presence, frightened her. Yet the words of the Amazon Oath tormented her. I shall appeal to no man as of right, for protection … what, she thought distractedly, has happened to me, since I have come to live here as Piedro’s freemate?
Cholayna was still expectantly looking at her and Jaelle realized that she had not answered. She stammered, “I’d - I’d like to think about it a little, before I make up my mind.”
What I really want, she thought, is to talk mostly to the women. I feel safe and comfortable with Cholayna, even with Bethany. I feel secure relating to Darkovan men, even those who detest everything the Free Amazons stand for, because I know how to disarm their suspicions, to work among them as one of themselves. She did not think she could learn to do that with Terran men, and she didn’t really want to try.
And then she felt ashamed of herself. She was a grown woman, a Renunciate, she should not expect to hide behind Cholayna or even behind Piedro. She said almost aggressively, “I’ll talk to the Agent,” and stared at the floor, uncomfortably conscious that Cholayna was looking at her with sympathy.
I’m a big girl now, I don’t need to be protected or mothered … she told herself, wishing she could feel the truth of that.
The light on Cholayna’s desk blinked again, and she said to it, irritably stabbing with one polished nail at the button, “What now?”
“Mr. Montray to see you,” answered the voice, and Cholayna raised her eyebrow.
“The mountain cannot fly to the birds, therefore each of the birds must fly to the mountain,” she said wryly. “That is an old proverb on my planet, Jaelle. I’m afraid I’ll have to let him in. You can go, if you’d rather.”
Jaelle shook her head. “I shall have to meet him sometime,” she said, bracing herself for the graying, disapproving Montray. The man who entered, however, was a stranger, at least twenty years younger than the Legate Jaelle remembered.
“You were expecting my father?” he asked at Cholayna’s look of surprise. “I’m Wade Montray, and Father sent me up to look the girl over and see what use we could make of her - ” He broke off, looked around at Jaelle and grinned apologetically.
“I did not know you were still here; I don’t mean to be rude. I believe I saw you at the Council, but we weren’t formally introduced.”
Now she remembered; he, at least, spoke the language flawlessly and had interrupted some of his father’s more tactless and unsuitable comments. “Yes, I remember seeing you, Mr. Montray - “
“Wade,” he said, “but I know that isn’t easy to say in your language. I’m usually called Monty, miss - ” again he broke off. “I am sorry; I don’t know the polite address for a Renunciate - “
“I am Jaelle n’ha Melora. If you do not feel ready to use my name, you may say mestra . But if we are to work together and I am to call you Monty, I should be Jaelle.”
He nodded, repeating the name carefully. “May I take her down to the Old Man’s office, Cholayna? Or do you still need her up here? If you do, I’ll try and smooth it over a little.” He hesitated and said, “Look, he really doesn’t mean any harm. It’s just - well, he’s been running everything, Intelligence, and Communications, Linguistics, all that stuff out of his office, and all of a sudden he doesn’t know where his authority leaves off and yours begins, so he’s feeling a little raw around the edges.”
Cholayna nodded. She looked a little grim. “I can see that it would be hard for him. Technically of course I am not responsible to any planetary Coordinator, but only to Head Center. I’ll try not to - to step on his feet, unless he gets in the way too much - I mean, in the way of Empire Intelligence. Jaelle, please feel free to call on me for help any time. And ask Peter to come in and see me sometime tomorrow, will you?” Cholayna turned her attention back to the lights blinking on her console, and Jaelle turned
Cholayna was still expectantly looking at her and Jaelle realized that she had not answered. She stammered, “I’d - I’d like to think about it a little, before I make up my mind.”
What I really want, she thought, is to talk mostly to the women. I feel safe and comfortable with Cholayna, even with Bethany. I feel secure relating to Darkovan men, even those who detest everything the Free Amazons stand for, because I know how to disarm their suspicions, to work among them as one of themselves. She did not think she could learn to do that with Terran men, and she didn’t really want to try.
And then she felt ashamed of herself. She was a grown woman, a Renunciate, she should not expect to hide behind Cholayna or even behind Piedro. She said almost aggressively, “I’ll talk to the Agent,” and stared at the floor, uncomfortably conscious that Cholayna was looking at her with sympathy.
I’m a big girl now, I don’t need to be protected or mothered … she told herself, wishing she could feel the truth of that.
The light on Cholayna’s desk blinked again, and she said to it, irritably stabbing with one polished nail at the button, “What now?”
“Mr. Montray to see you,” answered the voice, and Cholayna raised her eyebrow.
“The mountain cannot fly to the birds, therefore each of the birds must fly to the mountain,” she said wryly. “That is an old proverb on my planet, Jaelle. I’m afraid I’ll have to let him in. You can go, if you’d rather.”
Jaelle shook her head. “I shall have to meet him sometime,” she said, bracing herself for the graying, disapproving Montray. The man who entered, however, was a stranger, at least twenty years younger than the Legate Jaelle remembered.
“You were expecting my father?” he asked at Cholayna’s look of surprise. “I’m Wade Montray, and Father sent me up to look the girl over and see what use we could make of her - ” He broke off, looked around at Jaelle and grinned apologetically.
“I did not know you were still here; I don’t mean to be rude. I believe I saw you at the Council, but we weren’t formally introduced.”
Now she remembered; he, at least, spoke the language flawlessly and had interrupted some of his father’s more tactless and unsuitable comments. “Yes, I remember seeing you, Mr. Montray - “
“Wade,” he said, “but I know that isn’t easy to say in your language. I’m usually called Monty, miss - ” again he broke off. “I am sorry; I don’t know the polite address for a Renunciate - “
“I am Jaelle n’ha Melora. If you do not feel ready to use my name, you may say mestra . But if we are to work together and I am to call you Monty, I should be Jaelle.”
He nodded, repeating the name carefully. “May I take her down to the Old Man’s office, Cholayna? Or do you still need her up here? If you do, I’ll try and smooth it over a little.” He hesitated and said, “Look, he really doesn’t mean any harm. It’s just - well, he’s been running everything, Intelligence, and Communications, Linguistics, all that stuff out of his office, and all of a sudden he doesn’t know where his authority leaves off and yours begins, so he’s feeling a little raw around the edges.”
Cholayna nodded. She looked a little grim. “I can see that it would be hard for him. Technically of course I am not responsible to any planetary Coordinator, but only to Head Center. I’ll try not to - to step on his feet, unless he gets in the way too much - I mean, in the way of Empire Intelligence. Jaelle, please feel free to call on me for help any time. And ask Peter to come in and see me sometime tomorrow, will you?” Cholayna turned her attention back to the lights blinking on her console, and Jaelle turned
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