the key is to pay attention to what he does with his hands, not his feet.) Good leading isn’t wishy-washy, nor is it aggressive. The more firm and clear you are, the faster she’ll pick up on your intention. The more light and sensitive you are, the more she’ll enjoy your dance together.
4. Be Alert to Your Surroundings. You control where the two of you move on the dance floor, so you have to be especially aware of where you are in relation to other couples. Look for spaces between other dancers where you can swing her out. Change direction, freeze, or do a turn if another couple is heading right at you. Remember, your partner is putting herself in your hands. “I know certain partners I could dance with with my eyes closed because they would protect me,” says Fredda Seidenbaum. What you want to avoid at all costs is your partner’s getting kicked or jostled. You’d rather be dancing a second dance with her than running to find an ice pack, right?
5. Finally, Make It a Thrill. This is the cardinal rule. If it’s a thrill for her, you’re guaranteed to enjoy yourself too. “Treat her like she is the queen,” says Manning, “and you are just a jester in her court.”
Advice for Followers
Here’s an easy one: follow. Just let go and listen to what your partner is communicating to you. Of course, you need to know your steps, but if something new comes at you, the best advice is simply to go with the flow. “If you are a good follower, you can get through any dance with some degree of success,” says Debra Sternberg.
1. Listen to the Lead . It may feel odd at first to let a man tell you what to do. But give in, it’s just a three-minute dance after all. Being a good follower means not worrying about what comes next. You simply pick up and respond to your partner’s signals. If you feel uncomfortable being led, be aware of it and be patient with yourself. Champion Lindy Hopper Jenny Thomas recalls that she fought being a follower for almost a year when she was first learning the dance. Before she became partners with Ryan Francois, she had been a professional tap dancer but never a social dancer. “I had been trained to think, ‘Oh yeah, I know what comes next.’ Ryan would trip me up. For about a year, any time I recognized a step, he would change it halfway through and say, ‘Don’t anticipate the next move.’ I used to hate it. He’d actually trip me up in front of people on a social dance floor. And it’s actually made me a much better follower. I just think if you can let the lead take you on a ride, it’s so much more enjoyable.”
2. Don’t Backseat Drive. On the dance floor this is known as back-leading. Don’t do it.
3. Don’t Be Stiff. But don’t be a rag doll either. “We always give the equal and opposite movement of what the leader gives,” say Paul Overton’s partner, teacher Sharon Ashe.
It’s a Two-Way Street
Whether you’re the leader or the follower, you both want to be constantly sensitive to each other. Dancing is about what’s best for both of you. So don’t forge ahead and forget what’s going on with the other person. “In a jazz band when a soloist goes on a riff, they don’t just go off on their own. It relates back to what the band is doing,” says Ashe. “So even though I might improvise with my feet, I want to relate it back to the song and to my partner.” Just take a second and watch a few couples on the dance floor. It’s easy to spot the pairs that aren’t on the same page. They’re the couple letting fly with the most amazing moves, but they never even look in each other’s eyes. “They’re dancing at each other, not with each other,” says Sternberg. Nothing’s less fun than having partners, “who are doing their own moves,” adds Ashe. “They are doing the same thing they always do. They are being cool. Or they are grandstanding.”
By contrast, a couple can be doing the simplest of moves and if the communication is intense, they will
4. Be Alert to Your Surroundings. You control where the two of you move on the dance floor, so you have to be especially aware of where you are in relation to other couples. Look for spaces between other dancers where you can swing her out. Change direction, freeze, or do a turn if another couple is heading right at you. Remember, your partner is putting herself in your hands. “I know certain partners I could dance with with my eyes closed because they would protect me,” says Fredda Seidenbaum. What you want to avoid at all costs is your partner’s getting kicked or jostled. You’d rather be dancing a second dance with her than running to find an ice pack, right?
5. Finally, Make It a Thrill. This is the cardinal rule. If it’s a thrill for her, you’re guaranteed to enjoy yourself too. “Treat her like she is the queen,” says Manning, “and you are just a jester in her court.”
Advice for Followers
Here’s an easy one: follow. Just let go and listen to what your partner is communicating to you. Of course, you need to know your steps, but if something new comes at you, the best advice is simply to go with the flow. “If you are a good follower, you can get through any dance with some degree of success,” says Debra Sternberg.
1. Listen to the Lead . It may feel odd at first to let a man tell you what to do. But give in, it’s just a three-minute dance after all. Being a good follower means not worrying about what comes next. You simply pick up and respond to your partner’s signals. If you feel uncomfortable being led, be aware of it and be patient with yourself. Champion Lindy Hopper Jenny Thomas recalls that she fought being a follower for almost a year when she was first learning the dance. Before she became partners with Ryan Francois, she had been a professional tap dancer but never a social dancer. “I had been trained to think, ‘Oh yeah, I know what comes next.’ Ryan would trip me up. For about a year, any time I recognized a step, he would change it halfway through and say, ‘Don’t anticipate the next move.’ I used to hate it. He’d actually trip me up in front of people on a social dance floor. And it’s actually made me a much better follower. I just think if you can let the lead take you on a ride, it’s so much more enjoyable.”
2. Don’t Backseat Drive. On the dance floor this is known as back-leading. Don’t do it.
3. Don’t Be Stiff. But don’t be a rag doll either. “We always give the equal and opposite movement of what the leader gives,” say Paul Overton’s partner, teacher Sharon Ashe.
It’s a Two-Way Street
Whether you’re the leader or the follower, you both want to be constantly sensitive to each other. Dancing is about what’s best for both of you. So don’t forge ahead and forget what’s going on with the other person. “In a jazz band when a soloist goes on a riff, they don’t just go off on their own. It relates back to what the band is doing,” says Ashe. “So even though I might improvise with my feet, I want to relate it back to the song and to my partner.” Just take a second and watch a few couples on the dance floor. It’s easy to spot the pairs that aren’t on the same page. They’re the couple letting fly with the most amazing moves, but they never even look in each other’s eyes. “They’re dancing at each other, not with each other,” says Sternberg. Nothing’s less fun than having partners, “who are doing their own moves,” adds Ashe. “They are doing the same thing they always do. They are being cool. Or they are grandstanding.”
By contrast, a couple can be doing the simplest of moves and if the communication is intense, they will
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