The Wife of a Lesser Man (LA Cops Series Book 1) by Sandy Appleyard Page A

Sarah remarked as the waitress brought the drinks and placed them beside the other glasses.
    Shelley downed the last of her first glass and placed the empty glass on the waitress’s platter.  When she swallowed she crossed her eyes for a second and Sarah laughed.
    “Good, well, it can’t be all that bad if you’re already laughing,” Sarah said, taking another sip.
    Shelley sighed and nodded, “It’s Mark and me.” 
    Sarah looked incredulously at Shelley, lifting herself up for emphasis.  “You mean there is trouble in paradise?  Finally?   After all these years?? ” 
    Shelley gently smacked Sarah on the cheek.  “Smartass.  Now I am pissed at you.”  She laughed.
    “Come on.  You guys have been married how many years?  Not to mention you’ve both just been through a major traumatic event.  It was bound to happen.” 
    “No, no.  You’re not allowed to minimize this.  We do have a major problem.”  Shelley’s hand was outstretched and she pumped it as if she was trying to push an imaginary glass away.
    “Okay, what is it?”
    Shelley hesitated and closed her eyes with her head cocked, as if she had something stuck in her ear.  “Mark and I haven’t had sex since his heart attack.” 
    Sarah frowned and nodded. “Well that would be kind of expected.  Isn’t the medication causing that?  I thought he wouldn’t even be allowed to have sex after that.” 
    Shelley laughed maniacally.  “So you think freaking out is irrational?  Or unreasonable?” 
    “I didn’t say that .  I just meant that you shouldn’t worry.”  Sarah looked at Shelley, wondering where she was going with this.
    “And why not?  I mean, it‘s easy for you to say.  You’re still single.  You can have sex whenever you want.  Don’t get me wrong, I love Mark with all my heart and I would die for him, but I’m so scared.”  Her hand went to her mouth and she grasped Sarah’s hand with the other.
    “I’m so sorry.  I don’t mean to take this out on you.”  Shelley squeezed Sarah’s hand.
    Sarah half laughed.  “That’s okay.  Why are you being so apologetic?  I’m your best friend and if I can’t be your punching bag once in a while then what am I good for?” 
    “What exactly are you scared of?”  Sarah asked, letting go of Shelley’s hand.
    “I know it sounds terrible because I should be so thankful that Mark is still with me.  But…I miss him.  I miss his touch and the way he used to look at me.  We used to make love at least a couple times a week, more when we were younger.  Before his heart attack we used to have quickies even at lunch time or whenever we felt the need.  He was so passionate and very ready and able to go. I never needed to ask.”  She took a sip of wine.
    “Well give it some time.  I’m sure he’ll come around soon.”
    “You’re right.  I know.  But I don’t know why I’m worrying so much.  I mean, it’s not like we’re twenty anymore,” Shelley said, half laughing and waving her head from side to side.
    Sarah looked directly at her,  “Shelley.  You’re allowed to feel .  Being afraid and worrying is perfectly natural.  Freaking out under the circumstances is okay.  You held it together miraculously when Mark had his heart attack.  You were bound to lose it some time.”  She paused.  “I’m just curious.  What exactly made you freak out during yoga?  Was it really because I was talking to Michael?”  She took another sip.
    “I don’t know.  Maybe you were right about me being jealous.  It is true that you can have sex whenever you want.  I guess it made me realize that with Mark I can’t feel that way anymore.”
    Sarah smiled and patted Shelley on the hand.  “Don’t kid yourself honey.  Remember: I’m not twenty any more either.”
    Shelley guffawed.  “Yeah, but you can still get hotties like Michael whenever you want.” 
    Sarah waved off her comment.  “Yeah, but look at that hottie that was checking