understatement. The dream had been torturously long and erotic. By the time Jack had forced himself awake, a quick twist of his hand had been all it took to finish the job.
“Well, that has to beat dreaming about the war,” Trudy said philosophically.
Jack felt relieved that she could have a sense of humor about it. “Well, there is that.”
They ate in silence for a few moments. Trudy looked thoughtful and serious. Jack started to regret having talked to her about it, but he knew he needed to hear what she had to say. Finally, she spoke.
“Jack… as much as I would love for you to meet a man and start dating, I can’t encourage this. You know it’s never a good idea for a doctor to have an affair with a patient, and for a sex therapist, the danger is tenfold.”
“I know.”
“We provide care for a patient’s most intimate problems, a sympathetic ear. We talk about sex. That makes the patient vulnerable. To take advantage of that would be unfair and ultimately a very bad idea for everyone involved.”
Jack gritted his jaw. “I know that, I do. But… if two people who are right for each other can meet in a bar, why can’t they meet in a doctor’s office?”
Trudy studied his face worriedly. “You do realize how frightening that is, what you just said?”
Jack felt a flush of guilt and embarrassment. Way to go, Jack. The one woman in Seattle who’s willing to employ you, and you just told her you couldn’t be trusted not to bone your patients.
“I’m sorry. You’re right. I’ve never had this problem with any other patient, I swear.”
“I believe you.” Trudy seemed to be trying to figure out what to say.
“But….” Jack sighed. “It’s so difficult for me to relate to people after the things I’ve seen. People exist here in this orderly little world where the worst that can happen is that your Starbucks gets cold before you finish it. But the reality I was in for eight years… it had a deeper level of meaning. Half the time when I meet people now, I feel like I’m trying to relate to a spoiled child.”
“And you think Mr. DeMarco is different?”
“He was a police officer, shot in the line of duty. It’s not the same, but….”
Jack had given up on his soup and his right hand was on the table. It was shaking. Trudy covered it with her own. “Look. If you really think you two have something, my advice is this—finish his treatment. Let him do what he needs to do with whomever he needs to do it with to get healthy. If surrogacy is indicated, assign him to Michael. Down the road— way down the road, after he’s no longer your patient—you can see if there’s really something there.”
“Right,” Jack said with a nod of his head. “No, that’s… that’s exactly right. Thanks.”
It was good advice. It was the right advice. And it made Jack feel like shit. Jack wasn’t sure he could bear passing Tony off to Michael. And if Tony DeMarco moved on and got healthy, what would he want with broken Jack Halloran?
No. There was nothing for it. He had to kill his attraction to Tony as brutally as possible. It just wasn’t going to happen. Jack felt his chest constrict with disappointment. But if there was one thing life had taught Jack, it was how to live with disappointment.
“Let’s discuss his case,” Trudy said, firmly changing the subject. “Have you narrowed down on a diagnosis?”
~16~
T ONY watched Brent pull out of the driveway and go off to work. Tony gave him ten minutes, just in case he’d forgotten something, and then he got out of the car.
The neighborhood consisted mostly of professionals who’d be at work by now. Still, there was a chance a neighbor would see him poking around. He gave himself twenty minutes. It would take that long for Brent to get back to the house from his office if a nosey neighbor happened to call him. Unlikely, but possible. Tony had to stick to his plan.
The White’s house was in a new subdivision in Bellevue. It was a
“Well, that has to beat dreaming about the war,” Trudy said philosophically.
Jack felt relieved that she could have a sense of humor about it. “Well, there is that.”
They ate in silence for a few moments. Trudy looked thoughtful and serious. Jack started to regret having talked to her about it, but he knew he needed to hear what she had to say. Finally, she spoke.
“Jack… as much as I would love for you to meet a man and start dating, I can’t encourage this. You know it’s never a good idea for a doctor to have an affair with a patient, and for a sex therapist, the danger is tenfold.”
“I know.”
“We provide care for a patient’s most intimate problems, a sympathetic ear. We talk about sex. That makes the patient vulnerable. To take advantage of that would be unfair and ultimately a very bad idea for everyone involved.”
Jack gritted his jaw. “I know that, I do. But… if two people who are right for each other can meet in a bar, why can’t they meet in a doctor’s office?”
Trudy studied his face worriedly. “You do realize how frightening that is, what you just said?”
Jack felt a flush of guilt and embarrassment. Way to go, Jack. The one woman in Seattle who’s willing to employ you, and you just told her you couldn’t be trusted not to bone your patients.
“I’m sorry. You’re right. I’ve never had this problem with any other patient, I swear.”
“I believe you.” Trudy seemed to be trying to figure out what to say.
“But….” Jack sighed. “It’s so difficult for me to relate to people after the things I’ve seen. People exist here in this orderly little world where the worst that can happen is that your Starbucks gets cold before you finish it. But the reality I was in for eight years… it had a deeper level of meaning. Half the time when I meet people now, I feel like I’m trying to relate to a spoiled child.”
“And you think Mr. DeMarco is different?”
“He was a police officer, shot in the line of duty. It’s not the same, but….”
Jack had given up on his soup and his right hand was on the table. It was shaking. Trudy covered it with her own. “Look. If you really think you two have something, my advice is this—finish his treatment. Let him do what he needs to do with whomever he needs to do it with to get healthy. If surrogacy is indicated, assign him to Michael. Down the road— way down the road, after he’s no longer your patient—you can see if there’s really something there.”
“Right,” Jack said with a nod of his head. “No, that’s… that’s exactly right. Thanks.”
It was good advice. It was the right advice. And it made Jack feel like shit. Jack wasn’t sure he could bear passing Tony off to Michael. And if Tony DeMarco moved on and got healthy, what would he want with broken Jack Halloran?
No. There was nothing for it. He had to kill his attraction to Tony as brutally as possible. It just wasn’t going to happen. Jack felt his chest constrict with disappointment. But if there was one thing life had taught Jack, it was how to live with disappointment.
“Let’s discuss his case,” Trudy said, firmly changing the subject. “Have you narrowed down on a diagnosis?”
~16~
T ONY watched Brent pull out of the driveway and go off to work. Tony gave him ten minutes, just in case he’d forgotten something, and then he got out of the car.
The neighborhood consisted mostly of professionals who’d be at work by now. Still, there was a chance a neighbor would see him poking around. He gave himself twenty minutes. It would take that long for Brent to get back to the house from his office if a nosey neighbor happened to call him. Unlikely, but possible. Tony had to stick to his plan.
The White’s house was in a new subdivision in Bellevue. It was a
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