Ties That Bind by Natalie R. Collins Page A

children in the Celestial Kingdom. Never again touching a woman. Never again feeling skin against skin. Never touching Sam’s quivering upper lip.
    His heart pounded in his chest as he dropped his head into his hands and considered his dilemma. Sam had become his problem. His obstacle in the pathway leading to his Savior’s kingdom.
    What was he supposed to do? Continue to get up every day and shower, shave, and get dressed. Go to work. Teach teenage children the principles of the Mormon Gospel and when they asked him questions answer like he knew the secrets of God’s kingdom.
    He was a lonely, flawed man, responsible for his wife’s death and desirous of activities treacherous to his eternal salvation.
    Or so the teachings said.
    Do I believe this doctrine? It’s all I’ve ever known. Sometimes I wonder. Sometimes I wonder how it could be this way. And I know my questioning of my faith, alone, is a great travesty. I don’t know how to change this.
    What he did know was he loved his wife. He had treasured her.
    And he’d killed her.

 
    FOURTEEN
    Ruthie Montgomery, never terribly compliant, was in no hurry to move. It took quite a while for them to get her to leave the base of the tree, and one of the patrolmen insisted they should call the paramedics, even though Sam’s father insisted that Ruthie’s lack of response was a normal state.
    “Dad, maybe she should be checked out in the hospital.”
    “Sammy, this is ridiculous; she comes out here several times a week. I keep telling you kids she is still in there, and no one listens. Well, this is just an example.”
    “Then maybe this is a good sign, Dad, and if we get her help, maybe she’ll really come back to us. Isn’t that what you want?”
    He stood, silent and staring, his face only half-lit by the bright spotlight he had turned on to light the backyard. The rest of his profile hid in mistrust and anger, and maybe a little bit of fear. He’d been living this way for so long, if things were to change, what would happen to him? Sam wondered if he would even be able to cope with it.
    “Dad, please. Let’s get her checked out. She called my house tonight. Called it. Found the phone number, somewhere, and called. That’s progress.”
    Her father stayed silent. Sam felt tears well up in her eyes, and she closed them tightly, not willing to cry in front of these patrolmen she outranked. It was hard enough to be the only woman on the squad, but any sign of weakness would be the crack through which the derision and disdain would enter. Bad enough she stood before them barely clothed.
    “Sammy,” her father said, his voice gentle. “That will cost money, and that’s something we don’t have a lot of. Medicare only pays so much. There is always something left over for me. And I don’t have it.” Her mother’s condition had forced Sam’s father’s early retirement from his civilian job at Hill Air Force Base, and she knew that finances were a constant concern. The Church had stepped in to help many times, especially when she was growing up and still dependent on her parents for her basic needs. Hand-me-downs. Church welfare. The bishop’s storehouse. A large lump formed in Sam’s throat and she wanted to scream, to yell, to fight, to do anything to remove it. She didn’t want anyone’s pity, but she saw it clearly on the faces of the two patrolmen.
    She shook her head angrily and glared at the one she knew as Traydar. So called because he had a sense for when someone would be speeding up Kanesville’s main east–west road and he made a lot of revenue for the town. His name was Trey Olsen.
    He looked away hastily, unsure why he was the victim of this particular glare, not knowing Sam was just protecting herself, her family, her reputation.
    She steeled herself for her father’s reaction, and the resulting pity and sympathy she would feel from the two patrolmen who had been forced into this highly personal drama.
    “Dad, I’ll pay for it.