The Society Of Dirty Hearts by Ben Cheetham Page A

until you talk to me about what happened yesterday.”
    “Go away or I’ll scream.”
    “Just answer me one question.”
    Mia stopped and let out a scream. Other school kids stopped, too, turning towards her in surprise and curiosity. “Hey, what’s going on?” asked somebody.
    “Okay, okay I’m going.” Julian backed away from Mia. I’m sorry , he mouthed, before heading to his car. He drove to the bridge and leant over the handrail, wondering what Mia saw when she stood there. The look that came into her eyes reminded him of something, he realised. It reminded him of the way his Grandma Alice had looked all those years ago when she’d burst into the bedroom after the séance. It was the look of someone seeing, or trying to see, into the unknown, the beyond. But who did her eyes search for there? And why did it matter to him? Why did this nobody girl matter so much to him? He wondered if there was a connection between the one and the other. He stared into the water, the water stared back inscrutably, holding onto its secrets jealously.  
    Julian drove to The Cut. He bought a beer with the last of his money and sipped it slowly, making it last as long as possible. His eyes were never far from the clock on the wall behind the bar. At three o’clock he returned to the school, parking where he could see the gate, but out of the line of sight of a casual glance from the gate. At the end of the school day, when the kids streamed home, he followed Mia in his car, careful to keep his distance. She went straight to her foster parents’ house, speaking to no one along the way. He parked on the busy main-road at the end of the street out of sight of the house. The street was a cul-de-sac, so Mia couldn’t leave it without him knowing. One hour passed, two, three. The street-lamps flickered into life. A girl emerged from the street, walking quickly, head down as if she didn’t want to see or be seen by anyone. She was almost past the car before Julian realised it was Mia, looking so different as to be almost unrecognisable. Gone were the torn fishnets, leather jacket, heavy makeup and facial piercings. She wore a knee-length summer dress that clung to her pencil waist, flat pumps and little makeup other than childish pink lipstick. Her hair was dyed sandy blonde and tied back in a ponytail. It gave Julian a jolt to see her. It was as if she’d found an old newspaper photo of Susan Carter and got herself up to look like it.  
    Julian lowered the driver’s side window. “Mia.”
    She hurried onwards, seeming not to hear. He got out of the car, calling her name again. She started and looked up. A frown gathered between her eyes. “Are you stalking me or something?”
    “What’s going on? Why do you look like…like that?”
    “How many times have I got to tell you to leave me the fuck alone?”
    “Please, Mia. If you’re in trouble, I can-”
    Mia’s hiss silenced Julian mid-sentence. She turned away from him and continued walking. He followed her. Her eyes flashed an angry glance at him. “Do you want me to scream again?”
    “Scream your lungs out. I don’t care.”
    “Why are you doing this? What the fuck am I to you? I mean, you don’t want to fuck me. And we’re not even friends.”
    “I…I like you, that’s all. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.”
    Mia stopped and turned to Julian. Her eyes were softer than before, but there was a kind of contempt behind them too. “You’re too late, Julian. The bad thing already happened.”
    He shook his head hard. “It’s not too late. You’re still here, still alive.”
    “Just because something looks alive on the outside doesn’t mean it’s alive on the inside.”
    “Maybe so, but there’s nothing dead about you.”
    “How the fuck would you know? You can’t see inside me.”
    “Then open up. Show me what’s inside you. It can’t be any worse than what’s inside me.”
    Mia snorted, the contempt at the front of her eyes now.