shower.
CHAPTER 16
A Special Hunger
It was now, after this second vision, that I and Miriam St Cloud first began to understand what was taking place in Shepperton. When I left the park and approached the Tudor mansion Miriam was waiting for me on the lawn. She watched me walk towards her across the spray-soaked grass, shaking her head at this irresponsible patient wilfully putting his health at risk. I knew that she was no longer frightened of me, but still half-hoped that I would leave her once-placid town for ever.
‘Blake, can’t you get rid of these birds?’ She pointed to the screeching sea-birds which circled the foam-flecked water, as if they were players in a discarded fantasy I had left lying around untidily. A flock of petrels and cormorants had joined the fulmars, and a dozen of the heavy-winged predators hungrily raked the river with their beaks, hunting with a kind of plaintive and distracted hysteria for the fish I had conjured from my vision. But those fish now swam in the sun-filled lagoons of my head.
‘Blake, do you want me to drive you to the station?’ Shielding her eyes from the birds, Miriam blocked my way with her strong body. ‘Is there any point in your staying here?’
For all her aggressive stance, she was as angry and concerned for me as a young wife would be. I was sure that in some way she had witnessed my vision, perhaps as no more than a sudden glimpse into that real world which I was slowly unfolding as I drew back the curtains that muffled Shepperton and the rest of this substitute realm. When I took off my drenched jacket her hands ran across my chest and back, searching for any fresh injuries.
‘I’ve been swimming in the river,’ I told her. ‘You should have come in.’
‘The water was lovely, I suppose. You’re lucky to be alive – there was a swordfish there.’
‘Did you see the whale?’
She shook her head, staring in an almost desperate way at the screaming fulmars. ‘Frightening creatures-
you
brought them here, you know. I’ve had to give Mother a sleeping draught.’
Steering me towards the house, she said calmly: ‘Blake, I did see something. Perhaps there was a whale … there was some magnificent creature swimming up and down, as if he was trying to come ashore. Lost whales often swim up the Thames.’
She took my arm and helped me across the hall to the staircase, her arms closely around me. As I stripped in the bedroom she folded my clothes with quick hands, like a wife eager to get her husband into bed. Was she already aware of my determination to mate with everyone in Shepperton? I stood naked in front of her, the bruises on my chest and mouth more prominent than ever in the electric light. Smiling in a reassuring way at her unembarrassed stare, I gazed frankly at her body, with its dizzying scents. In my mind I dedicated each of our sexual acts to the crippled children, to the young women and the old, to the trees and birds and fish, to my transformation of this riverside town.
‘Miriam, was anyone else in the water with me?’
‘A few people-five or six-some of the tennis players. And one of the local butchers, amazingly.’
‘No more than that?’
‘Blake …’ Although I was naked she let me embrace her, pressing her hands against my shoulders. ‘We’ve all been so exhausted – first your crash, and the whole nightmare of your escape. Then the storm last night, the strange birds and all these fish … portents of God only knows what. Half the time I don’t know whether I’m seeing or dreaming.’
‘Miriam – am I dead?’
‘No!’ She slapped my right cheek, then held my face tightly in her hands. ‘Blake, you’re not dead. I
know
you’re not. Poor man, that crash. There are things coming out of your head that frighten me, you’re crossing space and time at some kind of angle to the rest of us. Something’s happened here, you ought to get away from Shepperton altogether …’
My arms steadied her. ‘No, I have to
CHAPTER 16
A Special Hunger
It was now, after this second vision, that I and Miriam St Cloud first began to understand what was taking place in Shepperton. When I left the park and approached the Tudor mansion Miriam was waiting for me on the lawn. She watched me walk towards her across the spray-soaked grass, shaking her head at this irresponsible patient wilfully putting his health at risk. I knew that she was no longer frightened of me, but still half-hoped that I would leave her once-placid town for ever.
‘Blake, can’t you get rid of these birds?’ She pointed to the screeching sea-birds which circled the foam-flecked water, as if they were players in a discarded fantasy I had left lying around untidily. A flock of petrels and cormorants had joined the fulmars, and a dozen of the heavy-winged predators hungrily raked the river with their beaks, hunting with a kind of plaintive and distracted hysteria for the fish I had conjured from my vision. But those fish now swam in the sun-filled lagoons of my head.
‘Blake, do you want me to drive you to the station?’ Shielding her eyes from the birds, Miriam blocked my way with her strong body. ‘Is there any point in your staying here?’
For all her aggressive stance, she was as angry and concerned for me as a young wife would be. I was sure that in some way she had witnessed my vision, perhaps as no more than a sudden glimpse into that real world which I was slowly unfolding as I drew back the curtains that muffled Shepperton and the rest of this substitute realm. When I took off my drenched jacket her hands ran across my chest and back, searching for any fresh injuries.
‘I’ve been swimming in the river,’ I told her. ‘You should have come in.’
‘The water was lovely, I suppose. You’re lucky to be alive – there was a swordfish there.’
‘Did you see the whale?’
She shook her head, staring in an almost desperate way at the screaming fulmars. ‘Frightening creatures-
you
brought them here, you know. I’ve had to give Mother a sleeping draught.’
Steering me towards the house, she said calmly: ‘Blake, I did see something. Perhaps there was a whale … there was some magnificent creature swimming up and down, as if he was trying to come ashore. Lost whales often swim up the Thames.’
She took my arm and helped me across the hall to the staircase, her arms closely around me. As I stripped in the bedroom she folded my clothes with quick hands, like a wife eager to get her husband into bed. Was she already aware of my determination to mate with everyone in Shepperton? I stood naked in front of her, the bruises on my chest and mouth more prominent than ever in the electric light. Smiling in a reassuring way at her unembarrassed stare, I gazed frankly at her body, with its dizzying scents. In my mind I dedicated each of our sexual acts to the crippled children, to the young women and the old, to the trees and birds and fish, to my transformation of this riverside town.
‘Miriam, was anyone else in the water with me?’
‘A few people-five or six-some of the tennis players. And one of the local butchers, amazingly.’
‘No more than that?’
‘Blake …’ Although I was naked she let me embrace her, pressing her hands against my shoulders. ‘We’ve all been so exhausted – first your crash, and the whole nightmare of your escape. Then the storm last night, the strange birds and all these fish … portents of God only knows what. Half the time I don’t know whether I’m seeing or dreaming.’
‘Miriam – am I dead?’
‘No!’ She slapped my right cheek, then held my face tightly in her hands. ‘Blake, you’re not dead. I
know
you’re not. Poor man, that crash. There are things coming out of your head that frighten me, you’re crossing space and time at some kind of angle to the rest of us. Something’s happened here, you ought to get away from Shepperton altogether …’
My arms steadied her. ‘No, I have to
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