We’re trying to watch TV. I looked back at him and I knew he was going to freak out. Mack: Why don’t you shut it? You shut it. A pencil whizzed past our heads. Ryan started to laugh. Mack: Oh, you think that’s funny? He threw his math book hard at Ryan. Ryan ducked and laughed again. Mack was furious but instead of attacking Ryan like he normally would he just took off upstairs. Ryan: Wuss. Me: But I did sort of laugh. Normally, I mean, since Zyler, I wouldn’t have done anything after that. I would have just sat there. Or more likely I would have been in my room instead of up with the twins. But instead I went upstairs. And instead I got all Mack’s stuff together and went and knocked on his door. I did it even though Ryan said: Don’t do anything. He’s an idiot. I knocked and then I said: Do you want me to help you? His door: Me: His door: Me: Come on. His door: Go away. Me: Are you sure? His door: Me: Okay. I left all his stuff by his door for when he needed it.
I decided I wasn’t going to meet Laurel anymore because I didn’t want to tell her everything but then she said this: I’m not scared of you because I know it’s not true. Me: Laurel: Aren’t you going to say something? Me: Ummm. Laurel: Come on, Logan. But I didn’t know what to say. Laurel: Don’t you want to know why? Her upper lip twitched and she pulled off a scab from her elbow. Me: Okay. Why? Laurel: Bruce has been telling everyone that you and another guy assaulted this girl at your last school and that you are a sicko that will wind up a stalker or even worse. She took a breath. I didn’t. Laurel: Bruce said he knew because his mom talked to your mom and then she did some calling around to find out what really happened. Bruce’s mom thinks she knows everyone and everything. You should have been here last year when they fired the bus driver for absolutely no reason, but mainly because of stuff Bruce’s mom claimed to know. She took another breath. I still didn’t. Laurel: But see, I know what Bruce said about you isn’t true because I asked my mom if she knew anything about you or your last school because she’s on the school board. Remember? Me: Laurel: Well, she told me the whole story so you don’t have to worry. And then she was still picking at another scab but she was looking right at me. Me: Laurel: Well? Is it true? Me: What? Laurel: What my mom said. Me: How do I know what your mom said? Laurel: Oh, well, she totally knew about an incident with kids at your school and she told me the whole story about how a girl did get abused — almost raped, even — and it was at this drug house and the kid and his dad did it and she knows that both the kid and the dad are locked up. They talked about it while they were discussing the D.A.R.E. proposal. Mom said that everyone involved was on drugs. So then I asked her about why you would have anything to do with it. Breath. Me: Laurel: And my mom didn’t know about you specifically, but she said she heard that the kid’s friend may have seen the whole thing happen or something. Was that you? Me: Laurel: So? I just looked at her. Laurel: So? Me: Laurel: Is it true? Is that what happened? Me: Laurel: Come on, Logan. I know you didn’t do it. Me: Laurel: And I knew all along that you weren’t a molester or abuser or whatever. Me: Laurel: So you didn’t really have anything to do with it, did you? Right? Me: Laurel: Just say you didn’t do it and I’ll know it’s true. You didn’t do it. Screw it. Me: Actually, I kind of did do it. I don’t think Laurel knew what to do after that because she just stared at me and I stared back. We kept staring. Stare Stare Stare And then I told her. I told her about Zyler and how he wasn’t drugged up and how he tried to stop his dad. I mean, how he did stop his dad. And how he was my best friend. Ever. Even if he wasn’t what I thought sometimes and I think maybe