To Sell Is Human: The Surprising Truth About Moving Others by Daniel H. Pink Page B

more substantive grounding than mere affirmation.
    In other words, ask and you shall receive.
    Monitor your positivity ratio.
    It’s the golden mean of well-being, the magic formula for flourishing, the secret numerical code of the satisfied: 3 to 1. What can you do to ensure your balance between positive and negative emotions reaches that elusive ratio?
    One way to begin is to visit Barbara Fredrickson’s website (http://positivityratio.com/). Take her “Positivity Self Test”—a twenty-question assessment you can complete in two or three minutes that will yield your current positivity ratio. Then establish a free account and track your ratio over time. (You can find background on the test in Fredrickson’s book, Positivity: Top-Notch Research Reveals the 3 to 1 Ratio That Will Change Your Life , an excellent popular introduction to her academic work.)
    In addition, be more conscious of your emotions in the moment. In fact, try listing Fredrickson’s ten positive emotions—joy, gratitude, serenity, interest, hope, pride, amusement, inspiration, awe, and love—on your phone, computer, or office wall. Select one or two. Then in the course of the day, look for ways to display those emotions. This will give you a psychic boost, lift up the people around you, and increase your chances of moving others. Am I sure? I’m positive.
    Tweak your explanatory style.
    Martin Seligman’s work has demonstrated that how we explain negative events has an enormous effect on our buoyancy and ultimately our performance. Start revamping your explanatory style in ways science has shown are effective.
    When something bad occurs, ask yourself three questions—and come up with an intelligent way to answer each one “no”:
1. Is this permanent?
Bad response: “Yes. I’ve completely lost my skill for moving others.”
Better response: “No. I was flat today because I haven’t been getting enough sleep.”
2. Is this pervasive?
Bad response: “Yes. Everyone in this industry is impossible to deal with.”
Better response: “No. This particular guy was a jerk.”
3. Is this personal?
Bad response: “Yes. The reason he didn’t buy is that I messed up my presentation.”
Better response: “No. My presentation could have been better, but the real reason he passed is that he wasn’t ready to buy right now.”
    The more you explain bad events as temporary , specific , and external , the more likely you are to persist even in the face of adversity.
    As some positive psychologists have put it, the key is to “dispute” and “de-catastrophize” negative explanations. To dispute, confront each explanation the way a sharp lawyer would cross-examine a witness. Poke holes in its story. Question its premises. Identify internal contradictions. To de-catastrophize, ask yourself: What are the overall consequences and why are those consequences not nearly as calamitous as they seem on the surface?
    For more information, visit Seligman’s website (http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/Default.aspx), and take his Optimism Test to get a sense of your current style. And check out his classic book, Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life .
    Try the “enumerate and embrace” strategy.
    One way to remain buoyant is to acquire a more realistic sense of what can actually sink you. You can do that by counting your rejections—and then celebrating them. It’s a strategy I call “enumerate and embrace.”
    1. Enumerate.
    Try actually counting the nos you get during a week. Use one of the many free counter apps available for smartphones and tally every time your efforts to move others meet with resistance. (You analog types can use a small notebook and pen, which work just as well.)
    By the end of the week, you might be surprised by just how many nos the world has delivered to your doorstep. However, you might be more surprised by something else: You’re still around. Even in that weeklong ocean of rejection, you’ve still