food into my body as I could possibly allow. I don’t know why I didn’t think about this before, but it didn’t matter. It was in my stomach now while my belly was distending further and further the more I put into it.
Even though it wasn’t that much, I was already starting to hurt from overeating.
I didn’t care about saving more for later. The thought didn’t even cross my mind before I was surrounded by empty packets; each one licked clean and still no prospect of food for tomorrow.
Although, I wouldn’t think about that now. It wasn’t worth it to worry about tomorrow; today I had found food and that’s what mattered.
Right now I would focus on the uncomfortable pain from having eaten so much, the way my stomach stood out comically from my rib cage. It felt good to have food inside of me. I could already feel my body responding to it; not with energy, more just in comfort. I could sit and smile like a happy, fat man all day; except I wasn’t a happy fat man, I was an emaciated twenty-year-old. Either way, I was still comfortable and that’s really all that mattered.
I smiled and licked my lips, wishing I was tasting something besides the moldy gruel, yet savoring the last little bit that hit my stomach anyway.
I looked around me, partially wanting to search for more empty packets to lick, however I knew that, at the very least, I needed to save something for tomorrow. As much as I didn’t want to. Who knew, maybe they would come soon. Maybe then it wouldn’t matter.
I slowly pushed myself to standing, surprised at how quickly my body had regained strength. Granted, I wasn’t going to be running a mile or lifting weights anytime soon, but supporting my own weight was a start. At least now my body felt normal, well as normal as I could feel when eating moldy food in the dark.
I was torn between being tired and being bored. Part of me wanted to head up those stairs and take a long nap, while the other part wanted to read one of the same twenty books again for the eightieth time.
The book would have to win out, as much as my body felt like it needed to sleep, I didn’t think it was time yet. I don’t know what determined it as being time to sleep, but my body always seemed to know. As tired as I felt right now, I was pretty sure it just wasn’t time.
I had made it up about half the staircase when a small dinging hit my ears, the sound small and foreign like the bell of a small child’s bike, but growing to a high pitched shriek before it once again faded to nothing.
My shoulders relaxed at the noise, my whole body swirling with excitement. A shower. I had been waiting for so long to take a shower. At first the bell for water had rung every week, but slowly it’s been farther and farther apart, which was becoming a problem.
Not only did I stink, but water was just as vital to life as food.
I waited for the bell to stop before I continued my quest up the stairs. The loud banging and hissing echoing through the house as water began to fill the pipes.
I walked as quickly as I could into my bedroom and grabbed the two small laundry baskets I kept by the door; one full of dirty clothes, the other full of empty water bottles. I grabbed them firmly by the filthy rims and turned right around to drag them to the musty bathroom at the top of the stairs.
I left the door to the bathroom open, hoping to let some light into the already dark space, even though there wasn’t any light to filter in. It didn’t matter, I had become so used to the dark I could practically see through it now anyway. I was like those fish that lived in caves. For all I knew, my skin had turned translucent as well.
I pulled the laundry baskets into the bathroom before turning on the water all the way. The old, mildewed shower head groaned and gasped as the water made its way up the pipes. The clatter jolted through me and I jumped; it was the loudest sound I had heard in a while and it sounded like a firecracker in my ears.
My
Even though it wasn’t that much, I was already starting to hurt from overeating.
I didn’t care about saving more for later. The thought didn’t even cross my mind before I was surrounded by empty packets; each one licked clean and still no prospect of food for tomorrow.
Although, I wouldn’t think about that now. It wasn’t worth it to worry about tomorrow; today I had found food and that’s what mattered.
Right now I would focus on the uncomfortable pain from having eaten so much, the way my stomach stood out comically from my rib cage. It felt good to have food inside of me. I could already feel my body responding to it; not with energy, more just in comfort. I could sit and smile like a happy, fat man all day; except I wasn’t a happy fat man, I was an emaciated twenty-year-old. Either way, I was still comfortable and that’s really all that mattered.
I smiled and licked my lips, wishing I was tasting something besides the moldy gruel, yet savoring the last little bit that hit my stomach anyway.
I looked around me, partially wanting to search for more empty packets to lick, however I knew that, at the very least, I needed to save something for tomorrow. As much as I didn’t want to. Who knew, maybe they would come soon. Maybe then it wouldn’t matter.
I slowly pushed myself to standing, surprised at how quickly my body had regained strength. Granted, I wasn’t going to be running a mile or lifting weights anytime soon, but supporting my own weight was a start. At least now my body felt normal, well as normal as I could feel when eating moldy food in the dark.
I was torn between being tired and being bored. Part of me wanted to head up those stairs and take a long nap, while the other part wanted to read one of the same twenty books again for the eightieth time.
The book would have to win out, as much as my body felt like it needed to sleep, I didn’t think it was time yet. I don’t know what determined it as being time to sleep, but my body always seemed to know. As tired as I felt right now, I was pretty sure it just wasn’t time.
I had made it up about half the staircase when a small dinging hit my ears, the sound small and foreign like the bell of a small child’s bike, but growing to a high pitched shriek before it once again faded to nothing.
My shoulders relaxed at the noise, my whole body swirling with excitement. A shower. I had been waiting for so long to take a shower. At first the bell for water had rung every week, but slowly it’s been farther and farther apart, which was becoming a problem.
Not only did I stink, but water was just as vital to life as food.
I waited for the bell to stop before I continued my quest up the stairs. The loud banging and hissing echoing through the house as water began to fill the pipes.
I walked as quickly as I could into my bedroom and grabbed the two small laundry baskets I kept by the door; one full of dirty clothes, the other full of empty water bottles. I grabbed them firmly by the filthy rims and turned right around to drag them to the musty bathroom at the top of the stairs.
I left the door to the bathroom open, hoping to let some light into the already dark space, even though there wasn’t any light to filter in. It didn’t matter, I had become so used to the dark I could practically see through it now anyway. I was like those fish that lived in caves. For all I knew, my skin had turned translucent as well.
I pulled the laundry baskets into the bathroom before turning on the water all the way. The old, mildewed shower head groaned and gasped as the water made its way up the pipes. The clatter jolted through me and I jumped; it was the loudest sound I had heard in a while and it sounded like a firecracker in my ears.
My
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