him out in front of a firing squad and shot him. You know what? It didn’t do a damned thing to win the war for us, and neither would sending you out to die have done.” Hesitantly, Matthew reached out his good arm to lay it once more around George’s shoulder. “He wasn’t a coward, George, and neither are you.”
To his shame, George found that he was weeping. “My family—my family thinks otherwise. My mother said that I was a disgrace to the family name, and my father won’t even speak to me. Two of my cousins—girls I’d danced with in happier times—they sent me white feathers.”
Matthew squeezed his shoulders tightly. “They’re women, George, and your father’s a man past enlistment age. They didn’t have to fight, thank God. You can’t expect them to understand what it’s like.”
George gave a brittle laugh. “The men at the gaol were just as bad—and worse.”
He felt Matthew’s head come to rest on his shoulder. “There were a lot of beastly things done in the war. I’m just sorry you had to suffer any of it.” Matthew’s breath was warm on George’s neck, but for some reason, it made George shiver.
“You shouldn’t be the one to comfort me,” he whispered. “You lost so much in the war. I should be comforting you.”
“Maybe we should comfort each other,” Matthew whispered back. George froze as the weight of Matthew’s head lifted from his shoulder, and soft lips pressed a gentle kiss to the side of his neck. Matthew’s arm slipped from George’s shoulder to wrap around his waist. “Is that all right, George? I’ve been wanting to kiss you for so long. It is what you want too, isn’t it?”
Chapter Ten
George lay on his bed, his insides all knotted up with guilt and shame. He’d gabbled something even he hadn’t understood and fairly bolted for the haven of his bedroom, locking the door behind him.
Matthew hadn’t knocked upon it. George wasn’t sure if he was glad or sorry. God, how could he have let the man kiss him like that, when he was supposed to be here to spy upon him? What if Matthew had been the man to betray Hugh to his death? Every instinct in George cried out against it—but what the hell did he know for sure?
And what the hell had Matthew been thinking of, embracing him in Mrs. Mac’s sitting room like that? Had the man no sense of self-preservation whatsoever? She or Miss Lewis could have walked in at any moment! Then they’d have been out on their ears, and lucky if she didn’t have the police on them. George felt sick to his stomach at the thought of going back to prison.
Or of Matthew going to gaol, either—which was pure idiocy, as wasn’t that what he was working towards, here, should the man prove to have betrayed his country?
Although, now he came to think of it, Miss Lewis had been working a late shift, and Mrs. Mac out visiting her sister, who was unwell. So perhaps Matthew’s actions hadn’t been so very reckless, after all… Good God. Could Matthew have planned it all? And if he had, what might have been his motives? Simple seduction—or the cold calculation of a spy?
No. No, it couldn’t be. Matthew had shown such sympathy towards him, such lack of condemnation on the heels of George’s shameful confession. Surely such a man was incapable of being so devious? His mind was whirling, a maelstrom of conflicting thoughts. That kiss had left him feverish, heady with the discovery that Matthew was a man of his own tastes. He hardly knew what to feel about it.
Unable to settle, George hauled himself back to his feet and paced. He wished—God, how he wished—that he had someone to talk to. If only Mabel were here. They’d never spoken of his romantic leanings towards men, Mabel and he, but he rather thought she knew. As a nurse, she was no sheltered young lady. She’d no more seen the horrors of war firsthand than he had, but she’d seen the wrecks of men who came back from the Front. She’d understand, he was sure.
Or
To his shame, George found that he was weeping. “My family—my family thinks otherwise. My mother said that I was a disgrace to the family name, and my father won’t even speak to me. Two of my cousins—girls I’d danced with in happier times—they sent me white feathers.”
Matthew squeezed his shoulders tightly. “They’re women, George, and your father’s a man past enlistment age. They didn’t have to fight, thank God. You can’t expect them to understand what it’s like.”
George gave a brittle laugh. “The men at the gaol were just as bad—and worse.”
He felt Matthew’s head come to rest on his shoulder. “There were a lot of beastly things done in the war. I’m just sorry you had to suffer any of it.” Matthew’s breath was warm on George’s neck, but for some reason, it made George shiver.
“You shouldn’t be the one to comfort me,” he whispered. “You lost so much in the war. I should be comforting you.”
“Maybe we should comfort each other,” Matthew whispered back. George froze as the weight of Matthew’s head lifted from his shoulder, and soft lips pressed a gentle kiss to the side of his neck. Matthew’s arm slipped from George’s shoulder to wrap around his waist. “Is that all right, George? I’ve been wanting to kiss you for so long. It is what you want too, isn’t it?”
Chapter Ten
George lay on his bed, his insides all knotted up with guilt and shame. He’d gabbled something even he hadn’t understood and fairly bolted for the haven of his bedroom, locking the door behind him.
Matthew hadn’t knocked upon it. George wasn’t sure if he was glad or sorry. God, how could he have let the man kiss him like that, when he was supposed to be here to spy upon him? What if Matthew had been the man to betray Hugh to his death? Every instinct in George cried out against it—but what the hell did he know for sure?
And what the hell had Matthew been thinking of, embracing him in Mrs. Mac’s sitting room like that? Had the man no sense of self-preservation whatsoever? She or Miss Lewis could have walked in at any moment! Then they’d have been out on their ears, and lucky if she didn’t have the police on them. George felt sick to his stomach at the thought of going back to prison.
Or of Matthew going to gaol, either—which was pure idiocy, as wasn’t that what he was working towards, here, should the man prove to have betrayed his country?
Although, now he came to think of it, Miss Lewis had been working a late shift, and Mrs. Mac out visiting her sister, who was unwell. So perhaps Matthew’s actions hadn’t been so very reckless, after all… Good God. Could Matthew have planned it all? And if he had, what might have been his motives? Simple seduction—or the cold calculation of a spy?
No. No, it couldn’t be. Matthew had shown such sympathy towards him, such lack of condemnation on the heels of George’s shameful confession. Surely such a man was incapable of being so devious? His mind was whirling, a maelstrom of conflicting thoughts. That kiss had left him feverish, heady with the discovery that Matthew was a man of his own tastes. He hardly knew what to feel about it.
Unable to settle, George hauled himself back to his feet and paced. He wished—God, how he wished—that he had someone to talk to. If only Mabel were here. They’d never spoken of his romantic leanings towards men, Mabel and he, but he rather thought she knew. As a nurse, she was no sheltered young lady. She’d no more seen the horrors of war firsthand than he had, but she’d seen the wrecks of men who came back from the Front. She’d understand, he was sure.
Or
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