again. Tears threatened to fall and he didn’t want anyone to see him like this. Weak, insecure, stupid. “I can’t let her go, sir. It’ll only make things worse.”
“The way I understood it, Moore, there’s not much choice in the matter.”
“I know.” Derek pressed his forehead against the window once more. The sensation of defeat washed over him as he closed his eyes. “If she goes, I’ll lose her forever.”
Flint settled in one of the chairs beside where he stood. Derek opened his eyes and stared at his superior officer, a man he’d known and trusted for years. Jonathan’s face betrayed no emotion, his features were completely passive, yet Derek wondered how much disappointment swam under the surface.
“Isn’t that what you wanted? Divorce usually means asking to be apart, forever.”
There it was. Derek shook his head, though he knew the denial was useless. A vision of Evelyn’s face, stunned and tear streaked, appeared before his eyes. “I’m so fucking stupid.”
Flint shrugged, his face still stoic. “I’m not going to argue that. Eva’s a hell of a woman. Good cook, faithful, not bad on the eyes. I have to admit, half the chain of command wanted to know what the hell you were thinking.”
“I wasn’t.” Derek met Jonathan’s gaze, hoping the man could see the truth.
“Landers has been removed from duty until further notice and is now under investigation. You’re not the first time something like this has occurred with her.”
He flinched at hearing his therapist’s name. The thought of the woman left a foul sensation in his mind and taste in his mouth. How strange, he mused, that it was the same woman who had convinced him to leave his wife. The same woman he’d been having an affair with for almost a month now. An emotional affair, nothing physical had ever happened between them, but an affair just the same.
Now, because of the affair, because of Toni Landers, because of his stupidity, the woman he loved was fighting to lie down and die. Derek had no one to blame but himself, really. He could have stopped the whole thing at any point, could have honored his vows. Hearing that Toni—no, Landers—apparently made a practice of this only made him feel sicker.
“Listen.” Flint took out some papers from the side pocket of his BDUs and unfolded them. “You two have been through hell these past few months. Both you and Landers claim the affair wasn’t physical, and you’ve never had any infractions before. I had a talk with the chain of command and I routed this for you tonight, just after you called and said you were taking Eva to the hospital.”
Derek took the offered papers with a shaking hand. He stared at the print, attempting to read the chit despite the fact the text was blurring before his eyes. “Sir?”
“It’s a leave chit. A conditional leave chit. You’ve been granted emergency leave to accompany your wife to a special care facility. They have the means there to treat your wife…and you.” Flint paused and stared out the window. The silence lingered so long, Derek began to wonder if Jonathan was waiting for him to speak. “I really hope you two can work through this, Moore.”
“Thank you.” Derek shot Flint what he knew was a half-hearted smile.
Chapter Two
Evelyn lifted her head and flinched at the bright sunlight that caressed her face. Her head ached, a dull pressure that caused her to reach up and pat her temples. To her relief, there wasn’t some strange device squeezing her head. It simply felt like there was.
She blinked in an attempt to clear up her blurred vision and center her thoughts. Where is Derek? For that matter, where am I?
Another wave of dizziness and pain marched through her skull. Evelyn leaned back against the pillow and closed her eyes. As the pain decreased, she searched her memories for some clue as to what was going on. Bits and pieces came back, slow and stilted.
The pain as needles bit into her
“The way I understood it, Moore, there’s not much choice in the matter.”
“I know.” Derek pressed his forehead against the window once more. The sensation of defeat washed over him as he closed his eyes. “If she goes, I’ll lose her forever.”
Flint settled in one of the chairs beside where he stood. Derek opened his eyes and stared at his superior officer, a man he’d known and trusted for years. Jonathan’s face betrayed no emotion, his features were completely passive, yet Derek wondered how much disappointment swam under the surface.
“Isn’t that what you wanted? Divorce usually means asking to be apart, forever.”
There it was. Derek shook his head, though he knew the denial was useless. A vision of Evelyn’s face, stunned and tear streaked, appeared before his eyes. “I’m so fucking stupid.”
Flint shrugged, his face still stoic. “I’m not going to argue that. Eva’s a hell of a woman. Good cook, faithful, not bad on the eyes. I have to admit, half the chain of command wanted to know what the hell you were thinking.”
“I wasn’t.” Derek met Jonathan’s gaze, hoping the man could see the truth.
“Landers has been removed from duty until further notice and is now under investigation. You’re not the first time something like this has occurred with her.”
He flinched at hearing his therapist’s name. The thought of the woman left a foul sensation in his mind and taste in his mouth. How strange, he mused, that it was the same woman who had convinced him to leave his wife. The same woman he’d been having an affair with for almost a month now. An emotional affair, nothing physical had ever happened between them, but an affair just the same.
Now, because of the affair, because of Toni Landers, because of his stupidity, the woman he loved was fighting to lie down and die. Derek had no one to blame but himself, really. He could have stopped the whole thing at any point, could have honored his vows. Hearing that Toni—no, Landers—apparently made a practice of this only made him feel sicker.
“Listen.” Flint took out some papers from the side pocket of his BDUs and unfolded them. “You two have been through hell these past few months. Both you and Landers claim the affair wasn’t physical, and you’ve never had any infractions before. I had a talk with the chain of command and I routed this for you tonight, just after you called and said you were taking Eva to the hospital.”
Derek took the offered papers with a shaking hand. He stared at the print, attempting to read the chit despite the fact the text was blurring before his eyes. “Sir?”
“It’s a leave chit. A conditional leave chit. You’ve been granted emergency leave to accompany your wife to a special care facility. They have the means there to treat your wife…and you.” Flint paused and stared out the window. The silence lingered so long, Derek began to wonder if Jonathan was waiting for him to speak. “I really hope you two can work through this, Moore.”
“Thank you.” Derek shot Flint what he knew was a half-hearted smile.
Chapter Two
Evelyn lifted her head and flinched at the bright sunlight that caressed her face. Her head ached, a dull pressure that caused her to reach up and pat her temples. To her relief, there wasn’t some strange device squeezing her head. It simply felt like there was.
She blinked in an attempt to clear up her blurred vision and center her thoughts. Where is Derek? For that matter, where am I?
Another wave of dizziness and pain marched through her skull. Evelyn leaned back against the pillow and closed her eyes. As the pain decreased, she searched her memories for some clue as to what was going on. Bits and pieces came back, slow and stilted.
The pain as needles bit into her
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