Today's Embrace by Linda Lee Chaikin Page B

feel they were right. Wouldn’t they? They’d say it was awfully
soon
”
    Rogan made no comment.
    What is he thinking?
    â€œAnd, of course,” she continued a moment later, “it would be soon, I mean too soon. I mean—that Arcilla and Peter didn’t have a baby for two years—and Alice and Derwent, as well.”
    The wind blew around them, rustling the yellow and golden-red leaves.
    His fingers enclosed around her arm again, while his gaze held hers.
    â€œAre you?” he asked quietly.
    Her eyes faltered under his penetrating, heated gaze. Now was the moment. She must tell him. But why this way? She wanted to cry. The news should be a joyful moment as they embraced and loved each other, relishing what the great Creator had done, performing a miracle of life in her womb.
    She felt his intense gaze, his fingers tightening on her arm, and her own desperate desire not to let the news ruin her plans to go with him to Capetown.
    â€œI … I don’t, I hardly think so.”
    â€œThen why bring it up?” he clipped, his hand releasing her arm, as though irritated she’d introduced something so emotionally disturbing when there was no need.
    â€œI don’t know …” She was very tired now. She had withheld the truth from him and compromised. Now she felt disillusioned with herself and depressed.
    â€œYou’ve never mentioned how you’d feel about it if … if I were.” Her voice was but a whisper.
    His lashes narrowed. He studied her carefully. “How do you think I’d feel?”
    â€œHow should I know? You’ve never even hinted you knew babies existed.” She was getting angry now. Nothing was going as she wanted.Their relationship was already tarnished. She had withheld something precious that Rogan had every right to know.
    â€œMy dear,” he said in a labored voice, “I assure you I know babies exist and where the sweet little bunchkins come from. That doesn’t mean I want one this instant.”
    A pain flashed through her heart.
    She looked at him, searching his face, seeing little except frustration. She had done this to him; she knew that. She had handled matters badly.
    â€œI know you don’t,” she said stiffly. “Anyone can tell that.”
    â€œNow, wait a minute. What do you mean to suggest by that?”
    â€œI mean that you think I’m burden enough.” Feelings of self-pity bubbled up from her heart. “Me and my limp, my silly chatter, my inconsequential difficulties with your oh-so-beloved aunt. Oh yes, I know it all very well.”
    â€œEvy, what has come over you?” he gritted. “You’re … different.”
    â€œThat’s not true.” Was she? More sentimental perhaps? Was it physiological?
    â€œYou like provoking me into conflicts, is that it?”
    â€œConflicts? You think I want to have conflicts with you?”
    â€œI’m beginning to wonder,” he said coolly. “You keep pushing me against a wall, Evy, and if there’s one thing I don’t like, it’s being pushed.”
    Stunned that he would think that was what she was doing, she felt tears fill her eyes.
    â€œI’ll tell you what
you
want, Rogan Chantry. You want to be independent. You want marriage as it suits you. When it ceases to be that, you feel trapped. You want to go to South Africa without me. You have from the beginning.”
    The muscle in his jaw twitched. “Yes. Because what I need to do can best be done on my own without worrying about your safety.”
    â€œYou will always find an excuse to need to do something on your own without wishing to deal with a wife and baby! I know that now.”
    â€œYou know nothing of the sort. You’re hurling accusations wildly and not thinking about—”
    â€œI am thinking!”
    â€œDon’t interrupt me,” he gritted.
    â€œI think you’re sorry you married