walk away, disgusted, but she caught up again, grinning at the side of his face, skipping along.
“You just can't stand the fact that I'm not traumatized and you are,” she said. “I mean, what am I supposed to be grieving about? I lived, didn't I? I'm dealing with it.”
“You call what you're doing with your work
dealing
with it? You call telling some jerk-off from the
Guardian
how it's ‘informed’ your art
dealing
with it? You've got a perverted sense, Rebecca, of what ‘
dealing
with it’ is.”
“Oooh—perverted!” She scooted up ahead of him and turned, walking backward up the aisle. “
Perr
-verted,” she sang, whirling the bottle in the air again, almost missing it on its way down. A couple passed her warily, shrinking back a little against the shelves. “This guy, right.” Rebecca stopped in Caffery's path, her face bright. Now he could read the print on her leather jerkin. Article 5 of the Alcatraz inmate regulations, stenciled in white:
You are entitled to food, clothing, shelter and medical attention. Anything else you get is a privilege
. “This guy says to his girlfriend, ‘Let's have anal sex— ’ ”
“Rebecca—”
“He says, ‘Let's have anal sex. ’ And she says, ‘Anal sex? Isn't that a bit perverted? ’ And he says—”
“Please—just stop it—”
“And he says, ‘Perverted?
Perverted?
My, but that's a big word. Especially for a twelve-year-old. ’” She bent over, bottle clasped against her knee, and shook with laughter. “
A twelve-year-old
!”
“Yes, very good.” He tried to get past her but she jumped from side to side, blocking his path.
“Oh, come on, Jack, read the dating manual. You're supposed to find my jokes funny. You're supposed to—”
“Will you just
think
!” He pushed a finger in her face and she shrank back a little, taken off guard. “
Will you just fucking think, for once
.” He put his face near hers, his voice low, stooping slightly so that no one else could hear. “Think about what it was like for
me
to find
you
, Rebecca, hanging,
hanging from a hook in the fucking ceiling
. I thought you were dead—he told me he'd fucked you and then killed you. How do you think that felt, eh?”
She blinked at him and with that small reaction something hardened in his chest. He slammed down the basket, bottles clinking, and walked away, feeling in his pocket for his keys.
She asked for it, she pushed me she pushed me
. He took deep breaths, half expecting her to be bouncing along at his side, poking him, telling him to take a chill pill or something. He had wanted to push her, wanted more than anything to see her rattled, and when he paused at the exit and turned round he knew he'd succeeded.
She was standing motionless in the center of the aisle under the vast fluorescent lights, a single, small figure, quite alone in the huge supermarket, her face blank. He took a few steps back down the aisle. “Becky?”
Her head jerked a fraction and her chin dropped but she didn't answer. When he took her hand it was cold.
So you've done it. Congratulations.
Hating himself and hating her, he led her out of the store and across Brixton to the car. They drove in silence and at home she took a bottle of Blavod and a packet of cigarillos upstairs and went to bed without eating. They didn't speak another word to each other that night.
8
July 20
R ELUCTANTLY AMIT MOVED the search from the area of the park and extended their house-to-house parameters and witness-appeal campaign. DS Fiona Quinn went to Donegal Crescent—it was still sealed to allow the Specialist Crime Unit's chemicals to cook, but she went in and swept the corner of the room where Alek Peach's statement placed the intruder. Meanwhile Alek Peach discharged himself from hospital.
“
What
?”
First thing in the morning, his jacket still on, his hair wet, a cup of Kryotos's good coffee in his hand, Caffery stood in the SIOs' doorway, disbelief on his face.
“Aye, this morning.”
“You just can't stand the fact that I'm not traumatized and you are,” she said. “I mean, what am I supposed to be grieving about? I lived, didn't I? I'm dealing with it.”
“You call what you're doing with your work
dealing
with it? You call telling some jerk-off from the
Guardian
how it's ‘informed’ your art
dealing
with it? You've got a perverted sense, Rebecca, of what ‘
dealing
with it’ is.”
“Oooh—perverted!” She scooted up ahead of him and turned, walking backward up the aisle. “
Perr
-verted,” she sang, whirling the bottle in the air again, almost missing it on its way down. A couple passed her warily, shrinking back a little against the shelves. “This guy, right.” Rebecca stopped in Caffery's path, her face bright. Now he could read the print on her leather jerkin. Article 5 of the Alcatraz inmate regulations, stenciled in white:
You are entitled to food, clothing, shelter and medical attention. Anything else you get is a privilege
. “This guy says to his girlfriend, ‘Let's have anal sex— ’ ”
“Rebecca—”
“He says, ‘Let's have anal sex. ’ And she says, ‘Anal sex? Isn't that a bit perverted? ’ And he says—”
“Please—just stop it—”
“And he says, ‘Perverted?
Perverted?
My, but that's a big word. Especially for a twelve-year-old. ’” She bent over, bottle clasped against her knee, and shook with laughter. “
A twelve-year-old
!”
“Yes, very good.” He tried to get past her but she jumped from side to side, blocking his path.
“Oh, come on, Jack, read the dating manual. You're supposed to find my jokes funny. You're supposed to—”
“Will you just
think
!” He pushed a finger in her face and she shrank back a little, taken off guard. “
Will you just fucking think, for once
.” He put his face near hers, his voice low, stooping slightly so that no one else could hear. “Think about what it was like for
me
to find
you
, Rebecca, hanging,
hanging from a hook in the fucking ceiling
. I thought you were dead—he told me he'd fucked you and then killed you. How do you think that felt, eh?”
She blinked at him and with that small reaction something hardened in his chest. He slammed down the basket, bottles clinking, and walked away, feeling in his pocket for his keys.
She asked for it, she pushed me she pushed me
. He took deep breaths, half expecting her to be bouncing along at his side, poking him, telling him to take a chill pill or something. He had wanted to push her, wanted more than anything to see her rattled, and when he paused at the exit and turned round he knew he'd succeeded.
She was standing motionless in the center of the aisle under the vast fluorescent lights, a single, small figure, quite alone in the huge supermarket, her face blank. He took a few steps back down the aisle. “Becky?”
Her head jerked a fraction and her chin dropped but she didn't answer. When he took her hand it was cold.
So you've done it. Congratulations.
Hating himself and hating her, he led her out of the store and across Brixton to the car. They drove in silence and at home she took a bottle of Blavod and a packet of cigarillos upstairs and went to bed without eating. They didn't speak another word to each other that night.
8
July 20
R ELUCTANTLY AMIT MOVED the search from the area of the park and extended their house-to-house parameters and witness-appeal campaign. DS Fiona Quinn went to Donegal Crescent—it was still sealed to allow the Specialist Crime Unit's chemicals to cook, but she went in and swept the corner of the room where Alek Peach's statement placed the intruder. Meanwhile Alek Peach discharged himself from hospital.
“
What
?”
First thing in the morning, his jacket still on, his hair wet, a cup of Kryotos's good coffee in his hand, Caffery stood in the SIOs' doorway, disbelief on his face.
“Aye, this morning.”
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