seems to decide I’ve recovered, then points her wand at Toby and says, “Let me introduce you boys. Joe Fontaine, this is Toby Shaw, Bailey’s boyfriend.”
Whoosh—I see it: a waterfall of relief pours over Joe. I see the case close in his mind, as he probably thinks there couldn’t be anything going on—because what kind of sister would ever cross that kind of line?
“Hey, I’m so sorry,” he tells Toby.
“Thanks.” Toby tries to smile, but it comes out all wrong and homicidal. Joe, however, so unburdened by Gram’s revelation, doesn’t even notice, just turns around buoyant as ever, and goes to join his brothers, followed by Gram.
“I’m going to go, Lennie.” Toby’s voice is barely audible over the music. I turn around, see that Joe is now bent over his guitar, oblivious to everything but the sound his fingers are making.
“I’ll walk you out,” I say.
Toby says good-bye to Gram, Big, and the Fontaines, all of whom are surprised he’s leaving so soon, especially Gram, who I can tell is adding some things up.
I follow him to his truck—Lucy, Ethel, and I, all yapping at his feet. He opens the door, doesn’t get in, leans against the cab. We are facing each other and there’s not a trace of the calm or gentleness I’ve become so accustomed to seeing in his expression, but something fierce and unhinged in its place. He’s in total tough-skater-dude mode, and though I don’t want to, I’m finding it arresting. I feel a current coursing between us, feel it begin to rip out of control inside of me. What is it? I think as he looks into my eyes, then at my mouth, then sweeps his gaze slowly, proprietarily over my body. Why can’t we stop this? I feel so reckless—like I’m reeling with him into the air on his board with no regard for safety or consequence, with no regard for anything but speed and daring and being hungrily, greedily alive—but I tell him, “No. Not now.”
“When?”
“Tomorrow. After work,” I say, against my better judgment, against any judgment.
----
What do you girls want for dinner?
What do you girls think about my new painting?
What do the girls want to do this weekend?
Did the girls leave for school yet?
I haven’t seen the girls yet today.
I told those girls to hurry up!
Where are those girls?
Girls, don’t forget your lunches.
Girls, be home by 11 p.m.
Girls, don’t even think of swimming—it’s freezing out.
Are the Walker Girls coming to the party?
The Walker Girls were at the river last night.
Let’s see if the Walker Girls are home.
----
(Found written on the wall of Bailey’s closet)
chapter 14
I FIND GRAM, who is twirling around the living room with her sage wand like an overgrown fairy. I tell her that I’m sorry, but I don’t feel well and need to go upstairs.
She stops mid-whirl. I know she senses trouble, but she says, “Okay, sweet pea.” I apologize to everyone and say good night as nonchalantly as possible.
Joe follows me out of the room, and I decide it might be time to join a convent, just cloister up with the Sisters for a while.
He touches my shoulder and I turn around to face him. “I hope what I said in the woods didn’t freak you out or something ... hope that’s not why you’re crashing ...”
“No, no.” His eyes are wide with worry. I add, “It made me pretty happy, actually.” Which of course is true except for the slight problem that immediately after hearing his declaration, I made a date with my dead sister’s boyfriend to do God knows what!
“Good.” He brushes his thumb on my cheek, and again his tenderness startles me. “Because I’m going crazy, Lennie.” Bat. Bat. Bat. And just like that, I’m going crazy too because I’m thinking Joe Fontaine is about to kiss me. Finally.
Forget the convent.
Let’s get this out of the way: My previously nonexistent floozy-factor is blowing right off the charts.
“I didn’t know you knew my name,” I say.
“So much you don’t know about
Whoosh—I see it: a waterfall of relief pours over Joe. I see the case close in his mind, as he probably thinks there couldn’t be anything going on—because what kind of sister would ever cross that kind of line?
“Hey, I’m so sorry,” he tells Toby.
“Thanks.” Toby tries to smile, but it comes out all wrong and homicidal. Joe, however, so unburdened by Gram’s revelation, doesn’t even notice, just turns around buoyant as ever, and goes to join his brothers, followed by Gram.
“I’m going to go, Lennie.” Toby’s voice is barely audible over the music. I turn around, see that Joe is now bent over his guitar, oblivious to everything but the sound his fingers are making.
“I’ll walk you out,” I say.
Toby says good-bye to Gram, Big, and the Fontaines, all of whom are surprised he’s leaving so soon, especially Gram, who I can tell is adding some things up.
I follow him to his truck—Lucy, Ethel, and I, all yapping at his feet. He opens the door, doesn’t get in, leans against the cab. We are facing each other and there’s not a trace of the calm or gentleness I’ve become so accustomed to seeing in his expression, but something fierce and unhinged in its place. He’s in total tough-skater-dude mode, and though I don’t want to, I’m finding it arresting. I feel a current coursing between us, feel it begin to rip out of control inside of me. What is it? I think as he looks into my eyes, then at my mouth, then sweeps his gaze slowly, proprietarily over my body. Why can’t we stop this? I feel so reckless—like I’m reeling with him into the air on his board with no regard for safety or consequence, with no regard for anything but speed and daring and being hungrily, greedily alive—but I tell him, “No. Not now.”
“When?”
“Tomorrow. After work,” I say, against my better judgment, against any judgment.
----
What do you girls want for dinner?
What do you girls think about my new painting?
What do the girls want to do this weekend?
Did the girls leave for school yet?
I haven’t seen the girls yet today.
I told those girls to hurry up!
Where are those girls?
Girls, don’t forget your lunches.
Girls, be home by 11 p.m.
Girls, don’t even think of swimming—it’s freezing out.
Are the Walker Girls coming to the party?
The Walker Girls were at the river last night.
Let’s see if the Walker Girls are home.
----
(Found written on the wall of Bailey’s closet)
chapter 14
I FIND GRAM, who is twirling around the living room with her sage wand like an overgrown fairy. I tell her that I’m sorry, but I don’t feel well and need to go upstairs.
She stops mid-whirl. I know she senses trouble, but she says, “Okay, sweet pea.” I apologize to everyone and say good night as nonchalantly as possible.
Joe follows me out of the room, and I decide it might be time to join a convent, just cloister up with the Sisters for a while.
He touches my shoulder and I turn around to face him. “I hope what I said in the woods didn’t freak you out or something ... hope that’s not why you’re crashing ...”
“No, no.” His eyes are wide with worry. I add, “It made me pretty happy, actually.” Which of course is true except for the slight problem that immediately after hearing his declaration, I made a date with my dead sister’s boyfriend to do God knows what!
“Good.” He brushes his thumb on my cheek, and again his tenderness startles me. “Because I’m going crazy, Lennie.” Bat. Bat. Bat. And just like that, I’m going crazy too because I’m thinking Joe Fontaine is about to kiss me. Finally.
Forget the convent.
Let’s get this out of the way: My previously nonexistent floozy-factor is blowing right off the charts.
“I didn’t know you knew my name,” I say.
“So much you don’t know about
Similar Books
