The Watercress File: Being the Further Adventures of That Man from C. A. M. P.

The Watercress File: Being the Further Adventures of That Man from C. A. M. P. by V. J. Banis Page B

Book: The Watercress File: Being the Further Adventures of That Man from C. A. M. P. by V. J. Banis Read Free Book Online
Authors: V. J. Banis
Tags: Humor, Gay, camp, parody, man from U.N.C.L.E.
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street.
    â€œBut why?” This was a feminine voice, belonging to one of the singing group.
    â€œIt’s a little hard to explain,” Jackie answered. He was thinking frantically. It had been his assumption that they would only be held, or even driven around, until the assassination had been completed at the theater. The fact that more elaborate plans had been made must mean that they weren’t any of them intended to live to tell what had happened. Some accident would happen, something that would effectively destroy this truck, and them with it. And for the moment, he was at a loss how he could prevent it.
    He thought of Aunt Nasturtia, who even now would be driving off with her carful of bogus entertainers. She was only expecting to delay them briefly—but unless he could escape from the interior of this fast moving truck, there would be no performers to start the show.
    Moving carefully in the dark, he reached inside his mouth with one hand. At the back of his mouth, one wisdom tooth came loose in answer to his tugging. It was a fake, a clever counterfeit of a tooth that was in actuality a miniature bomb, a capsule of high-powered explosives that escaped detection in the event of a search, and gave him an ace in the hole.
    The explosive would be sufficient to blow open the door of the van, of that he was certain. But the fallacy in that plan was apparent. The explosion would be certain to harm the people inside the van as well.
    â€œWhat’s going to happen to us?” Someone asked in the darkness.
    â€œNothing, if I can help it,” Jackie assured him. “But to do that, I’ve got to get out of here somehow. Does anyone have a match?”
    â€œI’ve got a lighter,” the pianist suggested. “But where in blazes are you?”
    â€œFollow my voice,” Jackie instructed, “and keep talking. I’ll try to find you too.”
    He moved slowly, balancing himself to the sway of the truck, following the sound of the pianist’s voice. He reached out, and found himself with a handful of something that, despite the fabric covering it, was obviously masculine.
    â€œI think you found me,” the pianist said with a chuckle. He did not, Jackie noticed, move away from the hand that was still holding him gently.
    â€œNice to meet you,” Jackie said into the darkness. He gave the tensing flesh a gentle squeeze. It would be pleasant...but there was work to be done, he reminded himself with a sigh, and took his hand away, feeling for the lighter instead.
    He answered the pianist’s smile in the flickering light from the lighter before he devoted his attention to the interior of the van.
    â€œJust as I thought,” he said aloud. “A hatch in the top.”
    The others looked up too, and saw the square opening in the roof of the van, covered with a trapdoor type covering.
    â€œSomeone will have to boost me up there,” Jackie said, flicking out the lighter as it began to grow too warm to hold.
    â€œThat’s right down our alley,” one of the acrobats said. He moved toward where Jackie was standing. “Give me your hand.”
    Jackie reached for and found the hand of the acrobat. The other tumbler joined them, and the two of them managed easily to lift the agent upward.
    It was no easy task. The truck was moving rapidly now, and turning frequently, following some rambling route. It took precision balance on the part of the two men to hold him up. Jackie reached the door above and pushed. It refused to budge.
    â€œMaybe if one of us tried,” the one fellow below suggested.
    â€œNo, help me get my shoe off,” Jackie said instead. They managed to remove his shoe and hand it up to him. Jackie twisted the heel and it gave to reveal a concealed compartment. Inside was a small metal bar, designed to be used as a lever. Handing his shoe back down, he fitted the bar into the hatch and pried. It yielded, very slowly at first and then,

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