track practice make-out sessions in the back of the dark band room where everyone went to make out, where Tammy Horner and Brian Hill had allegedly
gone all the way
a few months ago. Brian Hill was a pussy as far as Joshua was concerned, and nothing made him happier than the fact that Brian had been the biggest victim of “Life and Love and Work,” having been forced to draw a straw along with Tom Halverson and Jason Kooda and not only be married to someone who was not a girl, but in fact to someone who was Mr. Bradley.
“Okay, so seriously, we have to kick ass on this, Josh. I totally have to get an A.” Lisa opened the classified section of the
Star-Tribune
that they’d been given. They had to find a place to live that was financiallyfeasible in relation to their professions and number of children. Then they’d cut the ad out and paste it to a page and write all about why they chose that house and where it was located—they could say it was anywhere they wanted—and how much they paid in rent or mortgage and what percentage of their income that was, and how it met the needs of their family.
“I think we have to live in Florida, don’t we?” Lisa asked. “That’s where they take off.”
“Take off?”
“The astronauts—you know—the launching pad for the rockets is there.”
Joshua began to draw a spider with his pen onto his arm, onto the web. Without looking up he said, “We could live in Port St. Joe.”
“Where’s that?” asked Lisa, carefully ripping a jagged square out of the newspaper.
“Florida. I went on vacation there one time.”
Port St. Joe
, he wrote in his notebook and then took hers and wrote
Mr. and Mrs. Wood live happily ever after in Port St. Joe
.
“Hey, who said I was going to change my name?” Lisa asked, punching him in the arm. He grabbed her scrawny wrist and held on to it just hard enough that she couldn’t pull away. “Mr. Bradley! My husband’s abusing me,” she yelled. Her wrist was so soft, almost unreal. “
Mr. Bradley!
” she shrieked again, though he ignored her, engrossed in a conversation with Brian Hill. “I want a divorce,” she said, hitting Joshua with her free hand until he let her go.
Tammy Horner turned and rested her eyes on them for a moment and then turned away. Joshua’s heart lurched and then slowed and he cackled loud enough so she could hear, knowing that
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