much the same as arranged marriages. Only she wasn’t sure the two of them could ever have the relationships she’d witnessed with other mates. Would they ever fall in love with each other? Or would it always be the connection of their beasts that kept them together?
* * *
When Styx referred to the ups and downs as a war of raging emotions, he wasn’t underestimating it. That’s what it felt like. Every time he thought he had things under control, his thoughts would carry him away again, back into the past, bringing a new wave of doubts before him. If she was to be his, then she’d have to accept what he came from, and the only way to do that was for her to see it for herself.
“Are you ready?”
“As ready as I’m going to be.” She started to tug up her sweater, but he placed his hand over hers, stopping her.
“You’re nervous. Just take a deep breath and let it out. Let your tigress lead the way and stop thinking like a human. If we’re heading to Connecticut soon, we don’t have time to get to know each other better and take our time to come to this point. We’ve got to take the leap of faith, and know that it will be better on the other side.”
She did as he asked, and after a few deep breaths her body began to relax. He wrapped his hand around her wrist and pulled her up until she was standing before him, the fronts of their bodies touching. “We’re going to take it slow, and if you want to stop just say so. This is somewhat an unusual mating, what with the rush, so we need to trust in our destinies and our tigers.”
“What lies in my future couldn’t be worse than where I’ve come from.”
He hoped that was true but a vindictive Alpha might have been more doable than what she will see in his past once the mating bond has formed. With a vindictive Alpha there were ways around that and ways to stay out of his path of torture. On the other hand with a mate she was stuck with him. Even if she was appalled by what she saw within him, her beast wouldn’t give up what was between them.
“Don’t look at me like you’re expecting me to run screaming from the room.” She placed her hand on his arm, just above the elbow. “We both have things from our past that we’re not proud of, but we’ll get through it. It’s not like we have a choice.”
“Just because the mating bond would be in place, it doesn’t mean it would be a happy mating. You could despise me and not be able to stand the sight of me. That would be worse…” He stopped himself before he could finish. It might be worse than anything he’d encountered in his past, but he wasn’t willing to show how much he wanted someone to accept him. Not even to his mate.
“Let’s get this over with.”
He didn’t like the sound of that, as if she had already decided this wasn’t going to work, but he was willing to risk the mating bond in order to get her back to her brother and clan. “If you want to go home, maybe the distance will keep the pain from the denied mating away.”
“Second thoughts? You know the distance won’t help, and the first twinges of pain from this mating can already be felt. The longer we put this off, the worse it will be.” She raised an eyebrow at him in question. “Or is the assassin afraid of what he might find hidden behind the shell of his mate?”
“No.” His tone was harsher than he intended because of the way she taunted him with the word assassin . It was his former life, something he wasn’t proud of, and he didn’t want to be reminded of it.
“We’re both exhausted, so we need to do this.”
He stopped hesitating and threw caution to the wind. Mate or suffer the consequences. Slowly, he slid his hand up her arm and watched as the heat from the simple touch brought the change in her eyes. Her tigress edged closer to the surface, lighting the orangey glow within her eyes, and turning the smoky blue into a fiery orange.
He cupped the back of her head, tangling his fingers into the
* * *
When Styx referred to the ups and downs as a war of raging emotions, he wasn’t underestimating it. That’s what it felt like. Every time he thought he had things under control, his thoughts would carry him away again, back into the past, bringing a new wave of doubts before him. If she was to be his, then she’d have to accept what he came from, and the only way to do that was for her to see it for herself.
“Are you ready?”
“As ready as I’m going to be.” She started to tug up her sweater, but he placed his hand over hers, stopping her.
“You’re nervous. Just take a deep breath and let it out. Let your tigress lead the way and stop thinking like a human. If we’re heading to Connecticut soon, we don’t have time to get to know each other better and take our time to come to this point. We’ve got to take the leap of faith, and know that it will be better on the other side.”
She did as he asked, and after a few deep breaths her body began to relax. He wrapped his hand around her wrist and pulled her up until she was standing before him, the fronts of their bodies touching. “We’re going to take it slow, and if you want to stop just say so. This is somewhat an unusual mating, what with the rush, so we need to trust in our destinies and our tigers.”
“What lies in my future couldn’t be worse than where I’ve come from.”
He hoped that was true but a vindictive Alpha might have been more doable than what she will see in his past once the mating bond has formed. With a vindictive Alpha there were ways around that and ways to stay out of his path of torture. On the other hand with a mate she was stuck with him. Even if she was appalled by what she saw within him, her beast wouldn’t give up what was between them.
“Don’t look at me like you’re expecting me to run screaming from the room.” She placed her hand on his arm, just above the elbow. “We both have things from our past that we’re not proud of, but we’ll get through it. It’s not like we have a choice.”
“Just because the mating bond would be in place, it doesn’t mean it would be a happy mating. You could despise me and not be able to stand the sight of me. That would be worse…” He stopped himself before he could finish. It might be worse than anything he’d encountered in his past, but he wasn’t willing to show how much he wanted someone to accept him. Not even to his mate.
“Let’s get this over with.”
He didn’t like the sound of that, as if she had already decided this wasn’t going to work, but he was willing to risk the mating bond in order to get her back to her brother and clan. “If you want to go home, maybe the distance will keep the pain from the denied mating away.”
“Second thoughts? You know the distance won’t help, and the first twinges of pain from this mating can already be felt. The longer we put this off, the worse it will be.” She raised an eyebrow at him in question. “Or is the assassin afraid of what he might find hidden behind the shell of his mate?”
“No.” His tone was harsher than he intended because of the way she taunted him with the word assassin . It was his former life, something he wasn’t proud of, and he didn’t want to be reminded of it.
“We’re both exhausted, so we need to do this.”
He stopped hesitating and threw caution to the wind. Mate or suffer the consequences. Slowly, he slid his hand up her arm and watched as the heat from the simple touch brought the change in her eyes. Her tigress edged closer to the surface, lighting the orangey glow within her eyes, and turning the smoky blue into a fiery orange.
He cupped the back of her head, tangling his fingers into the
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