me?”
Mirabel slams her wooden spoon on the table. “Charlie Anne.” She is about to say something else, but I am looking like an old boar pig ready to tear her apart, and she closes her mouth.
Birdie has given up trying to get me to stop. She is burying her face in Ivy’s pinned curls.
“Look what you’ve done,” I say, moving closer to Mirabel. “How could you send Peter away like that? He is OUR BROTHER. You made a terrible mistake. You should walk out the door and leave us and never come back, that would be the best thing you could do for us. We all hate you.”
Mirabel tenses her whole body and then just stands and stares at me, her frown flat. Everyone stops crying. We are all looking at Mirabel, watching to see what she will do next.
At first, she does nothing. She just stands there looking from one of us to the other. Then she gets a little teary and turns away and looks out the window over the sink and out across our hay fields. We have never seen her eyes get even a little damp, and I have plenty of time to brace myself for what’s coming next because she looks out the window for a long time. I put my hand on my chest to try and slow my speeding heart. Ivy is telling me with her eyes that I’m going toget the what-for, and I tell her with my eyes to go jump in the river.
Mirabel is good with cuts and fixing hurting fingers, and I guess she’s also good at drying up her own tears, because when she turns back around, there is no trace of them.
“Charlie Anne, I saw no other way,” she says. “We have not heard from your father in a long time. Anna May is hardly giving us any milk at all and those chickens are good for nothing. I got one egg yesterday. One. I wanted Eleanor to take Birdie, too, but she said no.”
Well. Birdie starts screaming after that and Ivy pushes her out of her lap. Birdie comes rushing over to me and I pick her up the way I always do.
“We do not need you,” I tell Mirabel. “We would be better off on our own.”
“Young lady,” says Mirabel, who has pulled herself almost completely back together again. “Need I keep reminding you that you are forgetting your place? I would be doing a great disservice to your mother if I let you continue to act this way toward your elders.”
“Oh, why don’t you just shove off?” I tell her, and then I set Birdie down on the sofa, and I don’t pay any attention to her cries because I have some things I need to say to Mama.
* * *
I rush out through our corn and up on the hill where the river is churning from all the rain we got last night. I ask Mama if she knew about how Aunt Eleanor was coming and why she didn’t warn me and why she didn’t make sure Peter didn’t go.
Did you know?
The river is roaring and I am yelling and I can’t hear if Mama is saying anything and then I decide I do not even want to hear what she says anyway so I turn and race toward the house. I think maybe she is calling after me but I do not turn around and I do not go back.
The night is awful. There is an empty spot in the bed for Peter and I won’t let Ivy lie in his space, even when she complains why can’t she have his spot, since he’s not around to roll on top of us anymore. Aunt Eleanor took him so fast he left his measuring tape behind, and I tuck it into the chest at the foot of the bed, nestling it under the someday books Mama left for me.
That night it pours harder than I’ve ever seen and the boulders in the river roll and thunder and the rain pounds against our roof and then it comes leaking through our ceiling and drips on our bed. I think even the heavens are crying out for Peter.
CHAPTER
24
Anna May and Belle are getting quite worried about me. They want to know why I am thin as a rail. Because of all these chores, I tell them, throwing another string bean in the pot.
Mirabel thinks when you lose your mama and your papa and now your two brothers, the thing is to keep busy. Snapping beans is the best cure,
Mirabel slams her wooden spoon on the table. “Charlie Anne.” She is about to say something else, but I am looking like an old boar pig ready to tear her apart, and she closes her mouth.
Birdie has given up trying to get me to stop. She is burying her face in Ivy’s pinned curls.
“Look what you’ve done,” I say, moving closer to Mirabel. “How could you send Peter away like that? He is OUR BROTHER. You made a terrible mistake. You should walk out the door and leave us and never come back, that would be the best thing you could do for us. We all hate you.”
Mirabel tenses her whole body and then just stands and stares at me, her frown flat. Everyone stops crying. We are all looking at Mirabel, watching to see what she will do next.
At first, she does nothing. She just stands there looking from one of us to the other. Then she gets a little teary and turns away and looks out the window over the sink and out across our hay fields. We have never seen her eyes get even a little damp, and I have plenty of time to brace myself for what’s coming next because she looks out the window for a long time. I put my hand on my chest to try and slow my speeding heart. Ivy is telling me with her eyes that I’m going toget the what-for, and I tell her with my eyes to go jump in the river.
Mirabel is good with cuts and fixing hurting fingers, and I guess she’s also good at drying up her own tears, because when she turns back around, there is no trace of them.
“Charlie Anne, I saw no other way,” she says. “We have not heard from your father in a long time. Anna May is hardly giving us any milk at all and those chickens are good for nothing. I got one egg yesterday. One. I wanted Eleanor to take Birdie, too, but she said no.”
Well. Birdie starts screaming after that and Ivy pushes her out of her lap. Birdie comes rushing over to me and I pick her up the way I always do.
“We do not need you,” I tell Mirabel. “We would be better off on our own.”
“Young lady,” says Mirabel, who has pulled herself almost completely back together again. “Need I keep reminding you that you are forgetting your place? I would be doing a great disservice to your mother if I let you continue to act this way toward your elders.”
“Oh, why don’t you just shove off?” I tell her, and then I set Birdie down on the sofa, and I don’t pay any attention to her cries because I have some things I need to say to Mama.
* * *
I rush out through our corn and up on the hill where the river is churning from all the rain we got last night. I ask Mama if she knew about how Aunt Eleanor was coming and why she didn’t warn me and why she didn’t make sure Peter didn’t go.
Did you know?
The river is roaring and I am yelling and I can’t hear if Mama is saying anything and then I decide I do not even want to hear what she says anyway so I turn and race toward the house. I think maybe she is calling after me but I do not turn around and I do not go back.
The night is awful. There is an empty spot in the bed for Peter and I won’t let Ivy lie in his space, even when she complains why can’t she have his spot, since he’s not around to roll on top of us anymore. Aunt Eleanor took him so fast he left his measuring tape behind, and I tuck it into the chest at the foot of the bed, nestling it under the someday books Mama left for me.
That night it pours harder than I’ve ever seen and the boulders in the river roll and thunder and the rain pounds against our roof and then it comes leaking through our ceiling and drips on our bed. I think even the heavens are crying out for Peter.
CHAPTER
24
Anna May and Belle are getting quite worried about me. They want to know why I am thin as a rail. Because of all these chores, I tell them, throwing another string bean in the pot.
Mirabel thinks when you lose your mama and your papa and now your two brothers, the thing is to keep busy. Snapping beans is the best cure,
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