One day, he’d tell her what it meant to him. One day, he’d explain to her that she’d been his north star, and why. But in the meantime, he had to face the fact that she’d left him the thing that had saved him, and he’d left her with nothing but a bad memory and some emotional scars.
And she didn’t even paint anymore.
That had hit Jackson like an actual punch to the gut. She didn’t paint. He was probably the only person on the planet who knew what that meant. The way Ava had said it, it had seemed like even she didn’t know what it meant, like it had been so long that she’d forgotten.
“Jackson!” she called from behind him, and he stopped and turned to see that she was actually panting a little, her chest heaving up and down in that low cut sweater. He’d practically run them through this big old house, just looking for a place where they could be alone together with no memories of anyone else. They were in an old hallway in one of the wings—some unused part of the house, judging by the faded wallpaper and the dust in the corners. Ava was looking at him funny.
“What is wrong with you?” she said, brushing her auburn hair out of her face. “What was that about?”
She really didn’t seem think it was at all strange that she would announce that she didn’t paint. It made the distance between them suddenly vast and imposing, and Jackson couldn’t stand it.
“I need you,” he said.
She looked up at him. “What?”
“Now,” he said, and pushed her against the wall. She grunted a little when her back hit the wall, and her hair fell back in front of her face. He pushed it out of the way and kissed her, hard.
He did what he wanted. He reached up under the brand new sweater to feel her breasts, pushing it up over her chest and unhooking her bra from the front. Then she was out in the open, disheveled looking, and it made him instantly hard. He bent down to take a sweet nipple in his mouth, and let his hands rove over her body until he found the hem of her skirt. He pushed it up over her hips, not caring that they were out in a hallway, not caring about anything at all besides pushing aside her panties and getting inside her.
“Jackson—”
He didn’t want to talk for once, didn’t want any more words to remind him of all the time that had passed, of all the things that had happened to her that he would never know about. He only wanted to be close to her. He covered her mouth with his and pushed his finger inside her, curling it the way she liked. He felt her bear down, and she moaned. She was already so goddamn wet, it was incredible.
He couldn’t wait another second. He ripped at the zipper on his pants while she threw her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder.
“Oh God,” she said, so softly he almost didn’t hear it.
And then he was out, his cock so hard it pulsed. He reached down and scooped her up into the air, so light he didn’t even need the wall, and held her just above him while she wrapped her legs around him.
She touched his face and he lowered her onto his cock, filling her until she closed her eyes and sighed.
Then he dug his fingers into her flesh, pinned her against the wall, and drove into her until she came convulsing around him, drawing out his orgasm with great, shuddering breaths.
~ ~ ~
It wasn’t until after they’d eaten lunch and gone on a walk around the grounds that Jackson figured out what he needed to do.
They were walking down the stone steps that led to an old quarry that had been fashioned into a pond that froze over reliably in winter when Jackson realized he was looking over his shoulder for Lillian. That sucked. He didn’t want to be thinking about anything or anyone but Ava, but here he was, worried that Lillian would show up and give Ava the wrong impression. Again. Frankly, he was worried about dealing with Lillian, and about what that meant for the launch, but Ava was his priority.
And he was concerned about
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