interview a lot of people. Your parents, your
parents-in-law - everyone who's close to you. We shall question
them all, and
He got no further. She made to jump up, gripping the seat of her
chair with both hands as if that were all that could keep her in her
place. "Your parents ..." The words reverberated in her head.
"I'm warning you!" she snarled. "Leave my father alone. You're
welcome to interview my parents-in-law, they'll tell you what you
want to hear: that I'm just a shameless, money-grubbing floozy. A
floozy - my mother-in-law called me that from the outset. She can
be an absolute bitch - she's always finding fault with me."
Grovian was unaware that she'd said her parents were dead. He
saw Werner Hoss make a sign but construed it as a recommendation
that the interview be discontinued, and that didn't suit him.
Why stop just when he was getting somewhere? The glacier was
melting, he could already hear its waters gurgling in his ears. Her
parents, her father ... He swiftly grasped that he'd touched a nerve.
When she went on, lie realized that more than one sore point was
involved.
Hoss scribbled something on a piece of paper. Parents dead,
Grovian read. Well, well, he thought, but he didn't have time to
dwell on it. Her voice had lost its stability and was fluttering like a
leaf in the wind.
"I didn't lose the child. It was a precipitate birth - the doctors
said it can happen to anyone. It's nothing at all to do with whether
you've slept with one man or a hundred. I haven't slept with a
hundred men. As a child I used to imagine their things rotted off
in due course."
She was gripping the fingers of her left hand in her right and
kneading them as if she meant to break them. Grovian watched
her with a mixture of fascination and triumph. Staring at the floor,
she went on quietly: "But it was nice with Gereon. He never forced
me. He was always kind to me. I shouldn't have married him
because I ... because l ... I used to have this dream, but I hadn't
had it for quite a long time, and I ... I only wanted to ..."
She broke off, raised her head and gazed into his face, her voice
hoarse with panic. "I only wanted to lead a normal life with a
nice young husband. I wanted what other women have, can you
understand that?"
He nodded. Who wouldn't have understood, and what father
wouldn't have wanted his own daughter to pursue the same aim:
that of leading a happy, contented life with a nice, respectable
husband?
That was the moment when a change occurred in Rudolf
Grovian's attitude. He didn't notice it at the time; in fact, he still
considered himself impartial days later, a conscientious policeman
entitled to feel pity when confronted by the misery of an offender.
Pity wasn't forbidden as long as you didn't lose sight of your
objective, and that he never did for a moment. The aim of his work
was detection and elucidation, rooting around in dark corners and
searching for evidence. It made no difference whether those dark
corners were located in a building, a patch of forest or a human
soul.
Grovian did not aspire to usurp the role of an expert in the latter
field, nor was it his intention to prove, by hook or by crook, that his
initial assumption was correct. He was just a man who had been
faced with a challenge, who failed to spot the preliminary alarm
signals emitted by a mind on the brink of derangement, who was
tempted and succumbed.
Cora Bender shut her eyes tight. `And that's the way it was
at first," she said haltingly. "It was all quite normal. I enjoyed it
when Gereon made love to me. I liked going to bed with him. But
then ... it started again. It wasn't his fault, lie meant well. Other
women like it - they're crazy about it. He wasn't to know what he was starting when lie did it to me. I didn't know myself till it
happened. I ought to have discussed it with him, but what should
I have told him - that I'm not a lesbian? But it wasn't that, I think.
I don't
parents-in-law - everyone who's close to you. We shall question
them all, and
He got no further. She made to jump up, gripping the seat of her
chair with both hands as if that were all that could keep her in her
place. "Your parents ..." The words reverberated in her head.
"I'm warning you!" she snarled. "Leave my father alone. You're
welcome to interview my parents-in-law, they'll tell you what you
want to hear: that I'm just a shameless, money-grubbing floozy. A
floozy - my mother-in-law called me that from the outset. She can
be an absolute bitch - she's always finding fault with me."
Grovian was unaware that she'd said her parents were dead. He
saw Werner Hoss make a sign but construed it as a recommendation
that the interview be discontinued, and that didn't suit him.
Why stop just when he was getting somewhere? The glacier was
melting, he could already hear its waters gurgling in his ears. Her
parents, her father ... He swiftly grasped that he'd touched a nerve.
When she went on, lie realized that more than one sore point was
involved.
Hoss scribbled something on a piece of paper. Parents dead,
Grovian read. Well, well, he thought, but he didn't have time to
dwell on it. Her voice had lost its stability and was fluttering like a
leaf in the wind.
"I didn't lose the child. It was a precipitate birth - the doctors
said it can happen to anyone. It's nothing at all to do with whether
you've slept with one man or a hundred. I haven't slept with a
hundred men. As a child I used to imagine their things rotted off
in due course."
She was gripping the fingers of her left hand in her right and
kneading them as if she meant to break them. Grovian watched
her with a mixture of fascination and triumph. Staring at the floor,
she went on quietly: "But it was nice with Gereon. He never forced
me. He was always kind to me. I shouldn't have married him
because I ... because l ... I used to have this dream, but I hadn't
had it for quite a long time, and I ... I only wanted to ..."
She broke off, raised her head and gazed into his face, her voice
hoarse with panic. "I only wanted to lead a normal life with a
nice young husband. I wanted what other women have, can you
understand that?"
He nodded. Who wouldn't have understood, and what father
wouldn't have wanted his own daughter to pursue the same aim:
that of leading a happy, contented life with a nice, respectable
husband?
That was the moment when a change occurred in Rudolf
Grovian's attitude. He didn't notice it at the time; in fact, he still
considered himself impartial days later, a conscientious policeman
entitled to feel pity when confronted by the misery of an offender.
Pity wasn't forbidden as long as you didn't lose sight of your
objective, and that he never did for a moment. The aim of his work
was detection and elucidation, rooting around in dark corners and
searching for evidence. It made no difference whether those dark
corners were located in a building, a patch of forest or a human
soul.
Grovian did not aspire to usurp the role of an expert in the latter
field, nor was it his intention to prove, by hook or by crook, that his
initial assumption was correct. He was just a man who had been
faced with a challenge, who failed to spot the preliminary alarm
signals emitted by a mind on the brink of derangement, who was
tempted and succumbed.
Cora Bender shut her eyes tight. `And that's the way it was
at first," she said haltingly. "It was all quite normal. I enjoyed it
when Gereon made love to me. I liked going to bed with him. But
then ... it started again. It wasn't his fault, lie meant well. Other
women like it - they're crazy about it. He wasn't to know what he was starting when lie did it to me. I didn't know myself till it
happened. I ought to have discussed it with him, but what should
I have told him - that I'm not a lesbian? But it wasn't that, I think.
I don't
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