The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant by Drew Hayes Page B

for a long time. You’re the only person left in this world to miss me, and I just wanted to thank you for what you did. You’re one of the few that cares, and I didn’t want you to think you had failed me somehow when you heard about this. I wanted you to know that if you hadn’t been there, I would have wound up in a much worse place much sooner. So, Krystal, for everything you did and for all the people I know you’re going to go on to help, thank you from the bottom of my heart.”
    Bubba stood from his chair and looked back at the dracolings. “Okay, shitheads, we can go now.”
    “That concludes our meeting,” Morgan said to Krystal as he rose. “I hope you enjoy your stay at the hotel, and please feel free to call on me if you have any other issues that need discussion.” The other dracolings echoed his movements, and all four men began heading for the door.
    “Wait!” Krystal yelped. She stood up from her chair and knocked it back. Her eyes were sparking and her jaw was set. This was a Krystal I was more familiar with. This was the Krystal who was about to whip some ass.
    “I invoke the right to challenge for the debt of Bubba Emerson,” she declared.
    That’s pretty much when all hell broke loose.

3.
    Bubba bellowed out a powerful “NO!” and leapt forward. Before he had taken two steps, one of the dracolings touched his shoulder and Bubba dropped to the ground in wild spasms. Krystal . . . well, there’s no other way to say it . . . . Krystal growled gutturally and leapt to Bubba’s shaking side. The other dracoling pulled Morgan away and stood between him and a now clearly pissed-off Krystal. Albert, meanwhile, let out a squeak and dropped from his chair to hide under the table. I desperately wanted to follow suit, but a part of me was screaming that if I dropped down and didn’t keep my eyes trained on the altercation, there was a very good chance I would soon be single again. I knew I was physically stronger than everyone else in the room, but that didn’t mean much when just the yelling was making me feel skittish.
    It was Morgan who broke the silence: “Enforcer Jenkins, given Mr. Emerson’s outburst and the sudden commotion, I am willing to acquiesce that I may not have heard you correctly. Would you be so kind as to repeat yourself?”
    “I demand the right to challenge for the debt of Bubba Emerson,” Krystal said softly as she held Bubba’s shoulder while his twitching subsided.
    “Acknowledged,” Morgan said. “You are aware that, as a woman, you are ineligible to challenge in our traditional manner?”
    “I am,” Krystal agreed.
    “Then we shall conduct the match using our secondary method. You may follow me,” Morgan said, straightening his suit and not quite hiding the greedy glint in his eye.
    “I request our stakes be held in escrow,” Krystal said, rising slowly from Bubba’s side.
    Morgan nodded. “That is your right as well. Bubba Emerson shall stay with your attendants, but they shall remain within this casino. Are those conditions acceptable?”
    “They are,” Krystal said. “I will instruct my attendants on the handling of our stakes, and then we may begin the match.”
    “Acceptable.” Morgan took a step back and waited against the wall. His attendants followed his cue, leaving the massive, dropped body of Bubba alone in the center of the floor.
    Krystal hurried over to me. “This shouldn’t take long, so as soon as Bubba wakes up, get him down to the restaurant. That shock will have taken a lot out of him, so get some food in him fast. I should be able to join you guys within the hour.”
    “I would very much like to be told what is going on,” I said in a hushed whisper.
    “I know, sweetie,” Krystal said kindly. “And Bubba will fill in the gaps when he comes around. Just have some faith that I know what I’m doing till then, okay?”
    “Of course. We’ll take care of him, but please join us soon.”
    “No problem,” she said with her