then, to Kevin, ‘do you want to go back and have another look?’
He meant , to go back and get their thrills by perving on the body of the motorbike rider.
‘I’m going,’ I said, standing up and looking for the wire. I was disgusted with both of them.
Chapter Six
After that ugly moment I can hardly believe what I did next. But then again, who said humans are meant to be smart?
I think I’ll take the gutless way out and blame hormones. You can’t control your feelings, just your behaviour. And sometimes you can’t control your behaviour.
OK, here goes. I went to bed when we got back from the second raid on the motorbikes. It was close to three o’clock in the morning. Like I’d predicted, I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t have forced my eyes shut with a pair of pliers. I was lying there thinking about my great-grandmother Tommy, then about Ryan, then about the huge unexploded bomb we’d seen cordoned off in a street on the way back to the house, then about the soldier thumping into the tree, then about the wild and sickening race down the driveway to the fence.
Each thought was so vague, they were just wisps of smoke through my brain, no beginnings and no ends, one wisping into another.
I heard Lee’s voice next door, saying goodnight to Homer. Their voices rumbled away for a while but I couldn’t hear the words. I think I did then drift off into a little half-sleep, my daydreams mixing in with my sleep-dreams. I had a woollen blanket over me and it was prickling my skin, but I quite liked it. I started to feel warm inside and out, then hot and restless. I knew what I wanted, and for once I couldn’t be bothered analysing it or thinking about the negatives. My skin was so sensitive I could feel every little point of contact between my body and the blanket. I felt like my body was swollen, like everything was a little bigger than usual, though some parts more than others. I felt I was sailing in some sort of strange hot sea.
I knew Homer had gone when I heard him stomping downstairs, mumbling to himself, sounding like a tractor down a gully. I waited ten minutes or so, then got up, wrapped Grandma’s biggest towel around me, and padded down to Lee’s room. I slid the door open quietly. The room was quite dark: the only light came from the moon through the window. I liked the dim light. It laid a kind of golden touch on the carpet. Lee was sprawled across the double bed on his back and his skin looked kind of golden too. I smiled at the pyramid he’d erected under the old cotton sheet. Seemed like this wasn’t going to be too difficult. I let the towel slide off me, and even the sensation of that – the fabric touching me – gave me goose pimples.
I slipped in under the sheet. I had a feeling Lee was awake and when I felt the tension of his body I knew it. I rubbed his chest.
‘How would you like to find a gorgeous naked babe in your bed?’ I asked.
Without opening his eyes he said: ‘Well, I’ll settle for you in the meantime.’
I bit him sharply on the shoulder and he opened his eyes then. We wrestled like animals, twisting and turning and biting and growling, like kittens or puppies. Then there was a bit of a pause while I got the condom onto Lee. He said in surprise: ‘Where did you get that?’
‘Newsagent,’ I answered.
After a few minutes I got my legs around his hips and pretended I was squeezing him, but I knew I was just giving him his chance, letting him in. He was quick too. He had me pinned in a moment. I cried out so loudly I gave him a shock, but then he realised it wasn’t a cry of pain. It seemed like only seconds before we were both totally out of control, in convulsions.
Then, almost straightaway, we did it again, more slowly. It was nice. I heard myself whimpering as the moment approached, and although the convulsions were slower to start they seemed to go deeper. Like the foundations of my being were stirring and shifting and rumbling. Lee sounded kind of
He meant , to go back and get their thrills by perving on the body of the motorbike rider.
‘I’m going,’ I said, standing up and looking for the wire. I was disgusted with both of them.
Chapter Six
After that ugly moment I can hardly believe what I did next. But then again, who said humans are meant to be smart?
I think I’ll take the gutless way out and blame hormones. You can’t control your feelings, just your behaviour. And sometimes you can’t control your behaviour.
OK, here goes. I went to bed when we got back from the second raid on the motorbikes. It was close to three o’clock in the morning. Like I’d predicted, I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t have forced my eyes shut with a pair of pliers. I was lying there thinking about my great-grandmother Tommy, then about Ryan, then about the huge unexploded bomb we’d seen cordoned off in a street on the way back to the house, then about the soldier thumping into the tree, then about the wild and sickening race down the driveway to the fence.
Each thought was so vague, they were just wisps of smoke through my brain, no beginnings and no ends, one wisping into another.
I heard Lee’s voice next door, saying goodnight to Homer. Their voices rumbled away for a while but I couldn’t hear the words. I think I did then drift off into a little half-sleep, my daydreams mixing in with my sleep-dreams. I had a woollen blanket over me and it was prickling my skin, but I quite liked it. I started to feel warm inside and out, then hot and restless. I knew what I wanted, and for once I couldn’t be bothered analysing it or thinking about the negatives. My skin was so sensitive I could feel every little point of contact between my body and the blanket. I felt like my body was swollen, like everything was a little bigger than usual, though some parts more than others. I felt I was sailing in some sort of strange hot sea.
I knew Homer had gone when I heard him stomping downstairs, mumbling to himself, sounding like a tractor down a gully. I waited ten minutes or so, then got up, wrapped Grandma’s biggest towel around me, and padded down to Lee’s room. I slid the door open quietly. The room was quite dark: the only light came from the moon through the window. I liked the dim light. It laid a kind of golden touch on the carpet. Lee was sprawled across the double bed on his back and his skin looked kind of golden too. I smiled at the pyramid he’d erected under the old cotton sheet. Seemed like this wasn’t going to be too difficult. I let the towel slide off me, and even the sensation of that – the fabric touching me – gave me goose pimples.
I slipped in under the sheet. I had a feeling Lee was awake and when I felt the tension of his body I knew it. I rubbed his chest.
‘How would you like to find a gorgeous naked babe in your bed?’ I asked.
Without opening his eyes he said: ‘Well, I’ll settle for you in the meantime.’
I bit him sharply on the shoulder and he opened his eyes then. We wrestled like animals, twisting and turning and biting and growling, like kittens or puppies. Then there was a bit of a pause while I got the condom onto Lee. He said in surprise: ‘Where did you get that?’
‘Newsagent,’ I answered.
After a few minutes I got my legs around his hips and pretended I was squeezing him, but I knew I was just giving him his chance, letting him in. He was quick too. He had me pinned in a moment. I cried out so loudly I gave him a shock, but then he realised it wasn’t a cry of pain. It seemed like only seconds before we were both totally out of control, in convulsions.
Then, almost straightaway, we did it again, more slowly. It was nice. I heard myself whimpering as the moment approached, and although the convulsions were slower to start they seemed to go deeper. Like the foundations of my being were stirring and shifting and rumbling. Lee sounded kind of
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