thecrinkled text. She looked at the picture and then looked up at me. Her eyes were wide with shock. She put her head back down to read the story. I watched her as her eyes moved back and forth across the page. She turned the page to read the “continued” part.
“Good pancakes, Sarah,” Nick said.
I glanced over at him in total disbelief. He was eating away like nothing was wrong.
“Explain this to me. How could this happen?” my mom demanded.
“Nice picture, isn’t it?” Nick commented.
“Be quiet. Sarah, explain this to me this instant! I want to know how you could let this happen. I leave you to care for your brother and you put both him and yourself at risk. I am disappointed in you. Very, very disappointed!”
“I’m sorry,” I started to say, but then stopped. “
You’re
disappointed in
me
?”
“Yes, disappointed in you. I would expect something like this from your brother or even your father, but not from you.”
“So,” I swallowed hard. “So, if they did it, then it would be okay?”
“Don’t be silly, Sarah!” she replied with her voice getting louder. “It wouldn’t be okay if anybody did what you two did.”
“I am so sorry I disappointed you,” I said, imitatingmy mother’s voice. “It’s so unlike anybody in this house to disappoint anybody else.”
“Don’t you talk to me like that!” she shrilled. “I expect you to be more responsible.”
“Yeah, right,” I answered under my breath. I was thinking about how “responsible” it was for her to drag us halfway across the country and turn our lives upside down.
“Don’t talk to me with that tone of voice!” my mother ordered.
“I’m sorry, I just need to …” I got up and started walking away.
“Sarah! Come back here and sit down this instant! I’m not finished talking to you!” Mom yelled.
I thought about what she said, but turned and ran through the door, up the stairs and into my room, where I buried my face in my pillow. I waited in my room, listening in silence. Part of me wanted her to leave me alone and the other part wanted her to come up and try to talk, but I knew she wouldn’t be coming. My mother’s way of dealing with any disagreement was to ignore it and hope it went away. One thing she said, though, was very right. I did need to talk. I just didn’t need to talk to her.
I got up from my bed and moved across the room. There was no noise except for the creaking of the floor under my steps. Going down the stairs I could hear theTV. The door to my mother’s office was closed, which meant she was in there working or hiding away so she didn’t have to deal with it right now. There was a chance she’d stay in there all day, only coming out for coffee. I moved across the kitchen, grabbed my coat off the hook and left the house.
As soon as I got out of sight of the house I started walking in the tall weeds that grew in the ditch. I knew she didn’t know I was gone yet, but I wanted to make sure she couldn’t find me if she came looking. I wasn’t going to be found until I was good and ready to be found.
Soon I climbed out of the ditch and went into the grove of trees. I moved aimlessly at first, just trying to get away. I had to make a big curve around to get to Mr. McCurdy’s without walking too close to our house. There was a fallen log up ahead, blocking the path, and I started to run faster to gain enough speed to leap over it. I jumped, but one foot caught on the very top of the fallen tree and I tripped, landing face first into the soft dirt on the other side. I stood up and dusted myself off. My left elbow hurt. I sat down on the log and rolled up my sleeve to check the damage. It looked fine.
As I sat there my mother’s words came rolling back. My tongue felt thick and my bottom jaw was beginning to tremble. “I’m not going to cry,” I said softly to myself. “I’m not going to cry.” Before the last word was out ofmy mouth, the tears exploded.
I got up and started
“Good pancakes, Sarah,” Nick said.
I glanced over at him in total disbelief. He was eating away like nothing was wrong.
“Explain this to me. How could this happen?” my mom demanded.
“Nice picture, isn’t it?” Nick commented.
“Be quiet. Sarah, explain this to me this instant! I want to know how you could let this happen. I leave you to care for your brother and you put both him and yourself at risk. I am disappointed in you. Very, very disappointed!”
“I’m sorry,” I started to say, but then stopped. “
You’re
disappointed in
me
?”
“Yes, disappointed in you. I would expect something like this from your brother or even your father, but not from you.”
“So,” I swallowed hard. “So, if they did it, then it would be okay?”
“Don’t be silly, Sarah!” she replied with her voice getting louder. “It wouldn’t be okay if anybody did what you two did.”
“I am so sorry I disappointed you,” I said, imitatingmy mother’s voice. “It’s so unlike anybody in this house to disappoint anybody else.”
“Don’t you talk to me like that!” she shrilled. “I expect you to be more responsible.”
“Yeah, right,” I answered under my breath. I was thinking about how “responsible” it was for her to drag us halfway across the country and turn our lives upside down.
“Don’t talk to me with that tone of voice!” my mother ordered.
“I’m sorry, I just need to …” I got up and started walking away.
“Sarah! Come back here and sit down this instant! I’m not finished talking to you!” Mom yelled.
I thought about what she said, but turned and ran through the door, up the stairs and into my room, where I buried my face in my pillow. I waited in my room, listening in silence. Part of me wanted her to leave me alone and the other part wanted her to come up and try to talk, but I knew she wouldn’t be coming. My mother’s way of dealing with any disagreement was to ignore it and hope it went away. One thing she said, though, was very right. I did need to talk. I just didn’t need to talk to her.
I got up from my bed and moved across the room. There was no noise except for the creaking of the floor under my steps. Going down the stairs I could hear theTV. The door to my mother’s office was closed, which meant she was in there working or hiding away so she didn’t have to deal with it right now. There was a chance she’d stay in there all day, only coming out for coffee. I moved across the kitchen, grabbed my coat off the hook and left the house.
As soon as I got out of sight of the house I started walking in the tall weeds that grew in the ditch. I knew she didn’t know I was gone yet, but I wanted to make sure she couldn’t find me if she came looking. I wasn’t going to be found until I was good and ready to be found.
Soon I climbed out of the ditch and went into the grove of trees. I moved aimlessly at first, just trying to get away. I had to make a big curve around to get to Mr. McCurdy’s without walking too close to our house. There was a fallen log up ahead, blocking the path, and I started to run faster to gain enough speed to leap over it. I jumped, but one foot caught on the very top of the fallen tree and I tripped, landing face first into the soft dirt on the other side. I stood up and dusted myself off. My left elbow hurt. I sat down on the log and rolled up my sleeve to check the damage. It looked fine.
As I sat there my mother’s words came rolling back. My tongue felt thick and my bottom jaw was beginning to tremble. “I’m not going to cry,” I said softly to myself. “I’m not going to cry.” Before the last word was out ofmy mouth, the tears exploded.
I got up and started
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