The Top Ten Things Dead People Want to Tell You by Mike Dooley Page A

pain “caused by” others, living or dead, these tips can swiftly change your orbit to one that is more peaceful, loving, and fulfilled.
    Groundhog Day (without Bill Murray)
    Don’t dwell on the past. It draws your attention away from all that’s happening in the present. Plus it ensures that each of your subsequent life experiences will be tainted by the trauma of whatever was once said or done. Which will only trigger negative feelings, which will trigger negative behavior and choices, which in turn will trigger more negative manifestations. What goes around comes around (as in your thoughts coming around into more of those things you don’t like). Just as the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, the bitter grow more bitter, with ever-expanding reasons to be bitter. Dwelling upon what once hurt you will only bring new surprises, new losses, more disappointments— new reasons to be hurt.
    Leave Reruns to TV Networks
    Your recovery is further impeded, and unpleasant manifestations compounded, when your own focus on the past invites the misguided sympathy or well-meant overattention of those who want to demonstrate their compassion by confirming that what happened to you was indeed awful, destructive, immoral, disgusting, shameful, harrowing, damaging, icky-gross … and that’s just their warm-up. All of which, if you play along, only serves to create or confirm misbeliefs in your powerlessness, vulnerability, and victimhood. The “if you play along” part of that last sentence is all-important.
    Now that you’re discovering your power, you may wonder, What about my negative friends/spouse/co-workers? Must I dump them? Of course not. They obviously have some great qualities, too, or you never would’ve been their friends or married them, right? You like the same movies, laugh at the same jokes, and basically have fun together. You aren’t as corruptible as you think. Just don’t let their thoughts become your own. Don’t abdicate this highest of all responsibilities: to think for yourself. You’re learning this. Your inner powers are consolidating. By all means, defuse the negative chatter when you can, but whether or not you succeed, don’t play along. Far more importantly, realize that no one else’s moaning, lamenting, or complaining can change the new life track you’re on. You are unstoppable now, naturally more positive than negative, inclined to succeed, and born to thrive. Olé!
    Fighting Phantoms
    Seek not to fix or change others, especially when they’ve hurt you. Neither should you find excuses for their behavior or “learn to love them”—however good a sound bite the latter makes. What will serve you most is to create as much space as possible within which to heal, be distracted, and fill your life with new friends, ideas, and adventures.
    Einstein said that problems cannot be solved with the same mind-set that created them. The same can be said for manifestations and their mind-sets. Instead of tangling with what has already been created, turn your attention away and create anew.
    “No” is never forever. You need not make sweeping declarations of what you will or won’t do, or who you will or won’t see. Not that it’ll be easy. Not that you won’t often recall better or worse times from the past. Just do your best; it’ll always be enough. And leave the past to your biographers.
    How Not to Be Special
    Those who have never been seriously violated usually take it for granted that everyone has challenges—after all, they have challenges. Those who have been seriously violated can fall prey to the illusion that everyone else pretty much has a “normal” life, comparatively challenge-free, and doesn’t have to deal with the sometimes intense doubts and fears that plague them. This often leads the violated to draw the false conclusion that the violation is at the root of their every quiver, sensed inadequacy, or embarrassing awkwardness, further complicating their anguish.
    If