she didn’t need rescuing, he bared his own soul. “And an old brown stick should have color in its life, or it’s just dying wood.”
Moisture shimmered in her gaze. “Oh, James…”
Despite his resolve, he wasn’t confident enough to rest his case yet. “I’ll go wherever you wish. However far away. You’ll wither here, I understand that. I have no desire to change you, not ever. I love exactly who you are.”
She was weeping silently now, helplessly, his proud, defiant Bella. “I can’t let you give all this up. They adore you, James. That’s too big a sacrifice. And I don’t want to hurt them.”
“We’ll work it out, love. All of it. Say yes.” He’d abandoned all pride then. “Please. All I need in the world is you.”
H E’D BEEN SO CERTAIN of himself, the invincibility of their love, James pondered now. His parents, stunned and grieving, had nonetheless cared for him enough to offer them their blessing. To give Bella a fairy-tale wedding, standing in for the family she’d never had.
They’d ridden off into the sunset, like a couple of celluloid lovers, with about that much depth of understanding of what they faced. There is no certainty like that of young lovers, mesmerized by bountiful sex and full to the brim of all they’ll accomplish due to their superior understanding of the world their forebears bobbled.
I don’t think I can live this way anymore. Something inside me is dying.
He’d gone back on every last word of it, he realized now. Caged the butterfly who’d had the poor judgment to land on him. He wondered if she’d been so knee-deep in their children and their busy lives that she’d lost sight, too, of how far they’d strayed.
Not that she hadn’t agreed with the decisions they’d made. But looking back through the prism of who they’d become and what they’d lost, he began to see how much of their direction she must have concurred with simply because family was everything to her.
He’d betrayed who she was long before he’d broken the vow of fidelity with one moment of carelessness, one terrible, foolish step down the wrong road.
But how did you apologize to a woman who remembered none of it—who she’d been, who he’d been, what he’d encouraged her to become?
He clicked off the television and threw his legs over the side of the mattress, burying his face in his hands. Where did he start, making this up to her, all of it? Did any of that butterfly remain?
He remembered her dirt-stained jeans, the bloom on her face in those initial, carefree minutes before she’d entered the café. The fingers that had once touched him with so much love, shorn of ornamentation now, even the ring he longed to put on her again.
He felt in his pocket for it. He’d discovered it after she’d left and been scared to death by its presence, as though she’d already bid him adieu.
He’d have to earn that right, and the place to begin was by finding out who Bella was now, who she wanted to be. Listening hard and paying attention without the veil of his own desires and needs.
He picked up the phone and ordered a second rental car, paying a premium for the SUV to be delivered first thing in the morning, so Cele and Cam would also have transportation.
Because he couldn’t sleep this far away from her, he would drive back to Lucky Draw, and he would park as close as possible to where she lay.
And he would keep watch. For his Sleeping Beauty, whom every cell in him craved to awaken with a kiss.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
J AMES WOKE UP shivering and cursed himself for not thinking to bring a blanket. He sat up in the backseat of the rental car, where he’d retreated when he couldn’t keep his eyes open another second.
The backseat was no more comfortable than the front. He rolled his neck to work out the kinks and turned to the right—
And nearly jolted out of his skin.
An old woman stood there, glaring at him. She was barely taller than Cele, bundled into a coat he couldn’t
Moisture shimmered in her gaze. “Oh, James…”
Despite his resolve, he wasn’t confident enough to rest his case yet. “I’ll go wherever you wish. However far away. You’ll wither here, I understand that. I have no desire to change you, not ever. I love exactly who you are.”
She was weeping silently now, helplessly, his proud, defiant Bella. “I can’t let you give all this up. They adore you, James. That’s too big a sacrifice. And I don’t want to hurt them.”
“We’ll work it out, love. All of it. Say yes.” He’d abandoned all pride then. “Please. All I need in the world is you.”
H E’D BEEN SO CERTAIN of himself, the invincibility of their love, James pondered now. His parents, stunned and grieving, had nonetheless cared for him enough to offer them their blessing. To give Bella a fairy-tale wedding, standing in for the family she’d never had.
They’d ridden off into the sunset, like a couple of celluloid lovers, with about that much depth of understanding of what they faced. There is no certainty like that of young lovers, mesmerized by bountiful sex and full to the brim of all they’ll accomplish due to their superior understanding of the world their forebears bobbled.
I don’t think I can live this way anymore. Something inside me is dying.
He’d gone back on every last word of it, he realized now. Caged the butterfly who’d had the poor judgment to land on him. He wondered if she’d been so knee-deep in their children and their busy lives that she’d lost sight, too, of how far they’d strayed.
Not that she hadn’t agreed with the decisions they’d made. But looking back through the prism of who they’d become and what they’d lost, he began to see how much of their direction she must have concurred with simply because family was everything to her.
He’d betrayed who she was long before he’d broken the vow of fidelity with one moment of carelessness, one terrible, foolish step down the wrong road.
But how did you apologize to a woman who remembered none of it—who she’d been, who he’d been, what he’d encouraged her to become?
He clicked off the television and threw his legs over the side of the mattress, burying his face in his hands. Where did he start, making this up to her, all of it? Did any of that butterfly remain?
He remembered her dirt-stained jeans, the bloom on her face in those initial, carefree minutes before she’d entered the café. The fingers that had once touched him with so much love, shorn of ornamentation now, even the ring he longed to put on her again.
He felt in his pocket for it. He’d discovered it after she’d left and been scared to death by its presence, as though she’d already bid him adieu.
He’d have to earn that right, and the place to begin was by finding out who Bella was now, who she wanted to be. Listening hard and paying attention without the veil of his own desires and needs.
He picked up the phone and ordered a second rental car, paying a premium for the SUV to be delivered first thing in the morning, so Cele and Cam would also have transportation.
Because he couldn’t sleep this far away from her, he would drive back to Lucky Draw, and he would park as close as possible to where she lay.
And he would keep watch. For his Sleeping Beauty, whom every cell in him craved to awaken with a kiss.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
J AMES WOKE UP shivering and cursed himself for not thinking to bring a blanket. He sat up in the backseat of the rental car, where he’d retreated when he couldn’t keep his eyes open another second.
The backseat was no more comfortable than the front. He rolled his neck to work out the kinks and turned to the right—
And nearly jolted out of his skin.
An old woman stood there, glaring at him. She was barely taller than Cele, bundled into a coat he couldn’t
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