This Side of Home by Renée Watson Page A

is lit by a lamp in the corner. Upstairs, I can hear footsteps walking in and out of rooms. I back away from Tony. “What if your mom comes down here?”
    â€œShe won’t.” Tony continues kissing me.
    â€œWhat about your dad?”
    â€œHe won’t.” Tony pulls me closer to him.
    I have lost time. Kissing Tony starts and stops and starts again until we fall asleep in each other’s arms.
    Hours have passed, and the only reason I wake up is because I hear noise upstairs. Footsteps walking again, and then a voice. “Tony? Are you down there?”Tony’s dad is standing at the doorstep. Tony jumps up. “Uh, yeah, I’m … yeah. Watching TV still.”
    My blurry eyes adjust on the digital clock. It’s midnight.
    â€œJust checking.” Tony’s dad doesn’t walk away. I can feel him standing there at the top of the stairs. Tony and I stay still. I try not to breathe too hard. A few minutes pass, and Mr. Jacobs closes the door and walks away.
    Tony gets up from the sofa. “I, uh, you should get home,” he says. He takes his arm from around me and gets up. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to keep you here so late.”
    I am already getting my story together for Mom and Dad. I’ll tell them I was with Essence, that Malachi dropped me off. I get my stuff together and follow Tony upstairs. Instead of walking up both flights of stairs, Tony stops at the back door and opens it. “I’ll walk you across the street,” he whispers.
    â€œThat’s okay. I’m fine.”
    He gives me his “are you sure?” look.
    â€œReally. I’m fine.”
    Tony kisses me once more. Soft.
    As soon as I step outside, the cold hits me and what happened tonight feels exposed. My feet crunch the snow as I walk from his backyard to the front. The streetlights create shadows on the leftover snow,and I can tell that a cat has walked this way. His paw prints create a path toward my driveway. I cross the street.
    I tiptoe in my house and make it to bed without waking anyone. Once I’m in bed, I am wide awake. All I can think about is Tony, his lips, our kiss. And I feel really silly admitting this, but as I wait to fall asleep, I whisper his name over and over.
    Tony Jacobs
.
    Tony Jacobs
.
    Tony Jacobs
.
    And I like how the
n
kisses the roof of my mouth. How my lips open wide to pronounce the
o
. His name is a sweet lullaby.
    Tony Jacobs
.
    Tony Jacobs
.
    Tony Jacobs
.

Chapter 32
    I’m supposed to see Essence today. On my way to the bus stop, I walk past Devin’s block. I stand on the corner, knowing I need to turn right, walk to his house, tell him. But before I do that, I stand a bit longer. It is raining, and the slushy snow that was piled at the curb is dissolving even more. I breathe in, out, turn right.
    Devin lives on a dead-end street. Cars accidentally turn onto this block, and the drivers soon realize they can’t get where they want to go. It is a street of mistakes, a disappointment. His house is at the end of the block, hidden behind untamed bushes. The grass is stiff. Even though there’s a gate around his house, the latch is broken, so I just walk up to the porch and knock on the door because the doorbell doesn’t work.
    I knock a few more times but no one comes to the door. And I know it’s the cowardly thing to do but I go into my purse and take out a piece of paper. Yes, I could call or wait until I see Devin face-to-face, but this is easier. I write him a letter, telling him that I can’t be in a relationship with him. I leave out the part about me thinking we don’t have much in common other than being black and growing up in the same neighborhood. I leave out the part about having so much fun with Tony, about how we laugh and how we both are motivated to make a difference at Richmond. And I definitely don’t tell him about the kiss. For all Devin knows, I’m busy with school and college