closed door behind her. Meri stopped and swallowed. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to have this conversation here, tonight, after all. If Jack wasn’t in a good mood, and if things were likely to get loud and disturb his daughter, then…
“Let’s go outside.” His suggestions surprised her, but she nodded quickly. It would be foolish to miss the opportunity, if he actually wanted to speak to her. And was it her imagination, or did his hands linger on her shoulders as he helped her into her coat?
It might’ve been warm enough during that afternoon, while she was working out in the mid-April sun, but the evening held a distinct chill. Meri rubbed her hands up and down her arms, wishing she’d stopped to put on her bonnet to keep her ears warm.
Jack walked a few steps away from the front door, his arms crossed in front of him, watching the last of the day’s pinks and oranges sink into the western horizon. She moved beside him, wondering if he thought the silence was awkward, or comforting.
Finally, she took another deep breath, holding on to the thoughts that had been jumbling around in her head all day. For months, really. “I know that we haven’t talked about our pasts, Jack, but I want you to understand why I came here.”
She was encouraged by the way he blinked, and frowned, and then turned to face her completely. She felt like he was really seeing her for the first time today. “I…” Now that she was finally telling him, though, she discovered that she couldn’t stand seeing the interest in his blue eyes. “I was in school in Philadelphia. The Female Medical College of Pennsylvania is truly remarkable, and I was lucky to be there, to be living on a stipend with a few other students. But not everyone was pleased at the thought of a bunch of women physicians, and sometimes they…expressed their anger.”
Maybe something showed on her face, because he slowly uncrossed his arms. She watched his hands fist by his side, and wanted to nod. He knew what was coming. “There was one man, who I thought was interested in marrying me. We’d go stepping out together, nice walks and dinners. But one night, he came to our apartment.” She shuddered, remembering the smell of alcohol on Bernard’s breath as he forced his way into their home. “We asked him to leave, but he…” She swallowed. “He hit me.”
Jack jerked then, slightly, as if he wanted to reach for her but stopped himself. She met his eyes, and knew the sorrow she saw in them was for her. Unconsciously, she swayed towards him. “He said that women would never be doctors, and that absolutely no one would want a single woman treating them.” Bernard had sneered that in her face, and she’d flinched. She flinched again, tonight, and Jack cursed under his breath, opening his arms to her.
Gratefully, she sank against him, resting her head on his shoulder, reveling in the warmth of his body against hers. Stronger now, she swallowed. “He tried to do things to me that night, but Lettie returned with help before he could…” Her shudder was unintentional, but Jack’s arms squeezed around her, and made her feel safe in a way she didn’t think another man’s ever could, after Bernard.
“After, I realized that I couldn’t stay there in the city. I couldn’t stay in the school, not with him nearby. And even if it wasn’t him…I didn’t feel safe anymore. I wanted to leave, to go back to the small town I’d been raised in, where I could do the good I’d always wanted to do. But Bernard was right; it was hard to be a female doctor in a small town. I needed a husband to make me legitimate .” She pulled away just slightly, so that she could stare up into his face, impassive now. “I knew that a husband who was a doctor would be the best for me.
“And then I saw your advertisement, and all I could think was that I must have some sort of godmother looking out for me, because you sounded perfect.”
“Meri…”
“Oh, I know that you
“Let’s go outside.” His suggestions surprised her, but she nodded quickly. It would be foolish to miss the opportunity, if he actually wanted to speak to her. And was it her imagination, or did his hands linger on her shoulders as he helped her into her coat?
It might’ve been warm enough during that afternoon, while she was working out in the mid-April sun, but the evening held a distinct chill. Meri rubbed her hands up and down her arms, wishing she’d stopped to put on her bonnet to keep her ears warm.
Jack walked a few steps away from the front door, his arms crossed in front of him, watching the last of the day’s pinks and oranges sink into the western horizon. She moved beside him, wondering if he thought the silence was awkward, or comforting.
Finally, she took another deep breath, holding on to the thoughts that had been jumbling around in her head all day. For months, really. “I know that we haven’t talked about our pasts, Jack, but I want you to understand why I came here.”
She was encouraged by the way he blinked, and frowned, and then turned to face her completely. She felt like he was really seeing her for the first time today. “I…” Now that she was finally telling him, though, she discovered that she couldn’t stand seeing the interest in his blue eyes. “I was in school in Philadelphia. The Female Medical College of Pennsylvania is truly remarkable, and I was lucky to be there, to be living on a stipend with a few other students. But not everyone was pleased at the thought of a bunch of women physicians, and sometimes they…expressed their anger.”
Maybe something showed on her face, because he slowly uncrossed his arms. She watched his hands fist by his side, and wanted to nod. He knew what was coming. “There was one man, who I thought was interested in marrying me. We’d go stepping out together, nice walks and dinners. But one night, he came to our apartment.” She shuddered, remembering the smell of alcohol on Bernard’s breath as he forced his way into their home. “We asked him to leave, but he…” She swallowed. “He hit me.”
Jack jerked then, slightly, as if he wanted to reach for her but stopped himself. She met his eyes, and knew the sorrow she saw in them was for her. Unconsciously, she swayed towards him. “He said that women would never be doctors, and that absolutely no one would want a single woman treating them.” Bernard had sneered that in her face, and she’d flinched. She flinched again, tonight, and Jack cursed under his breath, opening his arms to her.
Gratefully, she sank against him, resting her head on his shoulder, reveling in the warmth of his body against hers. Stronger now, she swallowed. “He tried to do things to me that night, but Lettie returned with help before he could…” Her shudder was unintentional, but Jack’s arms squeezed around her, and made her feel safe in a way she didn’t think another man’s ever could, after Bernard.
“After, I realized that I couldn’t stay there in the city. I couldn’t stay in the school, not with him nearby. And even if it wasn’t him…I didn’t feel safe anymore. I wanted to leave, to go back to the small town I’d been raised in, where I could do the good I’d always wanted to do. But Bernard was right; it was hard to be a female doctor in a small town. I needed a husband to make me legitimate .” She pulled away just slightly, so that she could stare up into his face, impassive now. “I knew that a husband who was a doctor would be the best for me.
“And then I saw your advertisement, and all I could think was that I must have some sort of godmother looking out for me, because you sounded perfect.”
“Meri…”
“Oh, I know that you
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