The Traveling Corpse by Double Edge Press Page B

turned toward the Pro Shop, DeeDee called, “Will ya
sign me in? It’ll save me from walkin’ in there.”
    Verna worried, “You really don’t feel well,
do you, gal? Sure you want to play today?”
    â€œWell, I don’t feel tha greatest right now,
but let’s try it. I never know when it’s goin’ get better or
worse!” DeeDee said as she unzipped her windbreaker. “It’s so sunny
an’ lovely out taday, even if it is on tha cool side. Can ya
believe that my sister in Tennessee is freezin’? They had a
horrible ice storm. Chattanooga can be so beautiful when every
little branch and twig is covered in ice, but law, I’d sure rather
be here in tha sunshine than lookin’ at icicles!”
    Her friends nodded their agreement.
    Barb, the tallest of the women, was the best
golfer of the foursome. She usually hit the longest drive, although
DeeDee, who was the shortest and tiniest of them, often challenged
her. But not today. DeeDee’s leg was paining her and it interfered
with her swing.
    The first hole was a short one. The women’s
tee was poised on a narrow neck of land that lay between two small
ponds. Barb drove first off the tee, over-shot the green and ended
in the rough. Annie hit on. Verna’s landed hole-high just to the
left of the green, leaving her with an easy chip shot. DeeDee
pulled her club, and her ball lobbed up and dropped into the water
to the right. “Oh, dear, this isn’t gonna be pretty taday,” she
moaned.
    By the time they finished the third hole, it
was apparent that DeeDee’s sciatica pain was nearly constant. Twist
and turn as she tried, she couldn’t seem to get any relief; so she
decided not to drive off the fourth tee. Verna offered to take her
home, but DeeDee declined, saying, “I don’t wantta spoil tha game
fer ya all. I’ll jest ride along.”
    â€œWhy don’t we all quit?” Annie suggested.
    DeeDee protested, “Oh, no you don’t! I don’t
want ta be a spoil-sport.”
    Annie urged, “We could go to my place and
play bridge.”
    The other women agreed, but DeeDee admitted,
“Thanks, ya are all darlin’s ta be so kind ta me. But I couldn’t
sit still long ‘nough ta play bridge either. This sciatica’s really
acting up jest now, but it is so sweet of ya all ta offer. Anyway,
ya shouldn’t stop playin’ now, Annie. Ya are havin’ a great
round.”
    Looking at her score card, Annie smiled, “Can
you believe this? I’m actually beating Barb by two strokes! That’s
a switch.”
    Verna decided, “I don’t care what you say,
DeeDee; I’m taking you home. You need your heating pad.” To Annie
and Barb she said, “You two play out without us. Doc may not be
home yet, so I’ll stay with DeeDee until he comes home.”
    This time, DeeDee didn’t protest.
    As they said good-bye, Barb pointed out the
twosome following them, “Let’s let those men play through. There’s
no one coming behind them, and they hit so much farther than we do;
they’ll leave us in their dust. There’ll be no pressure on us
then.” She waved them through.
    â€œFine with me,” Annie said. “I have to go to
the potty, anyway.” She started walking, stopped, and looked
around. Puzzled, she asked, “Where is it?” Where’s the
Port-A-Potty?”
    Barb looked surprised too, “I see the new
building over there in the shade, but I don’t see the old one. You
wouldn’t think they’d take the old john away before the new
restroom was ready.” As she looked around, she saw Art coming
toward them. He was driving the park’s John Deere tractor with a
front-end loader mounted on it and a big smile on his wind-burned
face.
    â€œLook at that grin!” Annie said. “He’s like a
kid with a new toy when he gets to drive that tractor.” Art